Respect - not just a classic song

[mtabsw]

Maybe it's just me, but it seems the early days of civility and good-natured humor on this site are vanishing.

Yeah, I'm a John and I know it. But I don't like being treated like a sucker in a strip club to be told "I'll be right back" and be left once the dancer figures I'm tapped out of Jacksons.

Likewise, I think our professional colleagues know what they are in those same crude terms, but I doubt they like to be viewed as Harry Hines cum buckets for rent.

The folks I see for my hour or so of fantasy fulfillment are kind and caring every second I'm there, and I try to show them a goodly amount of hobby love, including little holiday gifts, just as I would for a real world lover.

The few guys I know personally seem to have that same outlook.

So why do I come on here and get to read some disrespecting attacks? Do we deceive each other? Sure, sometimes ("you have a HUGE dick" being my favorite) but are we all going out of our way to demean our business associate? I don't think that's generally true but it seems to be the starting point when the slightest thing happens in the business process from getting screened to reporting our experiences.

At least from my side it sounds like little effort is made to resolve these disputes privately are made.

Anyone else seeing this or do I need a break?

[Nitwitboy]

The worst outcome of the INTERNET is anonymity. Imagine people saying things to your face that they say cloaked behind a handle. It is really sad how bad we treat each other behind a keyboard. I see it on Stock message boards, where people look for the worst stock of the day and laugh at the people who own it. I See it here, I see it everywhere. Anger, anonymity, economy, marital frustration...I do not get it. I think sometimes everyone is miserable?

[Tony Patella]

Sometimes I just shake my head and wonder about how the internet has allowed us to treat each other poorly, under the aforementioned cloak of anonnymity. Take for an example...

A while back I sent an email to a long-standing and well-reviewed lady inquiring about availability. The correspondence was polite, non-graphic and simply asked about possible open times. I had seen the lady previously some time ago, and recall it as enjoyable. (I guess it must have been good for me, but not so good for her.) Afterwards, I requested and received her P 411 OK. In fact, on occasion we’ve corresponded since that original tryst.

My initial email went unanswered, no biggie, as cyberspace can sometimes play funny games. Her ad in Eccie this week prompted me to inquire one more time, this time via private message, in case the cyber gremlins had absconded with my original email. Again, the PM was polite, non-graphic and simply asked about possible availability in addition to mentioning the original unanswered email. I went on to say if she wasn’t interested in seeing me, no worries but please let me know either way.

You can guess the rest. The PM status shows read, yet no response at all. What’s the big deal, you might ask…simply move on to the next lovely Dallas lady. In fact, that’s exactly what I did. But the burning issue is the lack of a simple reply, such as “Thanks for the interest, I’d prefer not to get together.” Or “Thanks, but based on your reviews and/or P411 OK’s we’re not a good match anymore.” Maybe “You’re fat, ugly and grossly under endowed.” might have been appropriate, I don’t know. Or if you’re worried about hurting feelings, “Sorry Tony, my schedule is really filled with regulars right now and I just don’t have the time to fit you in.” “I’m not a stupid man.” as Forest Gump said…I could have read between the lines.

My board persona here and at the defunct “other board” has been drama free, and exemplifies a gentlemanly approach to the hobby thus eliminating worries of an outrage post, slanderous post or stalker-like behavior. This is a business like any other, and more important we're dealing with human beings. The importance of the courtesy shown by a simple response should never be overlooked. Have we digressed to the lowest common denominator in the courtesy department? Or am I just an old fool?

[pmdelites]

i believe it is the anonymity of the internet - where we dont have to talk with or even see the person who's attempting communication with us. i'm as guilty as many on the net.

but dont go thinking that we're at the edge of the bell curve of respectability or lack of. go read the comments to most any news articles on dallasnews.com or yahoo.com or any major news site. it really is telling that there are a lot of people who (instead of being thoughtful, considerate, and respectful ) are apparently so rude and/or narrow in their thinking or just want to appear so. since i havent done a large scale survey, i wont put forward any theories, other than anonymity.


wrt providers like the one you sent communications to, it's plain old customer disservice at it's finest/worst.

[hotlips_houlihan]

Respect seems to be as lost as chivalry, and not just here. Just look at society.

[guest010712]

Originally Posted by Tony Patella

Sometimes I just shake my head and wonder about how the internet has allowed us to treat each other poorly, under the aforementioned cloak of anonnymity. Take for an example...

A while back I sent an email to a long-standing and well-reviewed lady inquiring about availability. The correspondence was polite, non-graphic and simply asked about possible open times. I had seen the lady previously some time ago, and recall it as enjoyable. (I guess it must have been good for me, but not so good for her.) Afterwards, I requested and received her P 411 OK. In fact, on occasion we’ve corresponded since that original tryst.

My initial email went unanswered, no biggie, as cyberspace can sometimes play funny games. Her ad in Eccie this week prompted me to inquire one more time, this time via private message, in case the cyber gremlins had absconded with my original email. Again, the PM was polite, non-graphic and simply asked about possible availability in addition to mentioning the original unanswered email. I went on to say if she wasn’t interested in seeing me, no worries but please let me know either way.

You can guess the rest. The PM status shows read, yet no response at all. What’s the big deal, you might ask…simply move on to the next lovely Dallas lady. In fact, that’s exactly what I did. But the burning issue is the lack of a simple reply, such as “Thanks for the interest, I’d prefer not to get together.” Or “Thanks, but based on your reviews and/or P411 OK’s we’re not a good match anymore.” Maybe “You’re fat, ugly and grossly under endowed.” might have been appropriate, I don’t know. Or if you’re worried about hurting feelings, “Sorry Tony, my schedule is really filled with regulars right now and I just don’t have the time to fit you in.” “I’m not a stupid man.” as Forest Gump said…I could have read between the lines.

My board persona here and at the defunct “other board” has been drama free, and exemplifies a gentlemanly approach to the hobby thus eliminating worries of an outrage post, slanderous post or stalker-like behavior. This is a business like any other, and more important we're dealing with human beings. The importance of the courtesy shown by a simple response should never be overlooked. Have we digressed to the lowest common denominator in the courtesy department? Or am I just an old fool?

Tony, I agree with you 100%! In the past, I've sent requests through P411 with zero response from some of the providers for days if not weeks. When some of them do finally respond, I tell 'em sorry, I'm no longer interested.

Too avoid unnecessary drama and strife, I've recently updated my P411 profile. Based on what I have listed under my likes/dislikes, I think it will exclude at least 80% of the providers. The plethora of the providers that I've seen and clicked with will know what I mean and won't have an issue at all.

[DFW5Traveler]

+1 Tony Patella

[Chevalier]

I'm a big fan of civility and respect (as long as I'm allowed the occasional curmudgeonly attitude). But I would like to point out one thing.

Originally Posted by Tony Patella

My board persona here and at the defunct “other board” has been drama free, and exemplifies a gentlemanly approach to the hobby thus eliminating worries of an outrage post, slanderous post or stalker-like behavior.

It doesn't necessarily eliminate those worries. It's a standard subconscious bias; we know that we're "safe" so we assume everyone else should realize the same thing and interpret our behavior the same way, but they don't. Even if it might appear, to an objective onlooker, to be an unreasonable worry, some ladies will worry. And I can't entirely blame them. Other guys, on occasion, present a very polite and respectful demeanor . . . until they're crossed in some way. Particularly if a lady has experienced outrage/slander posts or stalkers in the past, she may be hyper-sensitive to the possibility.

I still think it's appropriate and respectful for them to respond to an inquiry, but I'm not entirely surprised when they don't.

[Donnie Brasco]

I talked to a "flavor of the week lady" several weeks ago and she seemed friendly and cool as can be. Just from talking to her she seemed like someone I would love to meet. I sent her my references and I have yet to hear from her. I also read an excellent review on here of a lady that was well reviewed on our defunct aspd board, and I too sent her my references. She sent me an immediate response that as soon as she was done with her next session, she would screen me and schedule me. In both cases I texted my references, no dice. Don't think it's at all wise to contact them again, time to move on. Oh well, their loss, literally that is.

[Guest012211-3]

IF you guys only knew how many emails/pms we have to sort through on a daily basis...

I'm guilty of not returning a reply, and it's my own lack of organization that gets the best of me. Phone calls, pm's , emails and actual people arriving can be a bit hectic at times.

I also have a bad habit of waiting until I know my answer before I reply...if it's late in the evening, most likely I cannot give you an answer until the next day. Sometimes I have to wait for confirmations before I know how may schedule will work out, sorry.

I apologize to anyone that I may have overlooked. Really, it's not YOU...just my personal bad.

[lilsmurf]

Nicole can really do no wrong, neither can Heather...but If someone does'nt return your msg, it just means they are busy with me, nothing else, sorry man.

[gptxman]

Originally Posted by Nicole Preston

IF you guys only knew how many emails/pms we have to sort through on a daily basis...

I'm guilty of not returning a reply, and it's my own lack of organization that gets the best of me. Phone calls, pm's , emails and actual people arriving can be a bit hectic at times.

I also have a bad habit of waiting until I know my answer before I reply...if it's late in the evening, most likely I cannot give you an answer until the next day. Sometimes I have to wait for confirmations before I know how may schedule will work out, sorry.

I apologize to anyone that I may have overlooked. Really, it's not YOU...just my personal bad.

I love when people can take responsibility for their actions. This is way too rare in society today.