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Old 02-14-2010, 10:33 AM   #31
Chevalier
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Regarding the suggestion of not just providing general guidelines but stepping in on particular occasions when those guidelines of civility and good behavior are not being met.

It ain't easy.

It's not just that the mods can't be everywhere. It's also, in my opinion, a question of how you can effectively react to members (whether male or female) who are acting out. Usually emotions are running high. If others (whether mods or other members of the community) react to them harshly, condemning their behavior, it frequently escalates the tension.

Quote:
A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.
And when someone is acting out, they're likely to interpret any disagreement as harsh.

Harsh responses affect not only those who are the target of the condemndation but also others in the community, who think the responders stepped over the line as well or just don't like drama. I wince at the posts by the uncivil barbarians and also at the posts by some who would try to civilize the barbarians.

Of course, too soft/gentle an answer may be just brushed aside and ignored.

It is an uncommon skill to respond effectively in such situations. Hopefully that is one of the traits that discussion boards look at when selecting staff (although certainly not the only important trait). But there is no similar screening of members for that skill. Although certainly there are many, including respondents in this thread.

It would be nice if we could encourage intervention by those members who have that skill and encourase other members to bite their tongues. I'm not sure if that's feasible either, though.

Civilization is hard work. Good luck.
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Old 02-14-2010, 12:58 PM   #32
Copierguy0
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Default Very Good Thread Lana & I always Value The Ladies input.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lana Warren View Post
Well, all this bickering back and forth has given me no choice but to bring out the "Momma Bird" mode in me!

First of all, this thread is directed towards all the "Girls"! I say girls because most of you don't have enough common sense to come in out of the rain! You haven't lived long enough to learn the true meaning of life! With that being said, I want to change your life! I want to turn you into a LADY!

Now before any of you get your feathers ruffled, you need to shut up, sit down, and listen! Who knows.......you might learn something!

How To Act Like a Lady:
1) Always dress like a lady until your client asks you otherwise! Nothing like strolling into some nice hotel looking like a 2 bit whore! They want the illusion of a lady, so look like one!
2) Always talk like a lady! No man wants a lady to cuss like a sailor!
3) Always return phone calls and emails in a timely manner! The gentlemen took the time to contact you, so be courteous and reply EVEN if you decline to see them!
4) When another lady contacts you for client verification, be professional and give them the information they ask for! Don't get pissy because you think that they are trying to steal your client!
5) When posting on this board or any other board, think before you type! If you come across as a bitch, most likely, everybody else thinks that you are!
6) When posting, PLEASE use spellcheck and use proper grammar! Believe it or not, most clients want to see someone who is intelligent!
7) If you choose to post an alert, for goodness sakes, post it in the correct forum and have all your facts before alerting the other girls! I've seen it happen several times that a new lady post an alert on some poor guy because of a misunderstanding that could have been corrected with a simple phone call!
8) When posting a rebuttal to a bad review, please take the time to tell your story instead of bashing the client! It will make you look like a stand-up lady instead of some psycho bimbo! Try not to take it so personal.....you can't please everyone!
9) When posting a reply to someone's thread, PLEASE do not fly off the handle just because you don't agree with the original poster! They have a legitimate question and it is our job to give our opinion in a civil manner!
10) DO NOT attack anyone publicly on this board! If you have a problem with someone, then you contact them through the back channels! If it cannot be solved, I'm sure the mods will help you!
11) Keep your sessions with a client a very positive one! They come to see you because they want to forget their problems.......not reason to burden them with yours!
12) Do not spend every dime you make! SAVE, SAVE, SAVE! Nothing more less attractive than a lady who is begging for money!


I'm sure I have left out some other crap and if anyone can think of anything else, please speak up! I've always posted with humor and I will continue to do so! I'm just fed up with all the bickering from the young whipper snappers!

Ok, Momma Bird is through bitching.......y'all can now go back outside and play in the snow!
Very Good Thread Lana & I always Value The Ladies input.

Jfred, Good Reply +1

I love having a female Mod here and what better Female Mod than the Well Respected & Beautiful FAWN

I am Glad that Lana Posted this and Fawn Approved it Because, it definetly needed to be said and posted. These same exact words would not have the same effect coming from a Hobbyist. You Ladies Rock.

CG
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Old 02-14-2010, 01:45 PM   #33
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thanks tall sweetie u are great. I have now listen to momma Lana and i will continue to work on myself and make me better. Now please for give me if that time of the month shows up from time to time lol jk. But what lana said is true i had forgottin that with the drama that was going on. Thanks momma for setting me right agian.
lustychick2010 a lady.
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Old 02-16-2010, 05:29 AM   #34
Jacrny2000
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I was late to this post, but I couldnt agree more. As an "old hobbyist", I should probably do one for the guys, but I cant type for that long!
Excellent job Lana. (And I mean that.)
J
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Old 03-14-2010, 03:20 AM   #35
Dasani
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Ok..
Seems you have everyones, full attention now!
*shaking my head*
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