Sugar Daddy/ Sugar Baby Dating

[Solitaire]

Originally Posted by Whispers

Apt $500
Elec $55
Water $25
Cable and Internet $55
Gas $100
Insurance $85
Cell Phone $60
Groceries $400

Grand Total for TOTAL Support of a 19yo Sophomore at TSU $1,280 a month

That yielded 3 days/nights a week and at least 1 weekend a month at my side or in the bed.... MANY overnights......

That was the MOST expensive exclusive relationship I've had in the last 4 years in regards to my total commitment to a girl........

Who are you guys trying to impress here talking about such out of wack committments?

So, are we to understand that you keep your ladies naked (no clothing budget), unkempt (no hair/nails budget), living in the hood (most decent rents avg. around 7-800/month or more), hoofing it (no car note)... nor any gifts or little sweet nothings. Not to mention that since there is no budget for tuition/books, she'd eventually have to drop out of school, I see her time spent with you as a major step down rather than up, or even maintaining status quo. At least she seems to eat well, hopefully she can cook... or make a sammich.

Like I stated before, this is *sugar* dating... where is your sugar? Those other guys aren't trying to impress anyone, they just value ladies enough to not merely throw them a few crumbs.

[Solitaire]

Originally Posted by Whispers

If there is an "hourly rate" involved a man has a whore on his elbow. Dress her up and teach her to say flowery things but she remains a whore. Hourly rates are not something that exists in a SD/SB relationship....

Do not kid yourself... even a woman in divorce court is sitting there averaging out what she's getting verses the time spent, to see if it was even worth it.

Men do the same, regardless of relationship structure.

Smart people work this math on the front end.

[Solitaire]

I find this to be a beautiful description. The root motivation being generosity, and mutual benefit.

Originally Posted by TGBeldin

Too bad this thread has drifted off the topic somewhat. I found the first few pages interesting. I have a SB who I first saw when she was escorting. Neither of us knew there were hard and fast "rules" for what a SB or SD does so we felt our way, literally and figuratively. I find some of the opinions here describe our arrangement while others do not.

Anyone here play pinochle? I enjoy the game and have played it all across the world. Every local has local variants of the rules. I learned very quickly that I needed to clarify the house rules every time I sat down at the table, even though I had a copy of Hoyle with me. But whatever the local rules, the game was essentially the same.

So I see it with a SB/SD relationship. I provide her an allowance, I bought her a car when her old one died, I have opened doors and do other things to assist with her career. In exchange she does things for me. Clocks and fees are never a consideration, nor are X meetings a week or month. What we do on a given meeting depends only on what we decide to do. We talk a few times a week or more. She will text me and ask my opinion on whether the blue blouse or the red one looks better. I will call her when I need someone to talk me out of strangling someone at work. We are some mix of friends, lovers, benefactor, protege, and likely a few more things. We travel often as I enjoy taking her with me on business trips when her schedule allows. We spend plenty of time together, but when we are apart we have our own lives. The arrangement has been mutually beneficial for over eight years and changes all the time. Part of the time she was escorting, part of the time she was a full time student, and now she has a career she is developing. What she did away from me did not impact what we did when we were together, other than it influenced the topics we might talk about. The time she was a full time student was more trying on our relationship much more than when she was escorting because she put so much time into her studies. I find it humorous that some of the people who expect a SB to be exclusive are themselves not.

When someone can show me the agreed upon binding definition of a SB or SD I might feel differently, but until then I am of the mind that each such arrangement is largely what the two people decide works for them. Or if the "official" decision becomes too onerous I'll just go back to calling her my mistress. People never seemed so fixated with defining that term.

[MsMochaLatta22]

Yes I posted an advertisement for a sugar daddy on CL and SA before wasted time on replies, dates, and money . HAD TO EXPLAIN SEVERAL TIMES SUGAR DADDY That means an allowance, or at least some kind of compensation. Shoes or jewelry could also work, but I think an allowance is probably simpler!
THEY ALWAYS launched into a rant about how they didn’t need to pay for sex! Arrogance and cockiness!
If I can get a regular that comes see me 1-3 times a week and bring me GIFTS
LIKE SARRIS chocolate and Wines!
Yeah! They can get my cookies and maybe more!

[sketchball82]

Originally Posted by Solitaire

So, are we to understand that you keep your ladies naked (no clothing budget), unkempt (no hair/nails budget), living in the hood (most decent rents avg. around 7-800/month or more), hoofing it (no car note)... nor any gifts or little sweet nothings. Not to mention that since there is no budget for tuition/books, she'd eventually have to drop out of school, I see her time spent with you as a major step down rather than up, or even maintaining status quo. At least she seems to eat well, hopefully she can cook... or make a sammich.

Like I stated before, this is *sugar* dating... where is your sugar? Those other guys aren't trying to impress anyone, they just value ladies enough to not merely throw them a few crumbs.

No offense intended Solitaire, but you seem to be under the impression that a sugar relationship implies some sort of minimum standard that the sugar baby does not have to work, gets smothered in gifts and compensation, and that the relationship is her job. With all respect, that seems to be the mentality of a provider.

SB/SD arrangements aren't "jobs." It is true that there are daddies that pay as if it were. But there are also babies that accept far far less than their worth. That is the basis of statistics; there are people outside of the middle group on both sides. In the case of sugar arrangements, I would assume that high paying daddies are either unfamiliar with market costs, love to throw their money around, or overbid because they were dead-set on one particular baby and wanted to ensure that she chose him as a daddy instead of any other potential competition. That being said, if our babies are having a hard time paying for their rent, are we supposed to give them a Prada bag (sugar as you call it) as they get evicted while they fail in their day-to-day responsibilities?

My point is that SD/SB relationships are just like any other economic service, subject to supply-and-demand and worth a economically determined amount. Some babies prefer "sugar" as you call it. Some babies prefer rent. Some babies want it all and believe that their worth 5 times or 10 times what the market says they're worth, and that's ok. But at the same time, we call that mentality GPS, and more than likely (unless that girl is truly unique and someone decides to overbid her because he's dead-set on her), she'll never find an arrangement when an equally hot girl living 200 years away will accept the standard arrangement.

As a side note, $600-$1kish per month is a reasonable arrangement at the moment. As such, Whispers is actually being quite generous in his arrangement.

[Kali Richards]

I have had great experiences. Def, would consider again

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Solitaire

So, are we to understand that you keep your ladies naked (no clothing budget), unkempt (no hair/nails budget), living in the hood (most decent rents avg. around 7-800/month or more), hoofing it (no car note)... nor any gifts or little sweet nothings. Not to mention that since there is no budget for tuition/books, she'd eventually have to drop out of school, I see her time spent with you as a major step down rather than up, or even maintaining status quo. At least she seems to eat well, hopefully she can cook... or make a sammich.

Like I stated before, this is *sugar* dating... where is your sugar? Those other guys aren't trying to impress anyone, they just value ladies enough to not merely throw them a few crumbs.

How much is a bottle of Ozarka Water worth to a man dying of thirst?

"Crumbs" are relative to where a man is shopping for a Baby. To a hooker turning tricks at $300 an hour I can see where a scenario as I described is represents "crumbs"

To a Coed on a scholarship that wants to focus on her studies but can't quite make ends meet without going into debt and having a job, Paying her total cost of living has far greater value than the dollars it represents. Same with a Single Mom trying to get on track. Now all the "extra" money from the scholarships and grants that is left over from tuition and books is sitting in her bank account and she is no longer penniless trying to stretch every penny until the funds from next semester roll in.

Finding a girl with a car provided by her parents is relatively easy.

A girl in the above scenario suddenly finds her self free of all financial worries for the remaining couple of years of school.

Personally... I was active Duty Military AS WELL as had a part time job while I went to college..... It was not remotely easy.

Finding a Baby is all about knowing as well as being able to fulfill her needs in a manner that she does not need or want anyone else.

A man that takes all that stress out of her life is seen as someone much more giving than someone that provided "crumbs"....

Originally Posted by Solitaire

So, are we to understand that you keep your ladies naked (no clothing budget)

Very few have the attire I like to see a girl in. I tend to send them shopping on occasion and build their wardrobe up over time.

Originally Posted by Solitaire

unkempt (no hair/nails budget)

I provide a card that I charge as needed for those things.

Originally Posted by Solitaire

living in the hood (most decent rents avg. around 7-800/month or more)

I have yet to meet a girl "living in the hood" The current GF lives in an upscale Apartment Community with roommates she grew up with. Communities like it exist around just about every major university. Her rent is less than $500 a month.

She has recently chosen an Internship that is near me and I will get her a place close by. We are over a year and a half in a relationship that left the SB stages but everything financial with her has been no different than if she was a SB.

Originally Posted by Solitaire

hoofing it (no car note)...

Nope..... I find most have cars. Usually newer and in better condition than the avg hooker.... Not every lady turning to Sugar Dating is without resources.

Originally Posted by Solitaire

nor any gifts or little sweet nothing

I am not sure where you get the impression that the financial COMMITTMENT I make equates to her not ending up rather spoiled in the long run. The key word's there are "in the long run".... In the beginning there is very little other than the COMMITMENT I make in exchange for the COMMITMENT they make. This is where the relationship between a SugarDaddy and a SugarBaby begin to go way differently than the avg Pay for Play. As a young lady proves herself to me over time I prove to be a very generous man. And the relationship evolves into something that is much different than what was agreed to. Money takes on far less meaning and is replaced by support that is not just financial in nature....

My guess is you are trying to apply notions of how you think it should be to something you don't understand.

Originally Posted by Solitaire

Not to mention that since there is no budget for tuition/books, she'd eventually have to drop out of school,

I tend to look for girls with potential that have proven themselves academically earning scholarships as well as have grants available to them. There are no shortage of highly attractive young ladies that have an education in place but can't support themselves why they get it.

Or Single Moms that want to go to school but can't take the time to do so because they cannot support themselves and the kiddo..... Taking over their daily expenses and teaching them how and where to get the funds to start school also yields extreme gratitude for very little financial commitment....

Originally Posted by Solitaire

I see her time spent with you as a major step down rather than up, or even maintaining status quo. At least she seems to eat well, hopefully she can cook... or make a sammich.

Luckily for me... and others...... They tend to see it differently I guess....

Then again.. as others have said...... the conversation in this thread is tainted by the whore and john mentality that does not understand why and how thousands of young ladies are turning to Sugar Dating to get an education and upon getting what they want are done and out of the lifestyle....

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by sketchball82

As a side note, $600-$1kish per month is a reasonable arrangement at the moment. As such, Whispers is actually being quite generous in his arrangement.

I WAS pretty generous at that time..... The example I provided was of the MOST expensive I've had in the last 4 years... Certainly not what has been averaged..... But at that time.... as you stated..... I overbid to get someone specific!

[siberia]

Whispers quoted
Then again.. as others have said...... the conversation in this thread is tainted by the whore and john mentality that does not understand why and how thousands of young ladies are turning to Sugar Dating to get an education and upon getting what they want are done and out of the lifestyle....

Exactly..

[Whispers]

A basic concept that most here fail to understand is that it is not all about money to most ladies involved in a "Sugar Baby" relationship......

Following is an excerpt from a text message between a 21yo I am seeing that describes her discussion with a cousin about what having me in her life has done for her... This is about 2 hours old....

"We had a super long conversation about you lol. I just told her about all the other things about you and why you mean so much to me and how much I've learned being with you and how you're so thoughtful and I told her about you taking me for my interview and helping me stay calm and prepping me and helping me dress for it and helping me build my credit and other stuff you do for me.

I also told her about all the other stuff we've done together stuff I probably wouldn't have had the opportunity of doing or even know about like the shows you take me to.... Sitting in the Front Row at Dirty dancing, and the The Evil Dead, Cats, the concert. How you arranged for me to not only see but meet Fluffy!!!!!

How special you made my 21st Birthday and the places you take me to dinner. The time you paid for all of my roommates and me to go to the fancy movie theatre.

She is in awe of how much you do for me"

The "crumbs" I provide a girl in regards to dollars are a small part of what a SB/SD relationship is about.

Is this particular girl worth far more than she knows? Absolutely. However in her reality what she gets is far more than she ever expected. And in reality..... Had she wanted more than my initial offer she would not be in my life now.

What few people understand in regards to "negotiations"......

Is that all ANYTHING is worth on ANY GIVEN DAY is what Person A is willing to accept that Person B is willing to provide.

If someone INSISTS that they are worth $5000 a month and month after month goes by with no one stepping up is she worth $5,000 a month? No.

When someone comes along and offers her $3000 and she accepts in month three her true value gets established. Although she just took a first year reduction of $24,000 after going 2 months with nothing. Odds are though that the gold digger mentality undermines the relationship in the long run....

Men serious about enriching a young ladies life are in far greater demand than attractive young ladies.....

A primary reason why these things seem to very seldom work for any woman that has been paid by the hour for sex or any man that thinks in that John mentality is that the ladies can't stick with it long enough to see the long term payoff.

Who is better off?

The 19yo Sophomore that accepts an arrangement worth less than $1300 a month that graduates college 2 years later with honors landing a decent job in the career field she chose that has not incurred a single dollar in additional debt along the way yet has a totally different wardrobe, jewlery and possessions she acquired along the way because of the trust she built in the relationship..... She's experienced dining and theatre she never would have if she was working the call center. She has never once felt like she was bought and paid for and considers the man that supported her more a mentor and friend than some lech.....

Or the Hooker that turns 8 $300 tricks a week, 40 weeks a year earning nearly 6 figures that drives an 8yo car she bought at a note lot and pays 3 times what it's worth and lives in some rat trap someone else had to sign for and only has next weeks tricks to look forward to?

The Sugar Baby never remotely thinks she is a whore......

Yet the whore thinks she can be a Sugar Baby?

Who is bettering their life?

From my experiences the girls working for "crumbs" tend to do much better than the ones that think they know what they are worth.

Feel free to continue to look down on these naive young ladies that are graduating and moving on in life to better things never looking back with distaste for the things they did to get where they wanted to be.

My experiences are not with HDH's or professional models seeking benefactors...... So none of what I have had to say relates to those types of ladies.....

My experiences that I share here and other places tend to be about young single moms and college coeds..... Which is where the vast majority of Sugar Babies tend to originate from according the sites themselves that build the audience that some men like myself tend to enjoy meeting.

[siberia]

I lived with my SD for 2 years, a big difference in an allowance situation.
The car was a gift for my birthday.
Depends on the situation.
Some SD's provide apartments,
lavished gifts, trips, etc.

[Solitaire]

Originally Posted by sketchball82

No offense intended Solitaire, but you seem to be under the impression that a sugar relationship implies some sort of minimum standard that the sugar baby does not have to work, gets smothered in gifts and compensation, and that the relationship is her job. With all respect, that seems to be the mentality of a provider.

SB/SD arrangements aren't "jobs." It is true that there are daddies that pay as if it were. But there are also babies that accept far far less than their worth. That is the basis of statistics; there are people outside of the middle group on both sides. In the case of sugar arrangements, I would assume that high paying daddies are either unfamiliar with market costs, love to throw their money around, or overbid because they were dead-set on one particular baby and wanted to ensure that she chose him as a daddy instead of any other potential competition. That being said, if our babies are having a hard time paying for their rent, are we supposed to give them a Prada bag (sugar as you call it) as they get evicted while they fail in their day-to-day responsibilities?

My point is that SD/SB relationships are just like any other economic service, subject to supply-and-demand and worth a economically determined amount. Some babies prefer "sugar" as you call it. Some babies prefer rent. Some babies want it all and believe that their worth 5 times or 10 times what the market says they're worth, and that's ok. But at the same time, we call that mentality GPS, and more than likely (unless that girl is truly unique and someone decides to overbid her because he's dead-set on her), she'll never find an arrangement when an equally hot girl living 200 years away will accept the standard arrangement.

As a side note, $600-$1kish per month is a reasonable arrangement at the moment. As such, Whispers is actually being quite generous in his arrangement.

No offense taken, Hon.

Actually *traditionally*, as in during my mom's generation, when those ladies said they had "found a Sugar-Daddy", there was the expectation that she would not have to work, devoting her time to be "on-call" for him. She may be in a mistress position to a wife, or a live-in GF, or independently housed, either way she would have been non-working and available.

My position on this - today it has evolved, but Sugar Daddies still provide a good bit of support - but the defining factor today is "mutually beneficial" - and today we are more open about what those benefits are.

HOWEVER, my reply to Whispers was because he, 1) mocked the guys who were averaging the general expense to around $5000/month, and 2) he gave figures claiming that was this poor girl's TOTAL SUPPORT... I simply called bullshit on it.

He responds to me after clarifying some things, and his clarification is sufficient... and we see that what he listed was NOT in fact this girls TOTAL support. My point has been made.

Just for perspective, back in the 80's, when my mom and her friends were dating in this fashion, those ladies were pulling in around $2-3000/month. I came of age in Sugar... and it wasn't Prada... in addition to basic necessities, it was my mom never having to tell me she didn't have money for school items/clothes, or that I couldn't go to the mall with my friends, etc. It meant she didn't have to worry about such things. And she had her hair/nails and pretty things too.

And as for me confusing it with with a job... ALL relationships are work, particularly for a woman! I am not confused about that in the least. I only require gentlemen to make it worth my while.

[Eva Damita]

Originally Posted by MsMochaLatta22

Yes I posted an advertisement for a sugar daddy on CL and SA before wasted time on replies, dates, and money . HAD TO EXPLAIN SEVERAL TIMES SUGAR DADDY That means an allowance, or at least some kind of compensation. Shoes or jewelry could also work, but I think an allowance is probably simpler!
THEY ALWAYS launched into a rant about how they didn’t need to pay for sex! Arrogance and cockiness!
If I can get a regular that comes see me 1-3 times a week and bring me GIFTS
LIKE SARRIS chocolate and Wines!
Yeah! They can get my cookies and maybe more!

CL is just full of guys seeking freebies, and is a waste of time.

Try actual SD sites, I've heard a few good things about SA .

I've had one TRUE SD and he was found via networking, not an ad lol.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Eva Damita

CL is just full of guys seeking freebies, and is a waste of time.

I have no doubt that there are guys seeking freebies on CraigsList

Try actual SD sites, I've heard a few good things about SA . Seeking Arrangement is no different. Men have learned that an investment of $60a month with a little game will yield them a lot of "free pussy".

I've had one TRUE SD and he was found via networking, not an ad lol.

I have had many babies over the years..... The last one that still is involved in my life I found with a CL ad. The one before her through a friend...... I've met many myself in day to day interactions as well as on the websites devoted to it.

[JayceeRivers]

I cannot resist answering sugar baby/sugar daddy threads. My Achilles heal when it comes to having an opinion.

I have said it before and will state again. There are no two alike. They are subjective to the individual. No one person is wrong in their unique vision. No more than any normal relationship is wrong in their desires. To one man a "hooker on demand" is a sugar baby. No another a desperate college student who is just looking for a no commitment tryst with a wealthy man is a sugar baby.

Not every arrangement entails car's, diamonds and trips to paris. The only common thread one can pluck from the varying definitions is "sugar" Each giving something to the other in excess. Consider the word sugar for a moment. Sweet, unnecessary and once considered rare. Yes many years ago but work of that premise.

The sugar baby gives her sugar daddy sugar in the form of adoration, physical passion, attention, time, compliments, and companionship. If he does not FEEL like the most desired man on the planet and luckiest guy on earth when he is with her, she is not doing her side. Her job is to make sure he feels appreciated, intelligent, funny, interesting and overall take away the stress of the rest of his world when he needs her to do so. This may involve her needing to take the time to text him throughout the week often. Talking to him on the phone. making sure she is available to him in person when he needs/wants her to be. Being conscious and thankful for the things he does do and not complain or demand when she wants more. Don't get me wrong if she feels she needs/wants more a delicate conversation to discuss her needs should be broached, however she should not be demanding or brash. A spoiled brat making demands does nothing to make anyone feel anything but used. She should not be another stress to his life.

The sugar daddy returns with financial support, often stroking her vanity, offering new experiences and even giving her gifts she would either not purchase for herself or cannot afford to do so. This can range from simply just getting to travel with him and nothing else, all the way to having all of her bills paid in full with an allowance on the side and gifts in between. From a helpful mentor to a lavish gift giver. If the sugar baby is struggling financially, looks or feels dilapidated, and/or is missing tons of work/school to be with him HE is not doing his job. She should feel secure enough that if she needs to take time off of working or her education at his behest that she will not struggle financially. No matter what her job is.

Can escorts/providers be sugar babies. Yes. In fact they may make better sugarbabys IF YOU DO YOUR RESEARCH. Her job does not cement her personality. Not all escorts/providers are money hungry evil women looking to get her next fix on some addictive substance. Not all wealthy men are generous, kind and gentlemanly. Just as not every woman can be a sugar baby not every man can be a sugar daddy.

Know what you want before you go out looking. If you want to be a sugar baby don't go in without knowing what you can give and what you need AND want from the situation. Be prepared to compromise to a certain extent and allow yourself to be you. Be friends, be lovers and confidants. Enjoy him for more than just the wallet or find another. As a sugar daddy be prepared to give materially. be understanding that she is a human being. She may get sick, have family problems, may simply have a bad day.

Why do I feel like SOME providers may make better sugar babies? Simply because likely she has a higher libido and is more interested in satisfying your physical needs as well as her own. She has had more experience satisfying gentlemen mentally, physically, and emotionally. She endeavors to make you feel good. She is far less likely to want to become your wife and step over boundaries that are set.

Yes the drawback is she may be tainted by the money mindset. example: "You are only giving me 1000 a month plus gifts but I spend 3 days a week with you at least. I can make 1000-3000 in those three days if I was seeing clients" That is the biggest fear that I see consistently regurgitated. I appreciate that fear. However understand that mind set is simply a fear of her own. After all it is usually the sugar daddy that does the moving on. What if she is completely reliant on him and then he finds a newer younger version? What if he gets bored? This fear particularly is seeded in those asked to be completely monogamous and/or stop working. The money mindset is easily overcome. Both parties simply need to be open and honest about what they want and need at the start. Be understanding about each others opinions and thoughts on the subject as well as limitations. Find a compromise that will allay both sets of fears. This may include allowing her to continue to escort and accept her chosen occupation with grace or bump up the anti. find a way to alleviate her fears. She may need to prove herself. I have had many sugar daddies throughout the years. One of the ways I have found to help alleviate his fears that I am lying or manipulating him for more money is, I get a bluebird card. a main one and a connecting student one. This way he can put in the card what he feels comfortable with AND monitor where I am spending this money. If I say I am paying a sprint bill with it, he can see I indeed paid that bill with the money he gave me. This helps build trust. As a sugar baby I go out of my way to avoid making it purely about monetary spending and receiving. Yes I am given gifts, money, and trips. However at the start I sit down and discuss what I want, what I expect and what he can expect from me in return. Aside from a quarterly check in to make sure we are both fulfilling our sides I do not ask for anything after that. I leave it in his hands and trust him to fulfill his promises just as he trusts me not to abuse his generosity.

A normal girl in the normal world may or may not be as inclined to be intuitive and try to please her partner. Specially if she is of the younger variety. She may produce more excuses to avoid the bedroom. Yes she is happier with the smaller arrangements but she is likely not going out of her way to know YOU. A normal girl can come with the drawbacks of falling in love and wanting more. She may be more inclined to be indecisive and unsure of what she wants. Her bedroom experience is likely not as developed. The upsides to the normal girls has been stated but for the sake of this long post I feel it necessary to add. She is not tainted by the money for the hour mindset. She is less likely to be sleeping with more than just you. Everything you do that is even moderate could be seen as the most amazing, mouth dropping, heart stopping gift she has ever received. She is often more appreciative. Less demanding. Of course that is not all normal girls. I knew a normal girl who was not an escort who once told me "if my boyfriend does not buy me jimmy choo and Armani he is not worth my time." She was very high maintenance.

The point of this long winded post is simple. If the sugar daddy to be wants a normal girl that does not make him wrong. If he just wants to pay her car payment and nothing else that is not wrong. If he wants to buy her a car and fly her to exotic places he is not wrong. No two arrangements are exactly alike. No two people are exactly the same. Not all escorts make bad sugar babies and not every normal woman makes a good sugar baby. It is as individual and unique as every other type of relationship one can fathom.