Submissive Male Pics & Discussion

[KohanaKoa]

I am not into the submissive male lifestyle, but I can appreciate those who enjoy and follow the instructions of their mistress.

I have some inquiries about this lifestyle and ran across these photos and thought this may be a good way to kick off the discussions for our sub males and dom mistresses out there.

So what is it you enjoy or dislike about these practices is it cock & ball torture (CBT), cuckolding, chastity, ruined orgasms, denied orgasm or orgasm control, trampling, tight bondage, spanking, smothering, ball-busting, corporal punishment, and face sitting? Men are you into being fucked by strap-on cocks. Do you like to be subjected to penis humiliation, clothed-female-naked-male (CFNM) humiliation, or the humiliation of becoming a panty-boy, pony boy or dog boy? Guys can you respond with unquestioning obedience, ass worship, vagina worship, oral servitude, pantyhose worship, foot worship, shoe or boot worship?

Again, this alternative lifestyle is not my cup of tea, so if I incorrectly referenced or left out any topics or activities, please chime in.

[charlestudor2005]

Pictures of the following would be greatly appreciate:

cock & ball torture (CBT), chastity, orgasm control, tight bondage, ball-busting, corporal punishment, and face sitting, being fucked by strap-on cocks, penis humiliation, general humiliation, ass worship, vagina worship, oral servitude. Although I like to be controlled in the above manner, I also like a vanilla heterosexual ending to the session.

Not much into being spanked, whipped.

[Miss Sophie Bella]

Originally Posted by KohanaKoa

So what is it you enjoy or dislike about these practices is it cock & ball torture (CBT), cuckolding, chastity, ruined orgasms, denied orgasm or orgasm control, trampling, tight bondage, spanking, smothering, ball-busting, corporal punishment, and face sitting? Men are you into being fucked by strap-on cocks. Do you like to be subjected to penis humiliation, clothed-female-naked-male (CFNM) humiliation, or the humiliation of becoming a panty-boy, pony boy or dog boy? Guys can you respond with unquestioning obedience, ass worship, vagina worship, oral servitude, pantyhose worship, foot worship, shoe or boot worship?

Again, this alternative lifestyle is not my cup of tea, so if I incorrectly referenced or left out any topics or activities, please chime in.

Hi!

I'm a Domme and while the activities you listed above certainly do sometimes happen within a D/s relationship, I think most of this is actually sadomasochistic. Obviously the two can and often do go hand in hand, but many men enjoy being in service to a female dominant and are not masochistic.

For submissives of any gender and orientation, there's great enjoyment derived from being released from responsibility to make decisions and having your Dom/me take charge of your activities and needs both in and out of the bedroom. It can be a big relief to know you're in the hands of someone so trustworthy that they will guide the experience for you. For the service submissive, the pleasure of pampering and meeting the needs (material, sexual, sensual or practical) of the woman you worship is its own reward. Some submissives also enjoy the difference in status they experience, pleasing and serving a woman they consider far superior to themselves.

Heavy impact play, torture, discipline, humiliation, etc can be part of submission, but not necessarily. Masochists simply enjoy the emotional and/or physical intensity of the pain. Many subs will allow their Dom/me to punish them if they have disobeyed or simply as a show of devotion, particularly if the dominant is a sadist, but don't consider themselves masochists as a result. The objectification experienced during hooding, pony/dog play, etc can also be appealing because it erases your identity. It's just a more extreme form of roleplay, but like masochism it doesn't have to involve power exchange.

Strap-on play is really fun for any guy who likes a lot of prostate/anal stimulation (which is, in my experience, most men), but bottoming isn't submitting. Now if I make you suck my strap on first, that's another story

Obviously, there's HUGE areas of overlapping preferences in this realm. There are definitely submissive, masochistic bottoms (yum), but I've met many men who identify as one of those labels, but not the others. I look forward to having some lively discussions! Hugs.

[RickO'shayRabbitt]

Very well put, Miss Sophie. I have submissive fantasies, but they are in need of some sexual stimulation. Being spanked, bound, tied, etc without the arousal just wouldn't work for me. While I am referring to physical stimuli, much of submission for me is what goes on in the head.

I agree that all those pics are only a small part of the D/s world. Sadly, that is the most universal understanding of what D/s is.

[KohanaKoa]

Nice start to our conversation. I agree that the psychological part of D/s is the most arousing for me as well, unfortunately it is very difficult to illustrate. While I understand the true D/s lifestyle extends well beyond any sort of session play. It does not typically play in the p4p environment, not that we need to limit our conversation to this relationship but it is what I was referring to in my original post.

I believe the mental aspect takes the most work, the most trust and thus is the most rewarding part. The discipline, punishment and/or sexual gratification is a small part, if any of these elements are involved at all. However in the p4p relationship I find it difficult to build the type of trust necessary for a true D/s partnership. The activities in one of these sessions can be limited to the lack of knowledge between the client and provider.

In the p4p environment, I believe the client is looking for the illusion or real participation from their provider regardless of which role is being played by each. It is the female provider as the dominant and male client submissive roles that I would like us to explore here. How does it pertain to the p4p game for you?

[RickO'shayRabbitt]

I did the p4p once with a domme--many, many years ago. It was so long ago that I found her in the Current, if you can believe that. It wasn't fun. The second I walked in, she ordered me to strip and begin kissing her feet. Well, after about a minute of that I told her that wasn't what I was into. So we stopped, I gave her some guidelines on what I was looking for. Her response was along the lines of that's not what dommes do.

Fair enough I thought. I left, perhaps poorer but wiser. Through the years I have wondered how it could have been handled better. Only conclusion I have come to is that she and I needed to do lots more communicating prior to the session.

So how does one do that in the p4p? I am new here, but it seems to me the ladies do not want to talk about much before a meeting. Most women want the appointment, ie the cash, so they will probably say just about anything to get you to come over. One and done is OK with them, I guess.

My guess is the way it needs to happen is get to know a lady with several sessions; hint at what you like; see if she takes the bait. By then, there is some trust and comfort and maybe it could happen.

I would be highly skeptical of having a good session on the first meeting with a lady involving D/s, even if she advertised that as her specialty. We are so different. What might turn 90% of the men on, might not work for me at all. And vice versa. Like I mentioned earlier, the activities aren't nearly as important to me as being able to get inside my head. If you don't know me, how can that happen? You might get lucky but I am not willing to invest in luck. So, familiarity and trust are critical.

Man, I love this site. Very fun.

[Guest050911]

Barney,

I think you need to put what you are interested in on your P411 profile, ask them to read it and if they can provide your desires. Find ladies that are open to your interests or are open to fetishes...

And yes, I do not go into a first session thinking it will be more than GFE, trust has to be build, and where the click happened and things progressed, it is not the norm. You did the correct thing in resetting expectations and when not met, moving on. Start the communication with her when time allows and if after going BCD she is not communicating with you, then more players on the field.

Also, posting about your interests here will help in getting that communication started.

Happy Fetishing and let me know if you need more info / have Questions/ etc.

PPE

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by PurplePussyEater

I think you need to put what you are interested in on your P411 profile

PPE

This is a great idea!!! Thanks. I'm going to do that now.

[Miss Sophie Bella]

Originally Posted by barneyrubble

I did the p4p once with a domme--many, many years ago. It was so long ago that I found her in the Current, if you can believe that. It wasn't fun. The second I walked in, she ordered me to strip and begin kissing her feet. Well, after about a minute of that I told her that wasn't what I was into. So we stopped, I gave her some guidelines on what I was looking for. Her response was along the lines of that's not what dommes do.


So how does one do that in the p4p?

Hi BR,

I think I can address this for you. The rules of play within a P4P relationship should follow the same basic guidelines for play in any BDSM relationship: we are safe, sane, sober, consenting adults and we negotiate our preferences and boundaries, both hard and soft, way before the scene starts. I have a questionnaire I send any client who contacts me for a fetish session so that I can learn their erotic preferences, their level of experience, and discover more about their mental and physical health. I then follow up and negotiate the specifics of the kind of activities we'll be doing.

This isn't because we're going to write a scene together ahead of time and act it out to a 'T'. The anticipation, excitement and nervousness you should experience each time you visit a good Dom/me is all part of the fun. But I want to have a crystal clear picture of what a submissive enjoys, why they enjoy it and how we can have fun together playing within those negotiated boundaries. As I know a client better and we have established a trusting relationship, I will push their soft limits and allow them to explore more intense experiences within the safe confines of our dynamic.

A caring and trustworthy Dom/me will always give the client aftercare. Sometimes this means an icepack for the bruises they've acquired. Sometimes it's a warm shower and a cup of tea. For me, it always means giving affection after the scene in the form of hugs and an open conversation. Both of us need to transition out of D/s head spaces and process the interaction. I always factor in time for this very important step during any session.

Finally, do some research. Look for someone who is interested in safety and education and who recognizes the incredible responsibility inherent in power exchange. A good Dominant is going possess each of these traits. Never trust anyone who claims to be a "Master" of the kink world. Sorry to get all "Jay Wiseman" on you. Much love. Enjoy your week.

[youngatheart]

I think many of us are confused between D/s and roleplay. Many want a scene wher the woman is in control (strict teacher, nasty neighbor, boss etc) but not the full D/s sceen. Roleplay, if discussed ahead of time and and limits are agreed upon ahead of time can incorporate many aspects of D/s without the extremes. Either way there should be lots of discusssion prior to the date to ensure everyone has a good time.

[otrdriver]

So if I understand this correctly the scenerio should be to;
1. find a p4p provider w/a dom side
2. set scene for what you are expecting to recieve. i.e. spanking, massage, ass play, etc
3. provider needs to confirm she can safely support request and confirm w/player
4. confirm appt
5. player shows up at said location and gets his ass worked over

[RickO'shayRabbitt]

Not to argue, but I tried another domme after that initial meeting some 20 years ago. I made it a point to exchange several emails detailing my fantasy. We even had a few phone calls prior to the session. Guess what her first words to me were?

"So, what are you into?"

I reminded her of our talks/emails. She looked at me blankly. I turned around and left, never to try again.

[KohanaKoa]

BR, I agree with you 100% that it is very difficult to find what one is truly looking for in the p4p game. PPE's suggestion to enter your wants and desires in you P411 account is a good start, but as you stated, it does you no good if the provider doesn't read it.

It is an interesting point that Miss Sophie makes that a session that is too scripted takes away from the excitement of anticipation and your point of visiting a provider a couple of times to ease into what you are looking for isn't a bad idea.

My best p4p D/s relationship was with a young provider in the North East, who had reviews that she exhibited a submissive side. It took us several different sessions of exploring each other before it got really good. I did give her some initial information of what I was looking for, not in detail, but simply something like "if there are light restraints used and I would expect some submissive behavior on her part, would she be okay with that" and she was. Now the expectation of submissive behavior is a very wide statement that could have been interpreted by her in many different ways, but we happened to click from the start and grew from there. She finally fell in love, got married and retired, but man what a ride.

This is a bit off topic in that I am not a sub male, but as Miss Sophie has stated, the ideas and principles are the same regardless of our roles and I believe we can find what we're are looking for in p4p, but we must be diligent and as with anything worth having, put some work into it. This may mean having sessions with a provider before you find out you aren't connecting and moving on. The bottom line is that there is something out there for everyone.

[Guest032514-1]

Pretty much agreeing. I think confusion over different aspects of alternative play are due in large part to it's easy to incorporate totally different alt values into the equation.

If I get the vibe that my wanna be partner is in the wanting to try mode, I give my cow analogy. To me, cow = beef. I don't need organic, kobe is always appreciated and I don't like sirloin. Ribeye is my fav, but I love a good roast. I like my steaks mid rare and my burgers well done. Telling me you want beef is not the same as asking for rare prime rib, even if the prime rib is beef.

In over 15 years of alt sex and still learning, I have found that for me to keep it straight and in perspective (my perspective), I have broke it down thusly:

Alternative covers everything other than 1 man 1 woman 1 bedroom (basically)

All alternatives are some take of fetishism.

BDSM is Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism. Notice the commas? Each of those four can stand alone.

Bondage is anything from "restrained" (holding someone's hands down) to roping (Shibari) cuffs (pink fur to steel).

Discipline is a form of control (dominance) but D/s does not necessarily need to be a part of it.

Sadism - inflicting pain causes arousal.

Masochism - receiving pain causes arousal.

Some interpret BDSM - and sometimes BDSM is used as - Bondage Discipline Slave Master. I don't think that's appropriate.

Fetish is more commonly used to cover a generally non sexual "value" that causes arousal. Choking is not considered sexual. Breath play is a common fetish. Spanking (on its own) to me is not BDSM or D/s. "Smack that ass" is part of the modern lexicon. How many times in "vanilla sex" is there an 'ass smack' and it's not BDSM? Yet spanking can be part of BDSM and D/s.

Role play - in any form, is not on it's own D/s. One participant may be assuming a part that society deems as authoritative or dominant (teacher, cop, boss, jockey) but that does not automatically make it BDSM or D/s.

You can be a sadist and not be into bondage or dominance or role play. (Cutters aka knife play is an example). But a sadist can enjoy bondage or role play along with.

D/s for me breaks down to 3 catch all groups. Dominant/submissive, Master/slave and Master/pet. But it's all actually just role playing within a D/s setting. Yes, you can be in a D/s relationship without fetish, roleplay or BDSM.

The beauty of viewing each as a 'stand alone' is the ability to mix them together to create a desired effect.

I prefer my beef as a 20-30 day dry aged midrare ribeye with a Bearnaise sauce. But I eat almost all types of beef cooked various ways and served with different accompaniments.