So, this morning, my nipple was a little sore. Every now and then, the piercing gets a little sore, and I have to "freeball" my breasts. I didn't want to take my shirt off this morning, because I was kind of cold, and my shirt is pink and red. I was feeling festive, okay? Anyway, I have been sitting here all day with my right breast hanging out of the top of my sweater. My nipple stopped hurting, and I forgot it was even out, to be honest.
I was trying to check my income tax return status online, but I needed the paperwork from my CPA, and it was in my car. So, I get up, prance outside to my car to get my stuff. My neighbor was out there, and I looked up, waved and said hello. He was looking at me so odd. We always exchange pleasantries, so I didn't get why he didn't say hi back.
I just got inside and realized that my tit was just hanging out of my shirt the whole time! I never want to leave my house again. Seriously. This is like one of those dreams where I'm naked in the neighborhood. I can't wake up. No amount of pinching or punching will wake me. I'm the creepy bitch in the hood who walks around with her tit hanging out like it is no big deal.
So I decided to write him an apology card explaining the whole thing. He must have thought I was bat-shit crazy.
This is what he saw:
And this is the card I wrote for him and just put in his mailbox:
I Just Had a "Wardrobe Malfunction"
