NEED A LAUGH? Super Funny Hobby Blooper.thread....I have so many😄

[VENUSNOVA]

O.M.G.��
That poor girl��..oh your rotten peabody��
Thats sad and funny at the same time.
Ya spicy fingers would do that��

That bests my sexy client overnighter wetting the bed after
Getting lit on Tequila..Scotch..Bourbon..beer
We partied that night��

[Italia DiBella]

Originally Posted by peabody

I went to a cajun place for crawfish with a friend then we went to Treasure. We met a couple of honeys and went to a secluded area. After a couple of dances my girl jumps up and says she has to go to the bathroom and runs off. after a few songs go by we send her friend to check on her and she comes back and says she thinks she has an STD because her pussy in burning so bad. I guess I didn't wash my hands as well as I should have.

Ouch!!

[R.M.]

When I worked at topless club in the Galleria area I was allowed to have my massage table in the dressing room and this one dancer was fired that evening. When I came back to my table she had taken a shiz on the floor by my bed and used my sheets it to wipe her butt. I will ever forget that.

[VENUSNOVA]

��
...thats gross..��..however, your ��So not gross & Sexy!

Thanks for Sharing..and it's always nice to see Sexy Italia Dibella..posting..����

Okay I hope your sitting down with a beer, cocktail or something for these next few incidents.. these are TRUE.����
These next few incidents where not necessarily funny at the time but now I can laugh ��about them..
Here's three more incident OMG situations..
A repeat client that I still see lost the anal plug in his ass.. ��it's all good no emergency room visit required. He was a trooper & still is ����we got it out.

����������
The following incident I had at the Crown Plaza in Costa Mesa..with a very Sexy tall African American Gentleman that also enjoyed being tied up..and other naughty fun..as he was leaving to get into the shower badge in a wallet that folds falls put.��������I almost pissed on myself.

Thank God he just gave me a hug and kiss and said he safe put there Mistress.��
Yes I absolutely swear it happened

Next one Mr.Antonio Banderas look alike scheduled a date we had planned an encounter that was rape fantasy .I was staying at the Marriott in Newport Beach.Im not anyway the plan was he was going to meet me in the hall and start the rape fantasy in front of my door by pushing me into the room.
He was a level 3 and had refs..on another site so I felt safe his screening worked out.
He meets me in the hall pushed me in..( He did look just like Antonio Banderas..��) the problem is he was playing the rape scene completely wrong and I stopped him and told him let's please start all over this isn't the way you rape.
I walked him to the Door and asked him to please go back to the stairs and let's start over i would meet him at the Door.

He never returned..��
��
My enthusiastic approach to the fantasy role play scared him..��

I found out later he was a high alert good client gone bad.
��
I have so many moments oh I'm not sure if it's good for my business maybe I better quit while I'm aheas������������������������� ������������������������������ �

[pxmcc]

damn Venus my pulse went up reading your 2nd and 3rd stories. u straight up gangsta, girl..

[pxmcc]

i have a hobby blooper that wasn't from just one session but several. i'm a huge fan of peppermint oil (PO), but it can cause excitement, in more ways than one. acceptable locations vary with the level of freakiness of the gal:
freak=PO on the nipples
superfreak=PO on the starfish
freakazoid=PO on the clit
severe masochist=PO on the kitty

so i've had several sessions when a gal accidently got some peppermint oil on her kitty and went into full-blown crisis mode. made for some exciting sessions..

now, the scrotum in males is roughly equivalent from embryonic development to the labia majora in females, one of those no-go for PO zones on the female anatomy. one session, a gal pretty much slathered peppermint oil all over my balls. if i wasn't a gangsta, i would literally have been crying in pain (with a tiny scintilla of pleasure.) instead i was like, "sweety, i'd say we're good on the peppermint oil. the half bottle you just rubbed all over my nuts should be just enough for now, probably," as i managed to make my grimace look like a smile..

[Brittneyy]

Not sure if it fits the theme but something I'll never forget!

About 2 years ago I had gotten a place to have some fun and relax maybe invite a few folks over and see where the night leads!

Well my friend is on the way and all seems to be on the up and up I give my room out and within a few mins he has arrived!

I run and jump on him with excitement and out of the blue his phone rings.
I've never been against someone answering a phone especially if its a SO or employees or anything of the such. Anyway he proceeds to answer the phone and on the other line was a screaming voice
My lord it was the SO!!!
"I followed you to (this place) you fucker" is what I heard along with a few other not so sweet words.

At this point I'm just looking with a shock face listening.
He hangs the phone up throws a gift bag on the floor and took off running down the hall
I have always wondered if he made it out alive but considering I've never seen him around again no telling what happened.

[pxmcc]

^^yikes..

You're looking sexy Brittany! Anyone know if we can have a boobs thread here..

[pxmcc]

Originally Posted by pxmcc

i did a doubles session with 2 of my utrs. one, Kim, is a stacked amazon ebony who ran nc2a track on scholarship and the other, Porsha, is a tall petite mixed ebony with a booty that can crack walnuts. anyway, the gals show up and Porsha announces she had just eaten some fiery hot crawfish and had to use the bathroom. i have two, both with good fans, so i told her to use the back one. she comes back awhile later while Kim and i are chatting. Porsha is more my preferred body type while Kim is a greek queen, so depending on my mood..

anyway, i start on k-9 with Porsha, after some warm-up, and Kim is sucking on Porsha's perky b-cups and making out with Porsha. just as we're getting into a good rhythm, Porsha announces she needs to use the bathroom..again. so i pull out and Porsha disappears for awhile while Kim and i are chatting. eventually Porsha comes back, when we rinse and repeat...3 more times. The last time, Porsha announced that every time i pounded her, it made her feel like she had to go. (this wasn't greek, mind you.) so Kim and i are busting out in guffaws. i offered Porsha some pepto bismol-which i always have on hand to deal with carolina reaper-induced gi distress (i eat 5 a day)-and after she relieved herself, Kim and i finished in greek while Porsha masturbated and sucked on Kim's nipples. it was a hobby blooper but by no means a trainwreck..

so i saw porsha tonite. there were no bloopers..

she lost her her provider status due to no shows. she came as a civvie for a backrub. she left as a provider back in my good graces. ya'll black girls got the booty..

[Brittneyy]

Thanks love and I don't know but if there is one I would love to participate and throw these girls in the lineup
Sharing is caring <3

Originally Posted by pxmcc

^^yikes..

You're looking sexy Brittany! Anyone know if we can have a boobs thread here..