Arrivals in heaven
Arrivals in heaven
All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination to
determine whether admission will be granted. One room has a clerk who
inputs computerized records of what each applicant did on his or her last
day of life.
The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good
one. "I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed
she had just gotten out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry and I
checked the shower and it was completely dry too. I knew she was into some
hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover. I went onto the balcony of
our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rail by his
finger tips. I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers with a flower
pot. He let go and fell, but his fall was broken by some awnings and
bushes. On seeing he was still alive I found super human strength to drag
our antique cedar chest to the balcony and throw it over. It hit the man
and killed him. At this point the stress got to me and I suffered a
massive heart attack and died."
The clerk thanked him and sent him on to the next office.
The second applicant said that his last day was his worst. "I was on the
roof of an apartment building working on the AC equipment. I stumbled over
my tools and toppled off the building. I managed to grab onto the balcony
rail of a 9th floor apartment but some idiot came rushing out on the
balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot. I fell but hit some awnings
and bushes and survived, but as I looked up I saw a huge chest falling
toward me. I tried to crawl out of the way but failed and was hit and
killed by the chest."
The clerk couldn't help but chuckle as he directs the man to the next room.
He is still giggling when his third customer of the day enters. He
apologizes and says "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as the
fellow in here just before you."
"I don't know" replies the man, "picture this, I'm buck naked, hiding in
this cedar chest....."
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