Sugar Daddy/ Sugar Baby Dating

[Guest070818-1]

Originally Posted by Seeker

Don't have the time to read all this thread, but just an FYI. Many sugar daddys subscribe to eccie and 411 just for screening purposes. In the SB/SD world there are no reviews..it's totally separate from the escort world. If you are a provider switching to SB then you should erase all your history, if that's possible.

Some go UTR.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by JayceeRivers

I know I promised to leave the subject alone however I was requested to revisit. I warred with this request because I quite hate going back on my word. However He made a very good point about revisiting and several good point's in his post. So here I am. Again.

"An important point I would make in her comment here is that what I believe a true SB/SD relationship entails makes it the closest possible correlation to a "normal" relationship that a man can have with a woman where there is some agreed financial component. Nothing else comes close."

You and I both agree on this definition. In the terms of how I personally view a SD/SB relationship this was/is my personal view. My statement was meant only to allow others personal views to be acknowledged and validated. I may not agree with their definition personally but feel it is important to allow them their own view and individual relationship definitions.

"Each giving something to the other in excess. Excess? Why excess? Consider the word sugar for a moment. Sweet, unnecessary and once considered rare. Yes many years ago but work of that premise."

I think of excess as going the extra mile. I have spent years hearing about normal relationships. About women not taking the time to consider the needs of her husband or boyfriend and of course vise versa. I have seen the lull that befalls these couples when they stop doing all of the little things. This is what I meant by excess. It's that extra phone call. That naughty picture taken randomly. The painting that was worked on for a month to show that he(or she) was always in the forefront of the others thoughts. On her end it is being able to drop everything and go to him at his whim (within reason) and attend his needs. It's that extra thoughtful gift that cost no more than a dollar he picked up because it reminded him of her. Its taking her to the art museum that particular weekend because he knows her favorite artist is in town. None of these things are required. They are not a necessity in a relationship. They are excess. They are going above and beyond. She learns that one bedroom trick because he always wanted to try it. He gave her ballet lessons because as a child she dreamed of being a ballerina. LOL! Or perhaps he has always wanted to bang a chick on point with one foot stright up in the air!

Better? I do not think so... I am still not sure I even believe a provider can be one although I am willing to hear more from you on the subject....."

You are absolutely right here. This was me overextending and being over enthusiastic. I have heard so many displeased stories of potential sugar daddies finding the non sex industry woman unwilling to or reluctant to return favors. They resist the bedroom and when they get there they are not particularly good at it. They treat their SD like a husband and become jealous of his eyes potentially wandering or suddenly wanting more commitment on his end. So I concede to the fact that my view might be tainted by my experience being with gentlemen that had bad experiences themselves. I firmly and strongly feel it is the sugar baby's duty to return equally what she is given. With attention, desire, adoration, appreciation and... well you read my post. To hear this is not returned frustrates me. I cannot bring myself to say most providers can make better sugar babies. I meant more of a select sort can exceed your expectations if you find the right ones. Perhaps I simply am seeing the world with a set of blinders. I want to believe the best in people and I have always been particularly defensive of providers for the simple reason that more often than not it seems they are held in a cage of "cannots" They cannot be anything but a provider, They are lying thieves waiting to take advantage of you. Cold hearted money hungry women who care only for their next big cash target. This stigma is a arrow I take to heart every time I see it or hear it. I would like to believe I am a good person. That I understand and even practice the difference when I am a sugar baby and when I am a provider. I don't feel a "money for the hour" itch when I am with a sugar daddy. I want to believe others can doff that cumbersome thought process as well. It would be refreshing to know so but having met many from this side of the fence I can't say that I have before you here.... First time for everything I guess!

But in the back of EVERY man's mind is the knowledge that she is in fact a Performance Artist that has learned that role. The sex with a SB is often a bit awkward at first but when the two connect can surpass many other connections....

I concede to this. Yes I have seen this more often than not. But like anything else time and trust may eventually alleviate this fear. At least sometimes and I always hope. I firmly believe in and council girls that wish to go this route to cultivate trust. Do what it takes to earn this trust even if it is uncomfortable. It is in his hands after that to trust in his own bedroom skills and know that if she was not liking something she would help guide him to what she did like.

Yes the drawback is she may be tainted by the money mindset. "May" is not remotely the accurate word..... I've never met a provider that could set aside what she had learned the value of her time could be......

That is my real name. I don't hide it by the way. Nice to meet you. Now you have met a provider who can and has set aside the learned value for time mentality. If examples are required I would happily offer them. I am not at this moment because I feel it is too heavily defensive of my personal case and I am attempting more so to simply crack the door to the potential of possibility. Not ask you to step through it or defend my own personal self.

Your sugar baby is a very lucky woman and more so a very good woman. I am very happy for you. You are also very exceptionally generous to her. You are the true definition of a sugar daddy and she sugar baby. No money exchanges hands. You are there for her and she for you. It is rare to find a woman that you can trust in the way I have come to trust her. I have found that more trust given in many cases can yield a much more responsible attitude. The entire process is give and take with each side needing to build that trust.

I have seen this and IMO this is an area that a SD needs to actually mentor and groom the lady in..... done right he can create the perfect partner...."

I counter with this. Yes a normal girl can be mentored and tailored but so can a provider if you find one open to learning. Just like you need to find a normal girl open to amending her side and perspective. Though I would personally prefer if my partner did no try to groom me in a manner that changed who I was, I have always thought no matter the woman (including myself) there is always room for improvement and refinement. No rock is every fully polished. Even a perfectly cut and polished diamond needs cleaned every now and again.


Escorts value their time by the Hour
Strippers value their time by the "Shift"
Sugar Babies typically do not place a value on their time..... They find value in not only the financial security it might bring but also in the overall experience they are given and security they feel.....

MOST escorts value their time by the hour
MOST strippers value their time by the shift
Not all. Absolutes are evil things.

I agree... A bad choice of words on my part

They demand all things remain in their perspective place. Poor stay poor. For it is their place to be poor. Escorts only value their time by the hour. They could be nothing more than an escort. They would never make good wives, sugar babies, or girlfriends by this definition. I do believe they have to set this mind set aside. I am not saying it is easy or in abundance. I concede to it's rarity. However, finding the right escort you may find yourself surprised at the added benefits. I am not soliciting you by the way. Merely debating my point. I would be arrogant to think I am the only provider that can be a sugar baby ( and quite self absorbed)

A few years back, before fully immersing myself in the SD/SB worldt, I met and became enamored with a local provider and thought long and hard about going against all my personal experiences and making her an offer to take her off the market..... We had been having very enjoyable client/provider relationship with greatly modified rates and she was tiring of the game....... We did not get there and I will not go into the story but it was one of about a half dozen times I got involved with a provider.....

I think the biggest problem most men have with being involved with a provider is the insecurity in THEIR minds that comes from being with a woman that really does not need you.


lastly
I will have to continue to believe that a Provider turned SugarBaby is as believable as Abominable Snowmen, Big Foot and that Cops can't lie when entrapping you.....

I do not ask you to find a provider and make her your sugar baby or even promote that a provider can be a sugar baby. All I ask is you open the window to the idea that it is not as impossible as a abominable snow man. As each human being is unique it is up to the individual. My story is mine and once I was no more than a provider. I held tightly to the mindset. I held tightly to it because there was a structure of what it meant to be to be a provider and one must adhere to this structure. Sadly I am far to stubborn to hold to being told what I must do for too long. I am not better than a provider, I am not better than a sugar baby or a house wife or anyone else. I however refuse to adhere to the structure of what I am suppose to be. I would like to believe the only boundary and hindrance to what I can be is the boundary I place myself. I realized the boundary of the money for the hour mindset and also realized that even as a provider it was taking away from potentially beautiful and fulfilling experiences. Though as a provider I cannot fully remove the structure of the hour I can choose to ignore the clock should that hour come to an end. Just as I can easily separate a sugar daddy from a client. In my perspective a sugar daddy is more like a relationship. A "boyfriend" without the destination of marriage. A sugar daddy is much like getting on a train without a end destination in mind. I know at some point I will get of this train or be asked to leave but in the meanwhile the world is open and beautiful. I see the beauty of things I may not have been able to before. I have someone who will "rescue" me should I be in need and in return I can find and fulfill the needs of my conductor. If I get lucky I walk away with memories that will leave me breathless and a better person. If I am not lucky I still enjoyed the ride one way or another.

By rescue I would like to clarify that it does not necessarily mean monetary rescue. Rescue can mean being rescued from tedium or boredom. Rescued from an ignorant view or lack of knowledge. Rescued can mean a trip to the dentist or simply a cup of coffee out on a bad day.

Thank-you for the public reply. I think there are those in the community that can learn from your views just as I hope there are those that take away something useful in mine.

I have been very close minded on this subject for a long time and although I cannot say at this moment my views have changed you have presented your opinions in such a manner that I cannot simply discount them as I tend to do most others.... well ALL others is probably more accurate....

I am used to reading these threads and shaking my head convinced that none of the ladies and most of the guys are clueless to what the SB/SD relationships entail.... Much of that justified by the constant focus of the female posters on money and the males supporting them as they posture in hopes of gaining their attention.....

You are a very unique lady Ms. Rivers.... And after just now visiting your website and seeing many things I would have have found interesting should our paths have crossed.... I can say that I would probably have allowed you to sway my views in person at some point in time......

Once again Thank-you for returning to express your views in the thread. You can expect, as I come across the next one of these, for me to bring it to your attention as I am sure there is more for us to learn from the way you present your views......

and as you stated.... they are hard for you to resist!

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by mm-good

Huge thanks to Jaycee and Whispers for an excellent dialog and for conveying your perspectives on this topic in such an open and mutually respectful way!

shhhhhhhhh... Please do not repeat that in other places.... I have a reputation for being a rude and opinionated uncompromising misogynistic asshole I need to protect!

[Seeker]

Can someone summarize, I'm lost.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Seeker

Can someone summarize, I'm lost.

Sugar Baby's receive outrageous amounts of money and gifts and Sugar Daddy's need to be ready to pay!
Rarely. Most don't. It's about something else.
Yes. It is.


Providers make for excellent Sugar Babies.
No. They don't
But.......
OK. Maybe JayceeRivers could but not any others.


Other than the whore pretending to be a courtesan trashing the lady that disagreed with her and a lot of posturing by guys hoping to get a little attention.... I think that about covers it......
Oh Yeah..... I Almost forgot... GotYour6 is a little blunt at times and as such unappreciated here...........Most are not seeking the truth...... He prefers to tell it like it is.... I haven't decided if the "courtesan" is clueless or posturing for 6....


There...... NOW it's properly summarized....

[Seeker]

Whispers I'm impressed. You should write a book about all this craziness

[siberia]

Originally Posted by Whispers

Sugar Baby's receive outrageous amounts of money and gifts and Sugar Daddy's need to be ready to pay!
Rarely. Most don't. It's about something else.
Yes. It is.


Providers make for excellent Sugar Babies.
No. They don't
But.......
OK. Maybe JayceeRiverscould but not any others.


Other than the whore pretending to be a courtesan trashing the lady that disagreed with her and a lot of posturing by guys hoping to get a little attention.... I think that about covers it......
Oh Yeah..... I Almost forgot... GotYour6 is a little blunt at times and as such unappreciated here...........Most are not seeking the truth...... He prefers to tell it like it is.... I haven't decided if the "courtesan" is clueless or posturing for 6....


There...... NOW it's properly summarized....

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Seeker

Whispers I'm impressed. You should write a book about all this craziness

Reserve your copy now for $19.95 at www.BeHerDaddy.com

well.... maybe not now.... give me a day or two....

Truthfully though..... I learned a lot from another member here as well as the SugarDaddy forum..... There is a wealth of information there for anyone to embrace...

[siberia]

Originally Posted by Whispers

Reserve your copy now for $19.95 at www.BeHerDaddy.com

well.... maybe not now.... give me a day or two....

Truthfully though..... I learned a lot from another member here as well as the SugarDaddy forum..... There is a wealth of information there for anyone to embrace...

Exactly.

[JayceeRivers]

Thank-you for the public reply. I think there are those in the community that can learn from your views just as I hope there are those that take away something useful in mine.

I have been very close minded on this subject for a long time and although I cannot say at this moment my views have changed you have presented your opinions in such a manner that I cannot simply discount them as I tend to do most others.... well ALL others is probably more accurate....

I am used to reading these threads and shaking my head convinced that none of the ladies and most of the guys are clueless to what the SB/SD relationships entail.... Much of that justified by the constant focus of the female posters on money and the males supporting them as they posture in hopes of gaining their attention.....

You are a very unique lady Ms. Rivers.... And after just now visiting your website and seeing many things I would have have found interesting should our paths have crossed.... I can say that I would probably have allowed you to sway my views in person at some point in time......
I would not be opposed to a cup of coffee should you ever be my way. Though as I said before I was/am most certainly not attempting to attract you as my own personal future sugar daddy. I find your intellectual presentations both illuminating and interesting so an in person conversation, I am sure, would be very enjoyable.

Once again Thank-you for returning to express your views in the thread. You can expect, as I come across the next one of these, for me to bring it to your attention as I am sure there is more for us to learn from the way you present your views......

and as you stated.... they are hard for you to resist!


LOL! Or perhaps he has always wanted to bang a chick on point with one foot stright up in the air!
This was taken from my own personal history. As a child I had always dreamed of being a ballerina. Circumstances did not allow me the ability to even hold this fantasy let alone pursue it. Being able to fulfil this as an adult will always be one of my most fondest memories. It was probably one of the most touching, personal, and intimate of gifts anyone could have given me.

A few years back, before fully immersing myself in the SD/SB worldt, I met and became enamored with a local provider and thought long and hard about going against all my personal experiences and making her an offer to take her off the market..... We had been having very enjoyable client/provider relationship with greatly modified rates and she was tiring of the game....... We did not get there and I will not go into the story but it was one of about a half dozen times I got involved with a provider.....

I think the biggest problem most men have with being involved with a provider is the insecurity in THEIR minds that comes from being with a woman that really does not need you.
There are complications on both sides. I will say this though. More often than not there is something the man is giving the provider her clients cannot. As a sugar daddy, boyfriend, or husband he is giving her the liberty to be herself in whole. She can have a bad day. She can cry on his shoulder. She can divulge her past, her present and her dreams of the future freely without fear of a "bad review" She can be a real person. With a client she is expected to present perfection or as close to as possible. With you she can simply be who she is. The good bad and ugly. This may not seem like much but it is the world most days. Every woman needs to feel accepted for all that she is. Keep in mind that in the back of her mind he may simply like her for her body and the bedroom only. The biggest fear most women keep tucked away is that she is unlovable outside of the bedroom. As a sugar daddy, boyfriend, or husband or even simple friend, she is reassured she can be liked and enjoyed for more than a simple romp in the hay.

Of course I do not wish to delve too much into my personal private life or yours this publicly. Perhaps someday, should fate be inclined, we can see about that cup of coffee and swap some stories.

On a side note, There are many website from a sugar babies perspective on how to be a sugar baby but few if none that articulately and accurately present a sugar daddies point of view. I would fully support you doing a website to advise potential sugar babies and sugar daddies.

[Gotyour6]

Most women have pretty woman syndrome.

They look at the lifestyle of the less than one percent of a sugar daddy.

My three year relationship was profiled on a talk show as well as CNN.

Although I refused to do an on camera interview (For her privacy due to we work for the same company) they wanted my information because they said we are the epitome of what a sugar relationship is suppose to be.

So despite my abrupt way of speaking and my "I don't give a fuck" attitude I find that many girls prefer the way I handle things and I make it so they are NOT dependent on me. They think they are at first and then I correct that and make them dependent on themselves.

In the beginning she got an apartment, car, furnishings, allowance, I got her a fog for Christmas two years ago, shopping trips, trips to Japan, China, Russia, etc..

Now she has her own job at 21 years old making 41,00 a year. She said she owes it all to me and I say it was all her, I just pointed her in the direction she needs to go.

She was never a hooker, I never met her online and we have a great relationship now.
If you tell me to stop giving her money I will tell you I already have years ago and yes, she still wants to be with me.

You can believe anything you want about me, as I said before, I don't care. Really, I don't.

All I can tell you is that if you think you are going to still hook while being a suage baby it wont last long as your life as a sugar baby. You are both fooling yourself.

If you think you are going to find a daddy, I doubt it. They find you and unless he is 80 years old you wont be 40. The odds as you get older decrease. I know, there are exceptions to all rules but you get the point.

If you are seeing a guy and he takes you to dinner before you end up in bed he is just doing that.

I can go on and on about what a daddy does but why bother, I am talking to a bunch of Johns and hookers and unless you have been in it you will never get it.

[NikkiSecrets]

Hmm never tried the sugar daddy/sugar baby thang. But I'm always open to trying new things. Any suga daddios on this site? (I have yet to see any that I know of) I have no problem with longer term arrangements just never came across anyone who sticks around!

Xoxo
Nikki

[Gotyour6]

Lol, we like girls that know how to read.

[NikkiSecrets]

What exactly are you meaning by that? I honestly read the first part of the thread, skimmed through and jumped I'm with my opinion.

[Gotyour6]

Originally Posted by NikkiSecrets

skimmed through and jumped I'm with my opinion.

You just answered your own question with this statement.