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Valued Poster
Join Date: Jan 17, 2011
Location: NWA
Posts: 359
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Retiree
One day a man decided to retire...
He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his
life, that is, until the ship sank.
He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing,
only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous
woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.
In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when
my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with
you."
"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of some raw material
I found on the island.
The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree
branches, and the sides
and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."
"But, where did you get the tools?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island,
a very unusual stratum
of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature
in my kiln, it melted into
ductile iron I used that to make tools and used the tools to make the
hardware."
The guy is stunned.
"Let's row over to my place," she says. So, after a short time of rowing, she
soon docks the boat at a small wharf.
As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a long
stone walk leading to an cabin and treehouse.
While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope,
the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she
says casually,
"It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please."
"Would you like a drink?"
"No! No thank you," the man blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another
drop of coconut juice."
"It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like
a Tropical Spritz?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on
her couch to talk.
After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces, "I'm
going to slip into
something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's
a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs."
No longer questioning anything, the man goes upstairs into the bathroom. There,
in the cabinet is a razor
made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge
are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.
"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What's next?" When he returns, she greets
him wearing nothing
but some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned, she smelled
faintly of gardenias.
She then beckons for him to sit down next to her.
"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've both been
out here for many months.
You must have been lonely. There's something I'm certain you feel like doing
right now, something you've
been longing for, right?" She stares into his eyes.
He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean..." he swallows excitedly as tears
start to form in his eyes,
"You've built a Golf Course?"
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