What do you do if a provider wants a relationship?

[pyramider]

Would anything be addressed any differently?

[JDNorthface]

Originally Posted by Jackie S

... a lot of these Ladies have "Pretty Woman Syndrom". They think one day Richard Gere is going to drive up and fall in love.

Do you feel like Richard Gere?

+1

Let him hear who has ears to hear.

[Soonerman12]

Originally Posted by JHurt1968

I'm posting this here because I would like opinions/suggestions from both sides of the fence. Not totally sure that I'm behaving in an honorable manner.

There is a provider that I've been seeing on a fairly regular basis over the last 2 months. I've never written a review on her because she is very much UTR. I met her through a retired provider that I still keep in touch with. I've seen her 6 times total and every one of them has been great.

Last week after recovering from our visit we were lying in bed talking and our mutual love of the deserts at a local restaurant came up. We ended up going there and spent 3 hours talking. She has texted or called me every day since. I didn't mind because I really enjoy her company. I called her yesterday to set up a visit because I still had a bad taste in my mouth over a lousy session I had with another provider the previous night. We agreed to meet up in the early evening. An hour before I called to find out where she had her incall. She asked me if I had dinner plans and I told her I didn't. She had me come over to her house for dinner before our activities.

At first I was a little reluctant to agree to it but then I figured why not, it was a nice gesture. I get there and she had the mood set-dim lights, candles, Coltrane and Miles playing on the stereo. We had a great time talking and laughing. Wonderful cook on top of it all. Between dinner, hanging out, and BCD I was there for 5 hours. When we had our session she did a couple of things that she hadn't done before. She is GFE with certain restrictions. Last night most of the restrictions were lifted. She let me do FUHA and we finished with CIM. Usually the backdoor is off limits and I either finish up with COB or HJ (In case anyone is wondering FS was still covered and she didn't offer otherwise). She also did MSOG; usually it's only one pop. At first I thought she was just giving me a special session to make up for the shitty one I had the night before. She then strongly hinted that I was free to stay the night if I wanted to. I had stuff to do this morning so I politely passed.

Today she has called or texted me a few times. I didn't mind but I was a little concerned. She then asked me to come over again tonight so she could cook for me. I passed because I had plans. She then said that I should go over later for "desert". I told her no that I was tapped out financially after 3 appointments in a weeks time (usually I only hobby once a week). She said something to the effect of, "We can figure out payment later." I declined and she sounded disappointed. Just got a text from her asking me to go over and take a bubble bath with her followed by a picture of her in the tub. I called back and asked what was on her mind. She didn't flat out say it but I got the impression that she likes me.

Now I don't know what to do. I like her and enjoy her company but the big reason I hobby is because of the crazy hours I tend to work. I don't have time for any romantic hassles. I also don't think I could date a provider. No judgement call on any of the ladies its just when I have had a SO in the past all my hobbying ceased. I like monogamy and can't imagine juggling 2-3 girlfriends at once. How do I let her know that I'm not interested in anything romantic and would like to keep the relationship friendly and professional without hurting her? I would hate to lose her as one of my regular girls because I do enjoy spending time with her. I guess I want my cake and be able to eat it too but I suspect it's not going to be possible.

This never ends well, but you will see. Very experienced hobbyists like myself have learned why you always keep the relationship strictly professional. But the only way that I learned was through a bad experience. It sounds like you may be getting ready to have one.

[john353]

Been there...done that.

It did not end well...for me. Yes, I ended up getting hurt in the end and that is something that I really never care to experience again.

It all started with just a routine session. I went to see her and that one hour session was nothing short of mindblowing and it was obvious that we made a connection, but I never really knew just how much until about a year later. She contacted me through another site and basically told me that she had never forgot our time together and was curious if I would be interested in meeting her for dinner.

Now...at that time, I had never been approached in this manner by a provider and the fact that she was absolutely beautiful and interested in me...just made it impossible in my mind, to resist. We met for dinner and had a wonderful time. We talked, we laughed...it was just a great time for both of us. Eventually it was time to leave, and she seemed to want to continue our conversation...so she invited me back to her house...not her incall.

I thought nothing of it and although I was extremely attracted to her...having sex with her was the last thing on my mind as I respected her and didn't want to take a chance with an awkward moment. We had a fun evening and I just wanted to leave it at that, so after a couple hours, I mentioned that I didn't want to overstay my welcome and felt that maybe it was time for me to go.

She didn't try to get me to stay...but I could tell that she was surprised that I was willing to cut the evening off and depart. Honestly...she was a provider and I was not prepared to see her on a business level at that time. So...I stand and before I make my way to the door, she came to me for a goodnight kiss.

That kiss...was the shot heard round the world!!

All those memories from just one...one hour session...came flooding back, and we ended up stripping each other right then and there and she literally pulled me to her bedroom.

That moment forward...we decided that we would try a relationship and see where it went. Well...let me say this, it was incredible while it lasted but it was heart wrenching when it ended.

I learned a powerful lesson after that.

I enjoy the times I have with the ladies I see, but one thing is for certain now...I have been hurt before and it stung. It hasn't harded my heart, but I'm definitely more cautious now and I believe I'm quite a bit wiser.

Good luck with the outcome of this situation; I'm sure you're making the right choice.

[Roothead]

Sorry.... I say go for it and have a FwB type of thing.... she will still "work" with others and you will still "procure" with others... but when you are together, it is 'this thing of ours" for the 2 of you...

[Old-T]

Originally Posted by john353

That moment forward...we decided that we would try a relationship and see where it went. Well...let me say this, it was incredible while it lasted but it was heart wrenching when it ended.

That's what can happen with relationships. It isn't just relationships with providers.

[alluringava]

It depends on what you want. MOST men, however, pay an escort to LEAVE, technically, NOT STAY. He's paying for convenience and no strings. I would think most men would be turned-off by a provider who wanted something more. I never made any moves until a client indicated he may be interested in 'more' with me. They didn't end well, but that doesn't mean that everyone is the same, it can work. At this point however, being single for a long time, I decided as long as I work this business, I cannot and do not have the emotional or spiritual energy for a relationship, either with a client or a civvie. I call some of my closest regulars BFE....boyfriend experiences.