Being Outed or Outing Yourself?

[rekcaSxT]

Originally Posted by Carl

So, if this hobby is about self-gratification, why is anyone surprised when a hobbyist gets busted and is placed under duress that they go with self-preservation first, instead of protecting a paid service provider? Do you really expect some sort of mythical noble, honorable, heroic behavior? This isn't a movie. This isn't "Die Hard" and TGFBI (or any other guy caught in the same bind) isn't John McClane. This isn't "Gladiator" and he isn't Maximus. This isn't "Casablanca" and he isn't Rick Blaine. By his own admission, he's a fat guy that pays (or paid) to fuck chicks with big boobs, preferably with implants, because that was his fetish.

Here's another guess: Once his wife found out she was angrier than a motherfucker and started threatening him to tell her who he was fucking around with or she'd get the best divorce lawyer in town take all those assets, leave him with nothing, make sure he never saw his kids again, and turn their friends and his family against him. Hmmm, let's see: self-preservation or risk losing everything to protect someone that he was paying three figures so he could blow his load on her tits.

That really puts things in perspective. I am single and I don't have a lot of these worries, so I am watching a lot of this from the sidelines. But you makes some serious points that EVERYONE on this board should consider.

[annie@christophers]

As gross as it is ..At least you told the truth..EVERYONE needs to understand. (provider/hobbiest= hooker/trick) STOP making this a field trip to the park..MEN enjoy/WOMEN make money sooooo you CAN enjoy.. IT is as old hat as possible. (But remember who and not to see OR take your biz elsewhere)OLDEST prof on earth and still people have to think its gonna change??? NITE ANNIE PS>>> Make love and money ..

[tron]

Originally Posted by Carl

Here's another guess: Once his wife found out she was angrier than a motherfucker and started threatening him to tell her who he was fucking around with or she'd get the best divorce lawyer in town take all those assets, leave him with nothing, make sure he never saw his kids again, and turn their friends and his family against him. Hmmm, let's see: self-preservation or risk losing everything to protect someone that he was paying three figures so he could blow his load on her tits.

What he was posting online made him even more at risk. The banter typical of a Beavis & Butt-head episode would make a major problem if screen prints were sent to a divorce attorney, his family, and his employer.

This made me think about how what you post can make it easier for others to have leverage. Imagine if LE were to threaten to take those posts to an employer unless you rolled over on the providers you had seen. They could tell you that "maybe you have been harassing women at work, we're going to ask your manager about this". Fear of losing your job and reputation would likely force many to cooperate.

Some have said "deny, deny, deny". That may work for some, but when you post stupid crap like TGFBI did, denying may be much more difficult to do.

[sixxbach]

What he was posting online made him even more at risk. The banter typical of a Beavis & Butt-head episode would make a major problem if screen prints were sent to a divorce attorney, his family, and his employer.That may work for some, but when you post stupid crap like TGFBI did, denying may be much more difficult to do. Originally posted by tron

well being one who is known to post stupid crap as well, I have to chime in. yes, in the wrong hands this could be used against you. but you have to take care of business on your end. i am not defending what TGFBI did or his board persona but if it wasn't for meaningless banter like TGFBI, myself, and others post, this or any board would be duller than watching paint dry

[atxbrad]

WOW Carl! I hope the girls read your post. I can totally understand now why it would go down like this. Previously I was thinking about being in my own shoes.........I am not married and have no kids. No way I would ever roll on a provider, but I have much less at risk than TGFBI. My job isint at risk and my friends know about what I do. Well worded post Carl

[Likinikki]

Some have said "deny, deny, deny". That may work for some, but when you post stupid crap like TGFBI did, denying may be much more difficult to do.

Thus...all the more reason "NOT" give ammunition to the SO to use. Why does she need to know your handle at all...she only has the information if you give it.

I think most of the SO's are just hurt and angry (and rightfully so) and have a need to know something...doesn't mean they need to know explicit information that will dig you deeper in the hole. And, I would say most wouldn't divorce (especially if there are kids.) All that ranting and raving at the moment...is just that...ranting and raving...I should know...been there done that!

Also, let me give you an incident that happened to me and how he (we) handled the situation. My hobbyist got caught due to all the text messages going back and forth...all hours of the day and some late at night...against my warnings...and she found the phone bill showing all the texts going to one phone number...mine! He became so complacent with his wife "not caring" that he would also call me at all hours of the night...and how do you explain that? He got caught...so, I get a voicemail left by his wife one day...asking me to call her...which I didn't, of course!

Then, he calls me from his office to tell me what happened, and that he told her that I was someone he found on one of those phone sex lines (uh, huh...but, kinda smart really) and that he would have phone sex with me...and email me once in awhile, but that he had never actually met me. So, I get another call from her with another message asking if his story was true...that if I had a heart that I would call her and simply tell her the truth.

I didn't call...but after careful consideration, I did send her a text message telling her YES, that was the truth and that I had never actually met her husband, and that I would NEVER contact him ever again...and apologized for any hurt she may be going through...and that was that. No extra drama...I guess she got the closure she needed.

So, you see...sometimes, you just have to be prepared...and think on your feet. Some situations don't necessarily have to get that ugly...but, if you hobby...you gotta have a plan, just in case!

[Booth]

Originally Posted by tron

What he was posting online made him even more at risk. The banter typical of a Beavis & Butt-head episode would make a major problem if screen prints were sent to a divorce attorney, his family, and his employer.

No shit. I just tried googling Big Pimpin' and Ralphey Boy and it brought me straight to Eccie.

[RALPHEY BOY]

Originally Posted by Booth

No shit. I just tried googling Big Pimpin' and Ralphey Boy and it brought me straight to Eccie.

I dont have a phone number and or website when you google REB....

Big Pimpin's wife knows nothing of his board posts....

[GneissGuy]

Forget about whether a hobbyist is particularly likely to betray a provider.

Forget about whether a provider is particularly likely to betray a hobbyist or another provider.

Friends betray friends. Neighbors betray neighbors. Husbands/wives betray each other. Children betray parents. Brothers betray brothers. Former true lovers betray each other. Professional colleagues betray each other. Employees embezzle. Employers betray their employees. Lawyers and doctors betray clients. Businesses betray customers. Customers cheat businesses. Business partners cheat each other. Trusted friends often make the worst enemies.

You should be prepared for almost anyone to betray you. The odds for a particular individual may be small, but the damage can be high and the number of people you are involved with make the cumulative odds worse.

That doesn't mean you should go hide under the bed for the rest of your life. You have to weigh the risks vs. the benefits of everything you do.

You need to evaluate the risks. You need to minimize the likelihood of betrayal. You need to do what you can to minimize the damage if a betrayal does happen.

This applies to the hobby. It applies to business. It applies to your personal life.

Whining about it doesn't help you. Berating your betrayer doesn't help you.

[harleyguy]

REB, lets look at it this way. Say you are a provider and the avitar that you use is your actual picture. Now you post your number on here and you keep your exact hobby location secret.

It is different for average people to recognize you in public then it is for a crazed and upset person to hunt you down.

So all of a sudden a persons SO finds your number either intentionally or through negligence. Now the SO is histerical and you are afraid! See it has nothing to do with a picture it hass to do with an act that another person did either intentionally or through negligence.

That act messed up another perrsons life. There is no reason to stand up for another persons carelessness if it harms another. This is like trying to justify why a drunk driver ran over someone and sticking up for him. You are just extremely upset because the drunk is your friend who ran over someone. I know this is a bad comparison but it is partially true.