the yuk thread: maggots are some effin gangsta mo foes

[pxmcc]

trigger warning:some readers may find this topic a bit too heinous. viewer discretion advised. and feel free to post your own yuk stories.

a few days ago, i bbqed s
some salmon and steaks ov
over mesquite. i had some odds and ends left over-you know the usual brain tissue and small intestines-and i put them in my trashcan on my balcony.

few days later, i sat down to have some dinner, and noticed maggots crawling all over that garbage can. after a generous plethora of expletives, i considered how to kill them. i'm doing mold remediation from my idiot hoa's defective sprinklers,
and one of my go-to cleaners/killers is a mix of bleach, hydrogen peroxide, and white vinegar. i tried lysol first, and the foul maggots laughed at me. so then i pulled the big guns: my triple cocktail. and i soaked the bastards thinking that the fat lady was indeed singing. but these fuckers just shook it off and said, "is that the best you got? and i said to myself, ya actually it was.

so i went on google to find out the best way to kill maggots. and one of the recommended products is salt. cheap, nontoxic, and i just happened to have a lot because, for health reasons, i avoid it.

so i grab my salt and start pouring it on any hapless soul who enters my field of view. we're talking like salt submergence. and almost without exception, the nasty maggot would emerge and go on his merry way. i was like, wtf. these aren't regular maggots, i'm thinking. these are genetically engineered super maggots. prolly escaped from a Chinese lab, and they buried that shit somewhere in the Himalayas

so i went online to look for some tips, and one poster swore by lime juice plus salt. (why lime and not lemon etc. lol). so i go fiesta, buy some limes, come home, and squeeze the juices everywhere. i must say her process worked, because i saw no movement anywhere, finally, after hordes of yukkers had been coming from a endless fucking clown car.

#maggotslayer
#gome
#nowcanigetmynobelprizefinally

[MarcellusWalluz]

The only place I usually see maggots is in porta potties.

[pxmcc]

Originally Posted by MarcellusWalluz

The only place I usually see maggots is in porta potties.

lol sir. you sure they weren't dung beetles..

day 3 and they're still emerging. but so far none have escaped from their salt dungeon..yet. anyone up for an over/under on flies emerging?

the smart ones will shelter in place and keep gorging themselves until they're ready to pupate. the dumb ones emerge, get covered in salt, and end up having all their tissues sucked dry. sounds painful..

[Bowser98]

Bag the trash, zip-tie the bag closed, problem solved. Unless of course, you just enjoy the dumpster life.

[pxmcc]

Originally Posted by Bowser98

Bag the trash, zip-tie the bag closed, problem solved. Unless of course, you just enjoy the dumpster life.

i hearya dog. i watched 'em emerge onto my salt flats for 4 days in a row, seeing them getting water sucked out of their monstrously heinous bodies. on the 5th day, nothing emerged. possibly i killed em all? or maybe the smart ones laid low and moved on to the pupa stage. i wont find out because i sent the remaining worms to a landfill, which maybe they'll luv. maggot heaven..

[Ericka xoxo]

Originally Posted by pxmcc

so i went online to look for some tips, and one poster swore by lime juice plus salt. (why lime and not lemon etc. lol). so i go fiesta, buy some limes, come home, and squeeze the juices everywhere. i must say her process worked, because i saw no movement anywhere, finally, after hordes of yukkers had been coming from a endless fucking clown car.

#maggotslayer
#gome
#nowcanigetmynobelprizefinally

When I start reading this part I thought you were going to say that they had already the Dos Equis ready and they were just waiting for you to start the party.

Great tip by the way. I use clorox and never works.