Quote:
Originally Posted by SoftPlaceToLand
I've used the dog plenty of times at Home. The problem is I have to be close to the dog. She's getting old and doesn't follow me around like she used too and the new dog just doesn't freaking fart. Ever.
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Reminds me of an old joke, (really old)
A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains she has practically make her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and every so gently lets out a very dainty fart. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.
Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, "Damn Rover!".
The woman thought, "This is great! He thinks it's the dog!". A big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let out a much louder and longer rrrrrip.
The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "Rover!". Once again the woman smiled and thought, "Yes! This is perfect!". A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time she didn't even think about it nor did she hold back. She ripped a fart so big and so loud that it made the windows vibrate.
Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Damn-it Rover get away from that woman before she shits on you!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redsan
In High School the first girl I had sex with would fart on
every stroke, we finally discovered that the sound was
coming from air being pushed out of her virgina and
was not her starfish. At a high school reunion while I
was dancing with her she ask me if I remembered,
we both laughed about it.
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That would be a "queef"...
queef (kweef) n.
the expulsion of air from a vagina after sexual intercourse, usually very fast-paced or deep intercourse, and most often resulting after the "doggy style" position, or variants of said position. queefs are known to have a "wet" sound, and can occur during intercourse, or after. queefs occur when an object, usually a penis, creates a vacuum of air inside the vagina, usually because of a certain angle or position, or because of use of a condom, and happen when the penis or object is removed or pushed deeper into the vagina. many think of queefs as a "sex interrupter" because females are usually embarrassed and males usually embarrassed or amused as the very unique and recognizable sound of a queef.
"Julia coughed loudly to drown out her queef as Brian pulled out"
-PT-
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