Relationships Beyond The Hobby

[Sisyphus]

Originally Posted by pjorourke

Well it wasn't my relationship, but I know of one. There was an HDH lady I saw a couple of times and wrote a very brief review about on another Board. I guy I knew (via boards) read the review and started seeing her. They hit it off, she quit the biz and they got married. I heard a few months ago that they were on one of those Real Estate shows (I think it was International House Hunters) buying a vacation place together. I saw it. They seemed pretty happy together.

I don't know why...but that makes me laugh. Good for them!!

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by pjorourke

Well it wasn't my relationship, but I know of one. There was an HDH lady I saw a couple of times and wrote a very brief review about on another Board. A guy I knew (via boards) read the review and started seeing her. They hit it off, she quit the biz and they got married. I heard a few months ago that they were on one of those Real Estate shows (I think it was International House Hunters) buying a vacation place together. I saw it. They seemed pretty happy together.

Awwww, PJ, you've got a future as a matchmaker.

[pjorourke]

Its a gift.

[Marshall]

Originally Posted by ninasastri

i just love fisting a man :-)

I'm not surprised.....that is more cubic zirconia than diamond......

[Tiffani Jameson]

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

If he sees you as a prostitute, you will also see him as a client.

I don't agree with this at all. You can't help how you feel about a person, no matter how you meet them. When he has the expectation of a traditional relationship i.e. she stops escorting and he does his best to meet her needs, and she thinks that she's found someone who accepts what she does, that's when it doesn't work out. It's not that she still sees him as a client, but as a person to share her life with. Escorting just happens to be her life.

Most men have this traditional mindset. When they invest their feelings in a working girl, they expect to be all she needs. Some ladies have skills to do other things for money, and they shouldn't want to have sex with anyone else. So why would she still pursue this line of work when he's trying to make an honest woman of her?

It takes two to tango. But with no rhythm you step on each others toes. It's not just the man's fault. It's not just the woman's fault.

I agree with this. Sometimes it's just a mismatch. There are men who are swingers and poly amorous who are better suited for women in this line of work who expect to stay in it. There are also women in this line of work who wouldn't do this if they had the right man. But to meet a man who doesn't judge you for your past or present in this industry is truly a gem...

It's best not to dance at all.

You've got to stop with the troll statements. You know this isn't healthy...

[Guest083011]

Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson

he's trying to make an honest woman of her?

Why wasn't she "honest" before? If anything she is completely honest as she gets paid as a sex worker. Perhaps she isn't telling grandma at Christmas time "hey Grammy wanna see my blog about BJs?" I think that in the ladies I have seen, there is a frankness about our engagement and it is damned honest. Perhaps the word would be "a legal woman" since with the exception of Nevada, our "playground" does violate law(s) across the country. Granted I drive over the limit too so I ain't no angel.

[Guest042611]

I have two friends who are in serious relationships with ex-clients. One was only an escort for a few weeks at most, and met a guy early on who she really liked. She had some major financial problems and he supports her now; she quit working a few weeks after they met. They've been together over a year.

The other fell in love with an unhappily married client, and became his mistress. She continued to work for about a year after they met, then retired. I haven't heard from her in months. Hopefully he is divorced by now or on his way to getting divorced. In both cases though, I think the women saw escorting as a short-term adventure, and were happy to give it up for love. Both of the men insisted that they quit work.

I know one other escort who is dating an ex-client and still working, but I think it's been pretty hard on their relationship. It seems like many clients have more traditional relationship expectations, at least from what I've seen.

[Tiffani Jameson]

Originally Posted by SR Only

Why wasn't she "honest" before? If anything she is completely honest as she gets paid as a sex worker. Perhaps she isn't telling grandma at Christmas time "hey Grammy wanna see my blog about BJs?" I think that in the ladies I have seen, there is a frankness about our engagement and it is damned honest. Perhaps the word would be "a legal woman" since with the exception of Nevada, our "playground" does violate law(s) across the country. Granted I drive over the limit too so I ain't no angel.

You know I meant that in the traditional/socialized sense of the statement, not even really meaning marriage. And I agree with you wholeheartedly. This is meant to be liberating for all parties involved. I know it is for me...

But you have to admit it takes a very open-minded man to accept a woman that is an escort, and not be threatened by her continuing to escort during the relationship. I've heard it being compared to having a cheating man. She can't make him stop, the only thing they both can hope is that his conscience tells him to stop before his woman is fed up. With an escort, all she can hope is that if she feels like she doesn't have to stop escorting to make him happy that her mate agrees, and doesn't change his mind midstream.

[69er]

It can happen, and does. Like most relationships, only a small percentage ever pass the test. I've posted on this several times in the past, so here is a previous post: http://eccie.net/showthread.php?p=833376#post83 3376

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by Natalie

The other fell in love with an unhappily married client, and became his mistress. She continued to work for about a year after they met, then retired. I haven't heard from her in months. Hopefully he is divorced by now or on his way to getting divorced.

ah the standard routine ;-). Aren`t they all unhappily married pursuing a divorce ...... lol ........:-) Isn`t that what all monogamous mistresses hope for? Is he at least supporting her financially? Or does he get the goodies for free on top of the soap story of how unhappy he is in his marriage?

[NinaBrooke]

Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson

But you have to admit it takes a very open-minded man to accept a woman that is an escort, and not be threatened by her continuing to escort during the relationship. I've heard it being compared to having a cheating man. She can't make him stop, the only thing they both can hope is that his conscience tells him to stop before his woman is fed up. With an escort, all she can hope is that if she feels like she doesn't have to stop escorting to make him happy that her mate agrees, and doesn't change his mind midstream.

You`re right, that adds up to my previous statement of the fact that all (or most) clients are burgeouise, because the open minded ones don`t need to book escorts mostly. I am not generalizing, its just that 90% off the clients are like that. So a relationship means the woman adapts to the burgeoiuse mindest, and most often that does not work.
The cases where it did work is with - as you said - bohemian men. Transgressing boarders is not easy. There is a reason why they are there..:-)

[Sensia]

You know after reading all this, truth is, it isn't just women or men in the hobby who have difficulty maintaining a relationship. It is everyone out there in or out of the hobby. Long term relationships seem to be a very "rare" occurrence these days, and with divorce being so high, and people not wanting to do what it truly takes to work out kinks in a relationship and roll with the punches it is not surprising anymore.

I hate the fact that so many men on the escort boards want to point to women in the industry as somehow "damaged goods" or someone with a lot of baggage. There are just as many men who fit these descriptions as well. In fact I would say it is more common to see men with "baggage" so to speak in the hobby than it is with the women.

[WTF]

Originally Posted by Guilty Pleasures

In fact I would say it is more common to see men with "baggage" so to speak in the hobby than it is with the women.

I think it is equal.

We all have baggage.

We just have/want more Louie Vuitton at the carousel than your average traveler.

[Sisyphus]

Originally Posted by WTF

I think it is equal.

We all have baggage.

We just have/want more Louie Vuitton at the carousel than your average traveler.

Beat me to it!!! I agree. We're all a little "out there" just for being here. If a couple of folks wanna have a go @ transcending what's supposed to be going on here...they have to be prepared to cut each other a little more "slack" than the "average relationship" [whatever the hell THAT even is anymore]

Do so...& they've got as good a shot as any two other folk. Don't do so....doneski! Only question is when & why...

[WTF]

Originally Posted by Sisyphus

Beat me to it!!! I agree. ...

You agreeing with me? Holy chit! There is a God.

Happy couples put their self in their spouses shoes and try an understand bad behaviour the article below states.


Now if we can just get Rudyard to put himself in others shoes we would have a happier forum!



http://blogs.webmd.com/art-of-relati...that-last.html


An important question that naturally arises from this number is what are those who remain happy together doing right?
All marriages have their ups and downs; all people have their strengths and weaknesses; and all couples have areas of disagreement. But those who remain happy manage to view their relationship through a positive lens. They see the parts of their marriage that are most positive as the parts that are essential. However, most importantly, they are flexible about this. As the positive and negative aspects of their relationship shift with time, so does their judgment about what is essential — but they always focus on the most positive aspects in the moment.
Along with this positive perspective, they view their spouse’s problems, imperfections, or annoying habits in a way that neutralizes their impact. One approach they use is viewing these things in a benevolent way. For instance, a wife might understand her husband’s snapping as the result of a hard day instead of thinking of him as just being disrespectful. Such positive attributions help relationships to remain stable and supportive.