Things I've learned from porn
In the absence of my ATF, I have to admit I've watched some porn. (Note to Muffy: no snide comments about left hand). I was amazed at how little it's changed since the "Golden Age of Porn".
Things I've noticed that have held true for decades:
1) Every women express her pleasure by continually saying, "Oh... Yeah... Oh... Heah!!!"
2) Doing doggie is possible by entering by a 90 degree angle from the side (better for the cameras).
3) DFK is best done with a wide open mouth, tongue exposed. (Once again a 90 degree angle is preferred).
4) Oral, either daty or bbbj, is best performed from the side (once again a 90 degree angle. Is this a pattern?)
5) No matter how fat and ugly the guy is (think Ron Jeremy) he's still gorgeous to ladies when a camera is rolling. Note to self: bring a tripod for next session.
6) Men do not have any body hair. The exception is possibly a tuft of pube or mustache (see 6). But no hair on the chest or armpits.
7) A cheesy mustache gets the best looking girls.
8) Men much prefer to "finish" externally via their own hand rather than "within" the gal.
9) One a man has withdrawn (from whatever orafice) to finish, it is instinctive for a woman to drop to her knees, face the man, push up her tits and beg for a facial.
10) A man cannot orgasm without saying, "Ahhhhhhhh!!!" All male orgasms last at least thirty seconds to a minute and finish with three long breaths.
HID
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