Just Wondering Why?

[guest021711]

a very interesting conversation. I've been happily married for 27 years and the sex is not as infrequent as many have talked about...it just isn't any good...very, very vanilla.

Braveheart, we've had the frank discussion several times. I've asked her to try this, maybe that..I've asked her to try to convince me she enjoys sucking my dick as much as I LOVE going down on her. It's a tough sell.

I've thought of the looking for 'How to make Love Like a Porn Star'..Jenna Jameson I think or other 'how to book'. I'm not sure, i think you either are a passion filled, knee buckling kisser / lover...or your not. I'm not saying I am, but she's most def not.

[Tony Patella]

Originally Posted by Braveheart

Cool discussion. How about a radical stand. Have an open talk about your needs, and if she is open to "opening up" (pun intended), then go to a sex therapist (I mean like the ones on HBO!). Then report back!

Braveheart...

Been there, done that, got the tee shirt and it stinks. LOL. She writes off my very vanilla desires as perverted, and her stand is that she's "simply not into experimentation."

Not asking for anything radical...no CIM, no facials, no water sports, no bondage, no threesomes (Although I have suggested MFM if she was interested...)...just a few toys, some dirty talk, maybe a little mutual cautious anal exploration. Doggie? No. RCG? No. Pretty much mish and CG. Ok, so I'll live with all the conditions....but it all comes down to infrequency. And the funny thing is, she's the first to throw in my face that we haven;t been "close" in a while. What? Not for my lack of trying! Then, when I suggest we get right to it, there's a myriad of excuses as to why right now isn't a good time. Even more odd, is that on the occasions we do connect, it's mutually enjoyable and she's very complimentary...to the point of saying we need to do this more often.

I think she has some deep seated sexual frustrations. No abuse, but abandonment issues abound. Actually suggested counseling. The reply...Uh, NO!

[pmdelites]

Originally Posted by Dannie

If you are happy with the way things are, and if you are okay with the fact that your sex life with her will only decline further, with time.....if you are okay with that, then by all means, stay. But if it is something that is going to make you resentful toward her, scrap it. It's not fair to you OR her. If one person is unhappy, you are probably both going to be unhappy.

tony, i'm w/ dannie on this.
since you're not married, that can, note, can make your decision a bit easier. if it were me, and she acted that way whenever i brought up the subject/topic of sexual activities [no matter how frequent or infrequent], i would seriously re-examine my relationship with her and probably back away and leave her to her choices [and for whatever she made the, more power to her]. then go meet another woman who is compatible for me.

but, if she meets all your other life partner criteria, then you have to make the decision of whether to stay and play outside the relationship or not stay and look for someone else.

surely, out of the 1-2 million women in this area, there is one who wont be so, if i may say, bitchy about you wanting to get it on.

best to you, whatever you choose.