THE DO'S AND DON'TS OF JERKING OFF!
Do jerk off as much as you like. Don't worry you won't go blind
from jerking off unless you shoot sperm in your eye.
Do try to put yourself in an area where you won't be caught.
Do have a place to shoot your load already set up.
Do hide your spankerchief so no one can find it.
Do jerk off in the shower, as this will hide any and all evidence of
your perverted behavior.
Do drink cranberry juice as often as you can. This builds up your
sperm count incredibly!
Do not get sperm on yourself.
Do not shoot your load on a thick rug and then try to clean it up
with toilet paper.
Do not hold your load in as long as you can in hopes that you'll
shoot it across the room. This can cause irreversible damage to
your johnson.
Do not flex your legs too hard before you blow your load or you'll
get a cramp and ruin the moment.
Do not use your porn magazines as your spankerchief. That is future
jerk off material and if you spunk in it, you won't be able to use
it again!
Do not ever jerk off while taking a shit. That is fucking
disgusting!
Do not attempt to stick your finger in your ass while jerking off.
That would make you gay. (Not that there's anything wrong with
that)
Do not use Icy Hot for lubrication!
Do not, under any circumstances, try to shoot your load into your
own mouth!
(unless you're gay then it's ok)
Do not participate in any group jerk off sessions or any circle jerk
events.
If you do, don't get anyone else's sperm on you.
A final parting SHOT (pun intended)
