Demiland, love, and dating

[guest051510-1]

I've come to the conclusion that I could never be in an open relationship. Knowing my mate was with someone else would make me feel like this:
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2pzSFkNFZ0"]YouTube- The Killers - Mr. Brightside (plus video clip & lyrics)[/ame]

[Guest020510]

Originally Posted by discreetgent

Back to theory/practical: I do know that when I hear the phrase "they are in an open relationship" that to me it means they can sleep with other people.

Wherein lies the issue for many: its all about fucking? C'mon. Even Dubya can function and experience pleasure at that level.

[CajunGent]

I am reading this thread way later than I should have. But, I think that I understand what Lauren was saying in her earlier post regarding what many consider to be special dates, and how she handles those with her significant other (if she has one at the moment).

If I read between her postings correctly, I think that Lauren understands that special times and dates are created by two people, and their emotional desires for each other. Not by the number on a calander. To people who truly desire each other, every day can be valentines day. I once found myself kneeling between a ladies legs six months after her birthday, because that was what she told me she wanted, and when she wanted it. Birthday presents can and should happen on any day, anywhere, if she wants it. (and vice versa).

Life is good, enjoy each day.

Just my 2 cents from Cajun Land.

[guest041110]

Originally Posted by Nicolette Bordeauxva

I've come to the conclusion that I could never be in an open relationship. Knowing my mate was with someone else would make me feel like this:
YouTube- The Killers - Mr. Brightside

Colette, I agree with you about being in an open relatonship. While some may view me as hypocritical for being married while also being in the P4P realm, that was a different time for me and represents a part of me that is long dead. I could never share my mate with anyone for any reason nor would I want them to share me with anyone for any reason.

What Lauren has written, I understand. While I respect her opinion I don't necessarily agree with it and I know for a fact the way she chooses to live is not how I do. If I have someone in my life then that person gets me lock, stock and barrel with all of my flaws as well as my benefits while I expext the reverse as well. After being married for more than 20+ years and now divorced, I know what works for me and what does not.

[WTF]

Originally Posted by CajunGent

I once found myself kneeling between a ladies legs six months after her birthday, because that was what she told me she wanted, and when she wanted it. Birthday presents can and should happen on any day, anywhere, if she wants it. (and vice versa).

.

Sounds like she got her Birthday mixed up with yours!

Originally Posted by discreetgent

My guess is - and I have neither data to back it up nor the desire to do such a survey lol - that most people have the same understanding when hearing the phrase.

ROTHFLMAO.....you are probably right DG. But I was hoping to elevate the conversation past what most people think to what is actually happening. The fact from the fiction. Really look and see if there is all that much difference between one restriction and another. It really was not about Lauren....I have been around the block for quite a while and observed many of these type of relationships and in the end it all seems blurry! You can either take that explanation or leave it, either way I'll sell ya a ticket to the Camille/Niv drinkfest and buy you a drink if you promise to let me listen to those two brainiacs hash out life's pleasures!

[rrrabbit]

First off, I read much of this long thread, and I want to thank everyone for their input.

This thread, with your experiences, thoughts and genuine heartfelt feelings has inspired me to make my 1st post.

You see, I have been a member of the other board (r.i.p) for some years now, and I never felt the need to post a review or engage in discussions. Understandably, at many levles, and rightfully so, some would thus fault my behavior, as what makes this a valuable resource are the members' contributions, posts and reviews. Nevertheless, I've always felt that what I do BCD is my business, and I'd rather not discuss that w/ anyone but my partner.

But back on track.

1) again, thank you for sharing your thoughts - great read

2) Lauren - very impressive thought process and analytical skills; even though I don't agree w/ a couple of your observations, it's scary how smart u r; my hats off to you

3) I could write a whole book about falling for providers, or rather, providing for providers; but I best refrain and spare myself the agony of such ramblings. Most of us are adults here (I hope :-), and we all know that no matter what I or your mother advices, an adult will most likely do what feels right when it comes to matters of the heart w/ that special someone; so do it, and live with the consequences; dangling one's feet over a shark's mouth may be sacry and exhilarating at the same time, but it won't actually hurt until the bite is executed; lol

experience is a necessary ingredient for growth, and unfortunately it can be bitter from time to time.

Would you not agree that debate is all good, but in such matters, has little practical value ? ... but it can fun though, can't it ? :-)


4) Let's not kid ourselves; we are all providers - one way or another; I may not escort for a living, but I'm still a provider at so many levels it's not even funny; have kids ? a teacher ? work in sales or CS ?

What's my point ? This thread is about client/provider relations. We are all providers to somebody/ies or even ourselves at many many levels (and no, I don't mean the rosy palm - lol). In this case, however, "provider" = something that's generally considered a "social taboo". If one can concede to this point, I think one can therefore parapharse the Q to:

I have this co-worker, should we consider not dating, even though the chemistry is there, and we find ourselves quickening our paces as we step out of the evelvator and start reaching for the room key while on a out of town weekend date ?

As as has been established in earlier threads of this post, providers bemcome "intuitive" to their clients' needs. It's also called "reading body lanuage". Some are able to read better than others, and that ability sharpens as you get to know the person better. This is not provider specific. Every time one of us walk into a strip bar, I'd be willing to bet that that stripper or manager that is looking at me while I stroll to a table is doing just that - trying to size up the body language and the wallet.


Since I am maintianing that we are all providers at one level or another, and since we learn to read body language pretty much the day we are born and our eyesight is well enough to make out the mom and pop figure ... I would submit that the real answer to the Q falls back on the person who is asking the Q:

- how well do you know this provider/client ?

- how strongly do you feel that the emotions are real as opposed to being manufactured for his/her short term whims and/or benefits ?

- and lastly, but not least, if your best friend advised you to run forest run, would you listen in the 1st place :-) ?


Ever fall in love with an escort?
love, no; lust, yes

would you run away and scream in horror if it was happening or go with the flow and see what happened?
too many depends attached to be able to give u a straight answer

would you date an escort if you met outside of the demi world?
only if she promises not to kiss and tell :-)

as an escort would you be upset if your SO saw escorts?
you calling me a ho ? lol

[EllaInAustin]

Originally Posted by Hanna Darling

Both happened accidentally.

That's the thing...it can happen quite unexpectedly.

And if/when it does you have to decide whether or not to let it happen. Love is such a great feeling that I've gone against my better judgment and let things develop.

One experience was not good one and one was incredible.

When you have basically complete freedom and independence, falling in love and being in a relationship become different.

It can be difficult for many reasons but falling in love with a client at least eliminates the issue of living a double life.

Relationships are tricky enough. As hobby participants we need to navigate some unique and sometimes rough seas.

As far as a man not wanting to become emotionally involved with a provider because she might have issues, the reverse is true as well. There are men out there with issues who "fall in love" with providers regularly. That's a different topic, really.

If there is a true connection it is worth pursuing, but we should understand that our situation is unique even if both parties stop participating in the hobby world.

[EllaInAustin]

Originally Posted by Natalie

[I]


As an escort would you be upset if your SO saw escorts?
Ooh, can I see them, too? Seriously, I don't think I'd have a problem with it at all as long as we were honest with one another. I'm not the jealous type at all, and I think even if I ever do settle down, strict monogamy will probably never be part of my future. Sex with a new lover is just too exciting, even if you're perfectly enamored with the one you already have.

Yep. If we are providers because it's fun for us we should understand how it can be fun for others. Hopefully meeting in the hobby will allow us to communicate honestly and openly and without sexual inhibition. To pursue a "traditional" relationship after being in the hobby world seems like relenting to a dysfunctional tradition.

I'm not saying that all traditional relationships are dysfunctional, some are quite lovely. But there is a reason the hobby exists, after all...

[guest051510-1]

Originally Posted by rrrabbit

First off, I read much of this long thread, and I want to thank everyone for their input.

This thread, with your experiences, thoughts and genuine heartfelt feelings has inspired me to make my 1st post.

You see, I have been a member of the other board (r.i.p) for some years now, and I never felt the need to post a review or engage in discussions. Understandably, at many levles, and rightfully so, some would thus fault my behavior, as what makes this a valuable resource are the members' contributions, posts and reviews. Nevertheless, I've always felt that what I do BCD is my business, and I'd rather not discuss that w/ anyone but my partner.

Welcome rrrabit, and nice first post.

[Camille]

Originally Posted by WTF

I'll sell ya a ticket to the Camille/Niv drinkfest and buy you a drink if you promise to let me listen to those two brainiacs hash out life's pleasures!

You think I'm a brainiac? Wow. Considering the female company I write amongst on here I think I fall at average if that...but thanks WTF!

Actually, Nin would be my first choice of writing partner for a script. I'd like to attempt a topic grounded in social realism but in a subversive manner with her. I think a few bottles of cliquot and we might be on to something lol and yes, I realize that was the jack of all hijacks. Soz x