How to bury a Hooker in the Nevada desert

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by I B Hankering

Jonathan Swift's - one of the greatest of Anglo-Irish satirists - A Modest Proposal - makes fun of Americans, the Irish and Catholics and recommends cannibalism of children. Outrageous satire in 1729, still outrageous in 2011, and it's still satire.

I`ve seen Borat. And i do find it funny, Because they overdo the humour part ;-) so its not that i don`t understand humour. Its just that this is just a job description for a killer. Nothing more...

[Camille]

This was on facebook at one point...one of those silly group pages. FB were pretty damn quick to take it down too...so I guess they didn't see the humor in it either, satire or otherwise. I agree with all ...it's crap and not funny.

C xx

[RebeccaRothko]

JFC, it's funny because it's an overdone stock bit from a fuckload of comedy movies usually involving a bachelor party or some shit. Fuck taking the body out to the desert, just stuff it in the mattress a la Four Rooms.

[gnadfly]

Didn't you see "Casino?" Always have the grave pre-dug. But if you are going to do it with amateurs, have their graves dug too because they are going to flip eventually too. You will get caught when you do it in the casino-hotel because they have cameras everywhere, even the elevators.

But if you are going to do it like the first post, be sure to document it with a digital camera so your buddies can enjoy it a la "The Hangover."

[Wakeup]

Now that was funny right there...

You people take things way too serious...take a step outside hookerdom and johndom and you'll see that he's not actually advocating violence against anyone, he's making fun of stereotypes. It's damn fucking hilarious if you take it for what it is, and don't try to remake it into a real statement...

[Out_of_Bounds]

All you need is a hacksaw, a couple gallons of muriatic acid, and a bathtub.

[RebeccaRothko]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tFDA7GLx4k
"There's a dead body in my bed and it smells like shit and it looks even worse." I love that movie.

[Rudyard K]

Another real knee slapper.

[RebeccaRothko]

Originally Posted by Rudyard K

Another real knee slapper.

Oh poo poo. I feel great sadness for you that you are unable to derive any amusement from Four Rooms. Roth's bell hop is fucking comedic genius.

[Malachaii]

Originally Posted by RebeccaRothko

JFC, it's funny because it's an overdone stock bit from a fuckload of comedy movies usually involving a bachelor party or some shit. Fuck taking the body out to the desert, just stuff it in the mattress a la Four Rooms.

Originally Posted by Wakeuр

Now that was funny right there...

You people take things way too serious...take a step outside hookerdom and johndom and you'll see that he's not actually advocating violence against anyone, he's making fun of stereotypes. It's damn fucking hilarious if you take it for what it is, and don't try to remake it into a real statement...

The voices of reason speak at last. Humor is often meant to be offensive and the fact you are all offended by it counts as a "win" for the author of the offending article. The following is a quote from urbandictionary.com and it is both on topic and hilarious.

1. dead hooker unit 54 up, 1 down

The amount of space occupied by a dead hooker, typically used to measure the size of a car's trunk. The actual volume of a Dead Hooker Unit has been disputed, since hookers come in different sizes. Most parties agree that a DHU is the average volume occupied by a dead hooker, but that there is not a definite conversion from DHU to liters.
A Ford Taurus only has a 3.1 Dead Hooker Unit trunk. What are we going to do with the fourth dead hooker?

[Camille]

What annoys me most about stupid shit like this is the liability that some numb nuts will attach to it...after actually killing a hooker and trying to bury her as detailed. I can hear the train approaching already. Choo choo

C

[Wakeup]

Originally Posted by Camille

What annoys me most about stupid shit like this is the liability that some numb nuts will attach to it...after actually killing a hooker and trying to bury her as detailed.

Oh Camille, that's awesome! Liability? You've given me a great idea...

:fade in on late night infomercial stage:

Have you ever been caught in an uncompromising situation? Have you ever let your sexual proclivities get out of hand? Have you ever needed another shovel? Well fear no more, because for a limited time, Wakeup Enterprises, LLC is offering you, at a cost of only pennies per day, Dead Hooker Liability Insurance.

That trip to the desert can be long and arduous. Don't take the chance that you'll be caught in a bad spot if you get pulled over by the cops with a dead hooker in your trunk, get Dead Hooker Liability Insurance.

Don't sweat profusely when that officer asks you if you'd mind if he looked in your trunk, get Dead Hooker Liability Insurance.

Don't worry if you run out of trunk space for your dead hookers, Dead Hooker Liability Insurance offers free moving services.

Don't panic if you break the handle on your last shovel when trying to bury your dead hooker in the desert, Dead Hooker Liability Insurance offers free roadside assistance.

Ever get lost in the desert while looking for the best spot to bury your dead hooker? Have no fear, because Dead Hooker Liability Insurance grants you exclusive turn-by-turn directions to all of the hottest dead hooker burial spots.

Call now, our operators are standing by. 1-800-DEADHOE. One again, that's 1-800-DEADHOE. Call now!

[Marshall]

Very Bad Things

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Very Bad Things
Theatrical release posterDirected byPeter BergProduced byCindy Cowan
Diane Nabatoff
Michael Schiffer[1]Written byPeter BergStarringJon Favreau
Cameron Diaz
Christian Slater
Jeremy Piven
Daniel Stern
Leland OrserMusic byStewart CopelandCinematographyDavid HenningsEditing byDan LebentalStudioInterscope Communications
Initial Entertainment GroupDistributed byPolyGram Filmed EntertainmentRelease date(s)November 25, 1998Running time100 minutesCountryUnited StatesLanguageEnglishBudget$10 millionGross revenue$9.9 millionVery Bad Things is a 1998 black comedy, directed by Peter Berg. It stars Jon Favreau, Cameron Diaz, Christian Slater and Jeremy Piven, with co-stars Daniel Stern and Leland Orser.
Contents

[hide]

• <LI class="toclevel-1 tocsection-1">1 Plot <LI class="toclevel-1 tocsection-2">2 Cast <LI class="toclevel-1 tocsection-3">3 Reception <LI class="toclevel-1 tocsection-4">4 References
• 5 External links

[edit] Plot

Kyle Fisher (Jon Favreau), days away from his wedding, welcomes his bachelor party weekend as a chance to break free from his Bridezilla fiancée Laura (Cameron Diaz). Along with his best friend Charles (Leland Orser), his friends Michael (Jeremy Piven), and Boyd (Christian Slater), and Michael’s brother Adam (Daniel Stern), they celebrate in a Las Vegas hotel room — complete with drinking, drugs, and a stripper (Kobe Tai).
However, trouble begins when Michael accidentally kills the stripper in the hotel bathroom. When a security guard finds her body, he threatens to call the police but is killed by Boyd. Boyd takes charge of the group and devises a plan to dispose of the bodies by burying them in the desert. Everyone grudgingly goes through with the plan, but soon guilt and nerves begin to destroy the group.
Upon returning from Las Vegas, during Kyle and Laura's rehearsal dinner, Adam cracks under the pressure, leading to a confrontation between Adam and Michael in the parking lot. The rest of the group breaks up the fight, convincing Michael to leave, but instead he decides to crash his Jeep into Adam's beloved minivan. Seeing his brother's intentions, Adam darts in front of the Jeep at the last moment and is crushed in the collision.
At the hospital, Adam whispers something to his wife, Lois (Jeanne Tripplehorn), before he dies. Soon afterwards, Lois calls everyone over to her house. Lois states that Adam mentioned that something had happened in Vegas, but died before he was able to tell her. Seeing Michael in a state of despair, Lois prods him for information, threatening to call the police if she is not told the truth. As Michael is about to crack, Kyle quickly makes up a story about Adam having sex with a prostitute in Vegas. Lois appears to believe him, and the group leaves.
After dropping Kyle, Michael, and Charles off at a nearby bar, Boyd returns to Lois' house, where a violent fight ensues after Lois realizes that Boyd intends to kill her. After they struggle, it is implied that Boyd succeeds in killing Lois. Immediately afterwards, Boyd calls Kyle, telling him that Lois wishes to speak to Michael. Kyle and Charles then take Michael to Lois' house, and, moments after Michael goes inside the house, a loud noise is heard and Boyd enters the car without Michael. Boyd then concocts a false love triangle story to explain Lois and Michael’s deaths, in case any of the remaining three friends are questioned by the police.
The next day, Kyle and Laura discover that they have been awarded custody of Adam and Lois' two disabled children and their dog. This angers Laura, but even more so after they learn that Adam’s life insurance policy is only worth $14,223. This new stress proves to be too much for Kyle, who confesses to Laura what happened in Vegas. Instead of being horrified at the confession, Laura is enraged that there is yet another distraction from her wedding, dismissing his confession.
On the day of the wedding, Boyd confronts Kyle about the Adam’s insurance money. Kyle attempts to tell Boyd that there was no money, but Boyd attacks and begins strangling him, only to be bludgeoned from behind by Laura, knocking him unconscious. During the wedding, it is discovered that Boyd had the rings for the ceremony. Charles goes to retrieve them as Boyd is crawling up the stairs towards the wedding hall, leading Charles to inadvertently knock Boyd down the stairwell. Reaching into Boyd's coat for the rings, Boyd once again wakes and grabs his hand. However, he quickly loses consciousness and dies, as Charles retrieves the rings and rejoins the ceremony, which ends without further incident.
Later, Kyle attempts to talk to Laura about his confession and is horrified to hear that she wishes more loose ends were tied up, ordering Kyle to kill Charles. She also orders him to kill Adam’s children and their dog to rid her of her responsibilities towards them. Kyle takes Charles, the dog, and a suitcase containing Boyd's body back out to the Vegas desert. After burying Boyd, Kyle appears to be preparing to bludgeon Charles with his shovel, however, the next scene shows them all driving back from the burial site. On the way back, Kyle loses focus while daydreaming, crashing head-on into an oncoming car.
Some time later, Laura is scrubbing and cleaning her house, living the life she always detested. Kyle, Charles, the dog, and Adam’s children are now all disabled in some way and rely on Laura to take care of them. Laura, overwhelmed and distraught over the pressures of all her unwanted responsibility, runs out into the street and falls down, crying and shrieking in hysterical anguish, as the credits roll.
[edit] Cast

• Jon Favreau as Kyle Fisher
• Cameron Diaz as Laura Garrety
• Jeremy Piven as Michael Berkow
• Christian Slater as Robert Boyd
• Leland Orser as Charles Moore
• Daniel Stern as Adam Berkow
• Joey Zimmerman as Adam Berkow, Jr.
• Jeanne Tripplehorn as Lois Berkow

[edit] Reception

The humorous presentation of such dark material was off-putting to most critics. The film scored a 44% on Rotten Tomatoes, with the consensus, "Mean-spirited and empty."[2] Roger Ebert wrote that Very Bad Things is "not a bad movie, just a reprehensible one."[3]
Some critics did appreciate the cold-blooded approach, however. Mitland McDonagh of TV Guide said, "In a world filled with crude movie sitcoms, Berg's bitter, worst-possible-case scenario really does stand alone."[

[Marshall]

Death of a President (2006 film)

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Jump to: navigation, search
Death of a PresidentDirected byGabriel RangeProduced byGabriel Range
Simon Finch
Ed Guiney
Robin GutchWritten byGabriel Range
Simon FinchStarringHend Ayoub
Brian Boland
Becky Ann BakerMusic byRichard HarveyCinematographyGraham SmithEditing byBrand ThumimStudioBorough FilmsDistributed byOptimum (UK DVD)
Newmarket Films (U.S.)Release date(s)10 September 2006 (Toronto Film Festival)
9 October 2006 (UK TV)
27 October 2006 (U.S.)Running time93 minutesCountryUnited KingdomLanguageEnglish, ArabicBudget$2,000,000[1]Gross revenue$869,352[2]Death of a President is a 2006 British high concept motion picture about the fictional assassination of George W. Bush, the 43rd U.S. President, on 19 October 2007 in Chicago, Illinois. The film is presented as a future history mockumentary and uses actors, archival video footage as well as computer-generated special effects to present the hypothetical aftermath the event had on civil liberties, racial profiling, journalistic sensationalism and foreign policy.
Contents

[hide]

• <LI class="toclevel-1 tocsection-1">1 Plot <LI class="toclevel-1 tocsection-2">2 Cast <LI class="toclevel-1 tocsection-3">3 Production
  • <LI class="toclevel-2 tocsection-4">3.1 Filming
  • 3.2 Music
  <LI class="toclevel-1 tocsection-6">4 Response
  • <LI class="toclevel-2 tocsection-7">4.1 Reception
  • 4.2 Awards
  <LI class="toclevel-1 tocsection-9">5 Release
  • <LI class="toclevel-2 tocsection-10">5.1 Television <LI class="toclevel-2 tocsection-11">5.2 Box office
  • 5.3 Home media
  <LI class="toclevel-1 tocsection-13">6 See also <LI class="toclevel-1 tocsection-14">7 References
• 8 External links

[edit] Plot

Broadcast in the year 2008, the film is presented in a TV documentary style format, combining talking head interviews, news coverage clips and video surveillance footage surrounding the assassination of U.S. President George W. Bush in Chicago around a year earlier on 19 October 2007. The president is fatally shot by a sniper after he addresses an economic forum at the Chicago Sheraton Hotel, before which an anti-war rally had taken place. News outlets immediately begin reporting on the incident along with its political ramifications. After authorities earlier arrest and interrogate war-protesting detainees such as Frank Molini (Jay Whittaker) and Samir Masri (Seena Jon); an IT professional of Syrian origin, Jamal Abu Zikri (Malik Bader), becomes the prime suspect.
Vice President Dick Cheney, now president, uses the possible al-Qaeda relationship in connection with the suspected assassin, Zikri, to push his own domestic political security agenda. He calls for the legislation of PATRIOT Act III, trying to increase the investigative powers of the FBI, the police, and other government agencies over U.S. citizens and resident aliens as he contemplates attacking Syria.
As his wife Zahra (Hend Ayoub) listens to the verdict with family attorney Dawn Norton (Patricia Buckley) in a packed courtroom, Zikri is convicted of killing the U.S. President and sentenced to death based upon dubious forensic evidence. Meanwhile, a new report which surfaces, substantiated by interviews with Marianne Claybon (Chavez Ravine), indicates that the perpetrator is most likely her husband Al Claybon (Tony Dale), a veteran of the 1991 Persian Gulf War, who lived in Rock Island, Illinois, and who also was the father of David Claybon, a U.S. soldier recently killed in the Iraq War. The assassin, who blames President Bush for the death of his son, killed himself after Bush's assassination. Claybon's suicide note, addressed to a second son, Casey Claybon (Neko Parham), an Iraq War veteran living in Chicago who was previously considered as a suspect, reads:
“Everything I stood for and raised you to stand for has turned bad. There's no honor in dying for an immoral cause. For lies. I love my country, but I love God, and the sons He gave me even more. I must do the right thing by you and by David. George Bush killed our David, and I cannot forgive him for that.”Ten months after President Bush's assassination, Zikri remains on death row at the Stateville Correctional Center, because government officials are deliberately delaying his legal appeal. Moreover, in his dead father's Rock Island house, Casey Claybon finds evidence of his father's planning of the shooting. The most incriminating piece of evidence is a copy of a top secret presidential itinerary outlining, to the minute, President Bush's Chicago whereabouts on 19 October 2007. The news report ends while the U.S. Government continues investigating how presidential assassin Al Claybon obtained that top secret document.
The final closing titles of the film inform the viewer that President Cheney's USA PATRIOT Act III, was signed into permanent law in the U.S., stating the following: "It has granted investigators unprecedented powers of detention and surveillance, and further expanded the powers of the executive branch".

[pjorourke]

So Marshall, when did you learn to copy & paste web pages.

A comment and a link might be more useful.