Communication

[Jollypm]

Many ladies say explicit language will get you blocked on an add or webpage.
So what would be the best way to communicate you may have an interest in activities that are kinks or that may require additional supplies like strap-on or outfits ect.?
Also what really counts as explicit?

[Fizley]

Go see her.

When it comes to Kinks I have found it's best to gain a comfort level with provider.

If she offers a quick, take her up. When your tieing your shoes ask "if I spend an hour, the next time can we try XXX?"

Now she has a comfort level, you just hobbied with her, and she knows your not a problem child as your dressed,put your shoes on, and heading out the door.

[Ed Highlight]

The Ripster will assist you with your communication. He's a master, a communication Ninja!! Some would go as far to say he's a cunning linguist...

[offshoredrilling]

Originally Posted by Ed Highlight

The Ripster will assist you with your communication. He's a master, a communication Ninja!! Some would go as far to say he's a cunning linguist...

Ripmany link for the op

[Chung Tran]

I ask away anyway.. if they block me, or get upset, fuck 'em.

or don't fuck'em as it likely turns out.

[NoOneUKnow]

Many have been burned by guys who get off just talking dirty to them and never spend a dime. Plus you never know when someone might be recording you.

Fizley pretty much covered it.

[sexykarma]

Much like Fizley said, talk to her in person, get to know her by sessioning so she has a feel for who you are, that you're not LE or going to physically harm her...then if things are going good you can introduce the thought of a fetish by asking if she's fetish friendly...

In a hypothetical situation after you ask if she's fetish friendly she'll more than likely ask what you want...if you're into say "getting punched in the arm" then you can say this and ask if she'd be willing to give you a few punches....if she doesn't decline it from the start then she'll probably start off light, you can say "maybe a little harder".....build it slow and gradual, this gives you the opportunity to pace or set a limit to the power she uses. Helps the mood to keep it playful and perhaps not ask for it on the first session that you see her.

Worst thing is to just ask for it in an email, she's likely to be instantly dismissive if she thinks its creepy or strange, she has no prior knowledge of who you are or what your personality or character is, she'll probably quit communicating and put you on her DNS list, could tell her doubles partners or report you in some forum or blacklist. Blacklist would be more for like bringing a weapon to a first session and asking for knifeplay or gunplay.....can't imagine her doing anything but freaking out, much as I've read at least one review where the provider had a loaded gun on a dresser. Extreme fetishes like these are way better off asked for beforehand in person after multiple sessions where trust has been established, figuring this example would be more of a BDSM setting where safewords are already discussed and agreed upon.

Email requests about kinks and fetishes just don't go over very well....too many unknowns and suspicions about people who don't know each other yet. In an email scenario it helps if the kink you want is part of the providers scene and menu.....in the example of the "getting punched in the arm" it helps if you're communicating with a dominatrix who does impact play for a living.....it's going to be a tougher sell to an escort or massage provider that just gets an initial vibe that it's creepy and now doesn't want anything to do with you.

I've made this whole asking via email vs in person mistake myself. Way better results asking in person and after multiple visits.

[sexykarma]

A couple other things I forgot....if you're asking in the middle of the first session for something you don't know if she'll provide, and you made an appointment for like 2 hours hoping to do those kinks, then if she says no then you have to plan other activities to fill that 2 hours up. That would be the best to ask as the session is getting over, that if we could do "this" then I'd like to meet for 90 minutes or 2 hours instead of one hour next time.

Also helps, especially if she is underpriced for the services she provides, and follows through with your kinks and desires, to offer a tip of 50 or 100 at the end of a session, claiming that she did a great job and did everything you wanted....reward her for a job well done especially if she's charging under market value for services...she will probably remember this when it comes to future visits and keeps her in business..I remember a massage provider that offered FS and naively charged ridiculously low fees, some guys gave her the 300 or 400 that they normally paid other providers...they were honest with her and told her what her services were worth and that she was giving it away. Some may have simply paid the cheap price and left. Shortly thereafter her prices were raised more to fair market value. Doesn't hurt to treat them well and leave a good impression.

[VeronicaTurbay]

things like that are better to discuss once you meet someone and feel comfortable with each other.

Veronica Turbay
DC-MD-VA
https://linktr.ee/veritoturbay
https://twitter.com/Turbayveronica
https://veronicaturbay.me

[gimme_that]

Originally Posted by Chung Tran

I ask away anyway.. if they block me, or get upset, fuck 'em.

or don't fuck'em as it likely turns out.

This in a nutshell is the concept.

I’m not doing a practice first time session. Or just arriving to ask and figure it out.
For me on an overnight that’s a very expensive tryout for someone unsure or not straightforward about what they do. She needs to trust her screening. I want what I want the first time. Not subsequent visits of maybes all on my dime.

If she’s worried about you being a cop. That’s fine. Don’t even reach for the money and verify what she does before it’s exchanged. Make that known prior to coming that you will walk if y’all don’t mesh. Bet she will be more forthcoming then as you coming and potentially leaving cause she doesn’t do what you seek is a potential issue to her.

Believe me when it comes to residuals and money ladies will be detailed and specific on the amounts you need to bring. Sometimes down to the denomination. I feel I deserve the same courtesy to know what I’m paying for; as I place value in capability as well. And the only ladies who find issue with it or the ones who probably know they can’t accommodate your requests; or they find issue with you asking and then declining and want to blacklist falsely all cause they aren’t getting the opportunity. Ladies can be vindictive like that.

[yourdesire]

I didn't used to have a problem discussing these things via text or email. Since Fosta I'm more cautious. But if you get to the appointment and I can't give you what you want I'm not going to ask you to stay or pay

[burkalini]

95% of the ladies do about the same thing. Of course how they do it is how we like them. If you get something else that you want then doof for you but to ask right away is not only rude it will get you in trouble

[BLM69]

Originally Posted by Chung Tran

I ask away anyway.. if they block me, or get upset, fuck 'em.

or don't fuck'em as it likely turns out.

Exactly! I play by my rules

[January Maye]

Since you will be seeing her for the first time, do not have an agenda other than allowing her to take the lead. See what her hosting/entertaining style is like. Truly awesome to allow somebody be who they are without coaching or requests. She might be Iike-minded already. On the other hand, maybe you won’t jive very well and it would have been senseless to have asked n the first place.

If you have dealbreaker expectations immediately upon meeting and think anything else will be a waste for you, use the resources you have available to you and read some reviews and ROS’s to find a provider who s consistent In providing the activities you have in mind.

- January Maye

[offshoredrilling]

^^^^^female pimp ad ????