Since when is being politically correct crossing the line, and is it pick and choose?

[Krunkman]

Here's my $.02 worth to Meg's original posting:

Race - I completely agree with you. I don't like people who discriminate according to race. It's their perogative to do so, I just choose not to associate with them whenever possible.

Sex Card - I gotta disagree with you on this one. You say "Men are king in the hobby" - and you are absolutely correct. Why? Because men are the customers, and the hobby is a business. The old adage "the customer is king" is virtually universal in any industry where there is competition for the customer's money. It's not personal, it's not sexist, its just an economic fact. Do some guys WK each other? You bet. Do the ladies do the same? You bet. Again, that's not sexist, its gender sticking with gender. And I am sure that the ladies tend to blackball the men as well. To what extent either buyer or seller blackballs the other, well, I for one don't have any definitive info on who does it more. But its much like any other rating service, where people are discouraged from buying from low-rated sellers. In this instance we are talking about people, so while it seems harsh and impersonal, its also a business. And businesses typically are harsh and impersonal in order to survive.

Weight - Let's call a spade a spade, and a fat person a fat person. We've invented all kinds of terms to make being fat more palatable and politically correct. Fat crosses all gender and socioeconomic lines. Fat is just fat. For some its a medical condition, but for most its far more simpler. They eat far more than they consume and those calories gotta go somewhere. Society is not as kind to fat women as it is to fat men. Why? Because women are judged by different standards. A beautiful woman is blessed with the benefits her beauty gives her, while a woman who is not beautiful does not have those benefits. Not to say that she cannot excel, but she doesn't have one of the core values society applies to females. Think of the billions and billions of dollars spent on beauty - clothes, makeup, surgery, etc. Beauty is power to women. And our society's rules say that fat women aren't as "beautiful" as a height-weight proportionate gal. I'm sure if you asked most guys, they would tell you they find gals who have curves more beautiful than some of the anorexic models who strut down the runways. Beauty's standards are a moving target, but for now they seem to say height-weight proportionate, young looking, with large breasts and a narrow waist. But definitely not fat, nor obese. And while some peoples tastes run towards this, it would seem to me that most of the ladies in the business tend to run towards the standard of beauty as it stands today. It's just how things are.

[hotlips_houlihan]

Krunk,

Yes men are king in the hobby. As should be in the sense that they are the paying customer. What I was getting at is that they get away with a lot more. They can be rude and crude and nothing is done. Does it make it their right to be that way because they are the customer?

But great points.

Thanks

Meg

[Jasser]

Originally Posted by hotlips_houlihan

Krunk,

Yes men are king in the hobby. As should be in the sense that they are the paying customer. What I was getting at is that they get away with a lot more. They can be rude and crude and nothing is done. Does it make it their right to be that way because they are the customer?

But great points.

Thanks

Meg

I think we need to always remember that this is a business for the ladies and pleasure for the guys. In a business, the customer is usually given more slack because they are a paying customer and the business wants return business and good reviews. However, it is up to the business (you) to decide what you will put up with.

Is it right to be rude and heartless? No, but that's where you (the business) draw the line. There are guys here that are gentlemen and then are are some that are just plain assholes on a power trip. You decide if you want to do business with the assholes.

Good topic, btw.

[Prohacvice]

Originally Posted by Sophie

(1) IS YUALL

(2) I AM SICK OF PROVIDERS IN DENIAL ABOUT WHAT THEY ARE

(3) WHAT IN THE HELL YOU EXSPECT WHEN YOU FUCK EVERY TOM,DICK,AND HARRY

1. If you are going to use slang, at least spell it right. Y'ALL...not YUALL
2. We are sick of you returning to spew
3. Dont be angry because Tom, Dick and Harry get laid and you dont. At least they are, which is more than I can say for you.

Seriously! There needs to be a way to cross reference an IP address with ANYONE who registeres here BEFORE they are allowed to post a new 17th handle in 4 days.

Seriously.......

As usual, you should all listen to Sophie. She is right about most things.

I don't post much around here, mostly lurk. But why is the board putting up with this guy?

[Guest042715]

[quote=JamieYoung;373154]Lisa, come on over baby!

not to get to far off topic but i'd love to be the bologna in this thick sandwich

Sorry, now ya'll can get back to worring about things other than good clean sex

[Randy4Candy]

...yee-fu*kin' HaaaWWWWWW!!!

I'd hate like hell to work retail or telephone customer service and talk to me sometimes. Yep, ol' R4C can be a domineering, gold-plated asshole especially when dealing with some idiotic, don't-give-a-shit chump/chumpette operating with an effective IQ of 43.75. But, if they want the $ and have screwed the pooch and not owned up to it - they better have their asbestos-lined BVD's on. The point here is that EVERYONE doesn't do "right" every time. It's 100+ freakin' degrees outside and going to stay that way for a while so some of this stuff ain't gonna get any better.

Meg (and JY), being of the rotund persuasion myself - and I know Meg isn't - not sure about JY but don't care because she likes Bone Daddy's girls with their little white anklets - I've caught some shit RW and HW (much less) because of that, so I understand that deal. That also doesn't mean that I'm not at 6'2" 290 sort of physically imposing to someone 5'2" 120 and unarmed. Cut the little girl some slack on that, even if she doesn't deserve it. Big is big any way you slice it and if it's big and pissed, well you get the picture.

Ahhhh, RACE. Fun times and fast living here. A LOT different than in the '60's when I was out marching, riding and demonstrating, etc, etc, etc. Let's just say that things haven't turned out like the architects of the civil rights movement planned "best case" and leave it at that.

"THE MEN ARE GODS AND THE WIMMINS ARE TOYS" - extreme, but present in the minds of some men AND women. Hell's Bells, if one doesn't have enough sense of self to give a little respect up front, whaddya gonna do with 'em? These folks ought to get behavior pointers from someone other than Howard Stern, Rush-Baby and the endless number of "shock jocks."

Meg, passion is kind of like a missle - guided ones work pretty well, unguided ones are well, ummm, problematic and can blow up the one who fired it. Pick your spots, battles, whatever and concentrate on winning the war, not every battle.

[Dharma]

Originally Posted by Prohacvice

As usual, you should all listen to Sophie. She is right about most things.

I don't post much around here, mostly lurk. But why is the board putting up with this guy?

The board isn't putting up with him. He just keeps coming back to entertain us with new handlesandahalf.

[Black Sedan]

Originally Posted by lisa.lisa0302

Black sedan, I absolutely love your assessment of obese people. Now from your standards and description of your likes I am considered obese.

Really? I was just describing my ideal type for a SO. I thought people might pick up on that I prefer taller women... who likely won't fit the "rule of 100". Again, only for a significant other.

The hobby is variety, baby!

I used the term obese, because it's a well understood medical definition. Keep in mind that obese is a condition where there is more accumulated body fat than overweight. Do you really meet that definition; I didn't provide it:

Obesity is a medical condition in which excess body fat has accumulated to the extent that it may have an adverse effect on health, leading to reduced life expectancy and/or increased health problems.[1][2] Body mass index (BMI), a measurement which compares weight and height, defines people as overweight (pre-obese) when their BMI is between 25 kg/m2 and 30 kg/m2, and obese when it is greater than 30 kg/m2.[3]

So no one liked the hiring analogy? I'd say the mainstream employer would never make that "all other things being equal" decision based on race, but wouldn't it be okay to make it on physical appearance, obesity?

By the way, BS loves a bigger booty...

[Fiero]

Originally Posted by hotlips_houlihan

We are always told to be politically correct in an effort to not outcast others, to protect other's feelings and to be polite. But in certain instances, being PC gets one scolded.

We just haven't evolved to the same point on weight as we have on race so it's okay to generalize and stereotype and say generally ignorant and insensitive things about a persons weight. Less so than it was 10 or 15 years ago but weight bigotry is still viewed as a bad behavior misdemeanor at worst. Major shifts in attitudes take time. Weight has not made it's way under the PC umbrella yet...it probably will but it has a longer journey because there is a sentiment that it is a choice people make and therefore should not be a protected class. Those laws are coming though and they will serve to change attitudes. So we have a little bit to go...we find bigotry utterly unacceptable...unless we don't. Weight...Let's see...lower weight is better...healthier...more desirable..."If I don't like it and say so I'm not being bigoted I'm just stating what's obvious". The same thing bigots have said about all the other things we used to be bigoted about before the societal norm for what is acceptable changes. It will chnage for this too and someday the world is going to realize that a persons worth can only be judged by their actions and not their label.

Now as for the king thing...I gotta work on that because I don't feel like a king here very often I always thought it was the women who had the power but as I've read a lot of posts I'm seeing where the women are coming from. I haven't been here very long and I've been surprised at the amount of what I'd have to call anger between the boys and girls. I get frustrated by the ideas put forth that women are here just for X and Men are here for just for Y. It's way more complicated than that and I can tell there are many men here who truly respect and like women. I'm one of those guys and if I ever don't walk that talk I want to be called out on it...so to the ladies, just keep in mind that when you generalize about the "men" you make some of us wince a little...or a lot.

HH...I thought it was a good question and I appreciate your ability to say what you think...it certainly got a lot of people thinking anyway.

Everyone have fun...and be careful out there.

[Krunkman]

Originally Posted by hotlips_houlihan

Krunk,

Yes men are king in the hobby. As should be in the sense that they are the paying customer. What I was getting at is that they get away with a lot more. They can be rude and crude and nothing is done. Does it make it their right to be that way because they are the customer?

But great points.

Thanks

Meg

Lol... I'm not sure the 'King' crown always applies. For being a 'King" I sure do treat ladies like a 'Queen +1'! But that's a personal position. I enjoy treating them well because it makes ME happy. One could argue the ladies get away with a lot as well, but just in different ways. I've met some ladies that are just as crude, twisted, mean, conniving, etc as any man.

Being an asshat is genderless. Were I on the other side of the business I would certainly try to stay away from the asshats attached to penises. There are far too many other gentlemen out there to do business with. Just like us gentleman have a wide variety to choose from when it comes to the ladies.

But there's no real excuse for being an asshat. I've been around for a while, but I've only started actively hobbying recently. I suppose the view is always going to be different when you are on the other side of the equation.

[Iaintliein]

I sense this is a no-win situation, but I really, really don't want to go back to work. . . so here goes.

Society is in trouble when "political correctness" takes the place of plain, old fashioned politeness. A lapse in politeness prompts a raised

eyebrowand pursed lips, but a breech of political correctness invariably causes a shit tsunami.

Burning books was never a good idea, and neither is banning words, particularly when the average vocabulary is a fraction of what it was a few decades ago.

In reading some of the posts that prompted Meg to start this one I find no deliberate provocation. One lady laments being disappointed yet again by an African American client. Does it make a lady racist to recount her personal experience even when she shares intimacy with men of other races? Her comment on race was

superfluous unless her intent was to stop seeing African American clients, but I don't think saying something she shouldn't have said makes her a different person.

The other young lady reported a physical confrontation which was unprovoked, unforeseen, and unevenly matched. I suppose it would have been less controversial to say she was attacked by a "bigger" girl rather than a "big" girl, but that's parsing words pretty finely, in my opinion.

As for men getting away with more, I think that's been covered pretty well under the customer/provider relationship. It isn't "fair" but nothing really is.

I know Loving Kayla and Meg and count both as friends, but I've not met the others involved. My take away is that a couple of young posters phrased their posts poorly as the result of being inexperienced wordsmiths rather than cold hearted.

If we look for offense everywhere, that is is where we will find it. If we take offense when none was intended. . . what of value do we leave behind?

Regards,

[hotlips_houlihan]

Touche folks.

Thanks for the input. I love deep conversations that make me think.

Meg