Not that I have your attention I thought you might like to know the latest Kate update. Those of you unfamiliar with Kate might want to go read my "
Bribing the Realtor" thread, and pay particular attention to
Part 5.
After CJ passed away I took some comfort in continuing her volunteer work with city & local outreach programs. Harold (Kate's husband) did some volunteer work with a small local foundation that from the outside seemed more social club than charity. Over the years after Kate's and my date, I became acquainted with Harold as our respective roles overlapped on mutual projects. Even so, it seemed very unexpected when three years ago Harold asked me to join the organizing committees of the charity he now chairs.
"You have the best recommendation in the word!" Harold told me in an even voice.
Flattered, I couldn't resist asking, "Who?"
"Why Kate's of course." was the matter of fact reply.
I nearly shit right there.
Harold is a PR guy and very good at it. He has that politician ability to make you feel he's genuinely interested and cares about you; however, from what I've seen over the last three years, it's generally true. Eventually Harold's easy style and my hyperactive sense of duty overcame my initial uneasiness and general reluctance; and I joined a part of Kate's world.
In the
epilogue to the realtor story I wrote that I only see Kate once or twice a year, but never for very long; however, that's misleading. What I really wanted to convey was that our conversations tended to be brief, because the truth is that everywhere I looked, Kate seemed to be.
Through most of the year, I see Harold often and have grown to admire his grace and presence. Each year there is a volunteer's banquet, and Kate is very much in residence. Even if she were not the chair's wife, her personality would compel notice.
It was hard not too, with her plunging necklines and leggy dresses. She would seemingly appear out of nowhere as she fluttered about on her pseudo-random social butterfly route. Emphasis on pseudo, for she knew exactly she was doing, and doing to me. At the first banquet 3 years ago, I managed to net the butterfly as she fluttered by to ask, "Why did you recommend me to Harold?"
I don't remember her exact words but it was something like, "I want all my favorite men close..." But I do remember her grin, I recognize it now as the one she'd get when she enjoyed her own joke too much.
The worst came last December. Kate wore a plunging halter dress with a slit up the left side almost up to her hip, and patent leather pumps. The evening was winding down and I made the mistake of loitering off to the side and watch the leggy butterfly flutter about.
Capt'n Little Sailor: Look at that ass, Spock! It's just as tasty as it was almost eight years ago.
Spock: Yes, Captain, and I do believe she could still wear the Carolina Blue...
Bones: Gawd almighty, I'll never forget when she did the splits.
Capt'n Little Sailor: [smiling] Which time, Bones?
Bones: ALL OF THEM!
Mr. Chekov: And her legs, remember how she'd embrace the ship with them?..
Mr. Sulu: Don't forget her kisses, the touch of angels...
Scotty: Whit ur ye, fools? Ur, ye forgettin' 'at she hud enaw throost tae make th' Kessel rin in twalve parsecs?
[All eyes collectively blink at Mr. Scott]
Scotty: [contrite] Weel, if Lucas can gettae wi' it wa cannae Ah?....
Ohura: I remember her beautiful voice as she sung out her orgasms...
[male crewmembers go silent]
Chekov looks at Sulu: Awwwkward!
Capt'n Little Sailor: Spock, remind me once again why a male ship has female crew on board?
Spock: Because, Captain,
Gene Roddenberry was logical...
As I over focused on ogling Kate a voice boomed out, "Hello Hunter..."
Capt'n Little Sailor: Arrrggghhh!
Spock: Gaaakkkkk!
Bones: AHHHHHHHHH!
Mr. Chekov: Ieeeeeeeee!!!!
Mr. Sulu: Shiiiittttttt!
Scotty: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Ohura: Eeeeeeeeeekkkk!!!
ME: Jeeeezuz H.!!!!!!!!!!!!
Were it not for the ceiling I would be on a one-man mission to explore new worlds.
Harold had just scared the hell out of me as I ogled his wife. He knew it, I knew it, and I was mortified. Of course, the ruckus brought Kate over and Harold was apologetic as he explained to her what happened.
"Oh, is that all?" Kate said, "
No blood no foul, eh Hunter?" who, in retrospect, seemed more pleased with herself than concerned for me as she sashayed off on her butterfly way.
We stood there, Mutt & Jeff like, in awkward silence, looking at the same woman. Then, as if to say he emphasized with why I was gawking at his wife, whispered, "there goes a great piece of ass..." Out of fear more than anything, I kept my mouth shut.
Which brings us to Monday. I was answering a question travelling_man had when it finally dawned on me, Kate set me up!
In the same epilogue, I mention that Kate and I sat across the table from one another. While I don't recollect checking her shields, I do remember how I felt after spending an evening of having her within arm's reach:
Tantalus.
Remember, she knows what she does to me, the "
I must drive you insane with desire..." line in my story is as close to a direct quote as I can remember. She has direct intimate knowledge of how I feel about her.
Sun Tzu would be proud.
There is a get together that rotates around the usual suspects the second Thursday of the month. Kate, the social creature she is, is usually in attendance (presiding is more like it). I seldom attend because I'm not good at that kind small talk and there's not much "middle" class present. But I went tonight, and Kate was there.
I really caught her off guard, she was wearing a nice pants suit, flats, & no cleavage. The last time I remember her in a pants suit was when I interviewed her to be my Realtor back in 2002!
"Hunter, what a pleasant surprise!" She give me the girly hug and cheek peck so common at these events, "I do wish I'd known you were coming."
"I bet you do, Kate..." I replied in a tone that implied more than the words.
Kate, stopped, and her eyes flickered as she pursed her lips to prevent a smile. (BINGO!!!!)
I was then called away to make the rounds and pay homage to the hosts, even spoke to Harold a bit. But where was Kate? For the first time at such an event she's invisible. I made up a story to Harold that I needed to talk to Kate for some female advice for my daughter. "She just eats that stuff up, I think I know where she is..." he says leading me to her.
He whispered in her ears, and her eyes jumped as she recognized my lie. Wine glass in hand, she took my elbow and as we walked off to a side room she says, "You, really should talk to Lauren about a new wardrobe."
Disarmed, "What's wrong with this? She helped pick this out..." I retort.
"Hunter, you wore that shirt back when we closed on the
Jefferson property. You are way overdue for an upgrade."
"Oh..., yeah..."
We were facing one another, and she was looking up at me over her glass as she runs her fingertips around the rim. It was obvious now she could scarcely contain her laughter.
With my best Drill Instructor face I demand (in a low voice), "Three years ago, why did you recommend me to Harold?"
She's looking up at me, twirling her fingers on the wine glass, trying to look like little miss innocent, "Because I knew you'd do well, and my faith in you has been confirmed as Harold has nothing but good things to say about you..." Little miss innocent bats her eyes at me.
"And..." I demand.
"Can you blame me for wanting my favorite men close?" Little miss innocent tilts her head as smiles.
"Kate, fess up, I'm on to you..."
She looks to the left and right, and gently taps
my right foot with hers, and chokes back a laugh, "What took you so long..?" Fighting back her laughter was actually bringing tears to her eyes.
Now I was struggling against the giggles, "I was too busy feeling awkward and enjoying your little shows to think about it. If it hadn't been for that
shit-eating grin of yours I might never have caught on. That's good Kate, really good."
She gave me that grin, and we both lost it... Which attracted a crowd, including her husband, all of whom we waved off with Harold commenting about the "funny advice she must be giving..."
Her eyes coyly smiled at me and having recently relived our weekend in my writings I quietly said, "I miss you Kate..."
She looked away and shook her head slightly side to side, the laughter was suddenly gone. I pushed it too far. All the positive scenarios I had fantasized over the last three days had instantly flamed out. Of course none of the fantasies involved consequences, consequences that this time I ignored but she could not. As I write this now, three hours hence, that complete and total "you are an asshole" feeling still resides with me.
It was very awkward. She finally broke the silence, "I meant what I said..." I nodded in agreement as she continued, "but I mean it more when I say it to him. You understand that don't you?" I nod, it was my idea, my plan, and my arguments that turned her back to him. The change in mood attracts the crowd again. Harold give me the palms up shrugged shoulders look as if to ask "What now?" Unable to think of anything else I return the gesture.
Composure regained, "That was damned good, Kate" I whisper. She smiles, winks back, and a few moments later we return to mingle. After another 15 minutes of boring small talk I take my leave and return home. When I get a text, from Kate. I've had four phones since the one I last kept her number on. I was feeling kinda special that she went to all the trouble to keep my number handy all these years, until I remembered, she has an iPhone, she googled me from the registry.
The message said, "I miss you too, but we still have our date, or two, with breakfast." I'm alone in the house as I deleted it laughing aloud, and I started to write...
The Bitch Got Me Good!!!
