Retired Irish Tart
User ID: 3552
Join Date: Dec 31, 2009
Location: Secluded in the deep, dark, spooky woods at the Irish Chihuahua Refuge.
Posts: 9,804
My ECCIE Reviews
|
I've met some wonderful people in the hobby, gentlemen who have become close and lasting friends even if the relationship was compensated, one of whom I lost recently after 4 years as his playmate when his heart failed. (Noooo, wasn't MY fault. I wasn't there at the time.) I do understand the frequent "cold shoulder" treatment as you're on the way out after the fun, don't let the door slap you on the ass. The transition is a wee bit jarring, but to be expected as part of the path we ladies have set ourselves on.
There was one fellow, however, that I wish I hadn't met because he broke MY heart. When I was still pretty green as a professional companion, I was engaged for a dinner date by a newbie who was about 10 years younger than I, and when I drove up to the upscale restaurant and saw him standing out front waiting for me, I said to myself, "Oh, Fancy, you're in &^%$@#* trouble now!" It was instant attraction and chemical reaction. He was tall, blond, handsome, well-dressed, intelligent, and not inconceivably out of my age range for public association. We somehow made it through dinner without tearing our clothes off (thankfully we had been in a private booth or we would have been tossed out for making a scene with all the lip-locking), decided to go back to his new house (which was way the heck out in Pasadena) and I followed him there, we went skinny dipping in the pool in the moonlight (I was the first woman to be "baptized" there), retired to the boudoir, and what was only supposed to be dinner and a quick "dessert" turned into all night and most of the next day. OMG.
That was the only time he gave me money, and then just my dinner date rate. I went back to his house a few times, and he met me at my hotel suite hotel a few times (this was way before I had my incall apartment), the sex was amazing, and I thought it was turning into something more; we must have spent 100 hours on the phone, him in his backyard pool in Pasadena, me on the porch of my cottage in the deep, dark, spooky woods north of Houston, looking up at the sky watching for shooting stars while he identified the constellations or pointed out the craters on the full moon. He talked about his work, his family, his parrot, his plans, his frustrations, his motorcycle. He took me on a midnight ride once, me in a skirt billowing in the wind, and we ended up with waffles at IHOP, laughing at the drunk crowd. Another time we went to my favorite place, the Texas Renaissance Festival, in his new BMW, and I still have the moon-and-stars amulet he bought me there.
However, he was going through an ugly divorce (I was the first woman since his wife) and a midlife crisis (he had just gotten piercings in rebellion), and wasn't ready for any kind of emotional commitment, understandably, whereas I was at a point in my life where I wanted one. I think he realized it was getting too intimate when I sent him a big box with a giant Christmas stocking stuffed with little presents, things I knew he liked. (He had never, ever had a Christmas stocking, can you believe it?) We were going to go to a New Year's party at his work, but, well, he decided he wanted to go solo. My heart shattered, as I knew that was the end of that, and yes, he stopped calling shortly thereafter and wouldn't respond to my emails. Yes, I cried myself to sleep on more than a few nights, and it took me quite a while to get over that tightness in the chest and gut feeling.
Oddly, he called a few months ago like nothing had ever happened, and I'm happy to say that I felt nothing. He just wanted to talk about what had been going on with him over the last few years, and while I made the appropriate "uh huh, that's great" remarks as he prattled, I realized that all he had EVER wanted to talk about when we were "together" was himself. The only other times he had taken me on other "dates" in public had been the bike ride and the Ren-Fest, and he had spent most of the time at the festival fooling around with his impressive new camera, and had never sent me any of the photos. Amazing what you talk yourself into "hearing" or "seeing" when you think you're falling in love, when in reality I had always just been a booty call and someone to call who would listen sympathetically and invariably agree with him when others didn't, someone to show his "toys" off to, and our short-lived "relationship" had never really evolved past the self-involved-client-and-I'm-here-to-please-you-provider stage.
Really difficult for couples to maintain relationships, as one side is nearly always going to want more than the other, but especially challenging for Hobbyists (both ladies and gents), I think, because we are used to having it "our way" too much.
(P.S. - Anybody want an amulet, slightly used?)
|