Especially in this hobby, everyone has to decide where to draw the line between right and wrong. You can't make your decision based on public opinion because, as you are witnessing, it all differs.
I'm guessing that since you came here to ask the question, you are having trouble with the decision your little head made. So ask yourself, "why did I have to go ask if it was the right thing to do?"
Decide whether messing with your wife's friend is a violation of whatever standards you set for yourself and stand on that. You'll sleep better at night.
All the best.
PS - If you still can't decide whether or not to see her again, ask you wife what she thinks. I'm sure you'll get a clear answer there...