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Old 04-18-2019, 05:37 PM   #1
Fresh-Memes
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Default Toys - Use a string please

TBone’s thread about toys motivated me to add a similar thread. If you use toys, tie a string to the end so you can pull it back if you insert it too deep. Too many people arrive in the ER with a sex toy too far to retrieve by hand and off to surgery you go.

Any of you fine people end up in the ER with a toy/object that needed retrieval? The best part is when people try to explain what happened. So doc, “I was walking around the house naked and slipped only to land on a lubed dildo that some how glided smoothly up my ass without tearing my anus and rectum...”
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Old 04-18-2019, 06:10 PM   #2
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I don't understand how women get stuff stuck/lost inside of their vaginal canal.

I had an IUD inserted in my uterus over 4 years ago and if I insert a finger inside of myself, I can still locate the tiny string all these years later.
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Old 04-18-2019, 08:15 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brooke Wilde View Post

I had an IUD inserted in my uterus....
Fuck....Had to re-read that shit....At first glance, though it said IED.....
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Old 04-19-2019, 12:09 AM   #4
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Fuck....Had to re-read that shit....At first glance, though it said IED.....
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Old 04-19-2019, 10:49 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Russ38 View Post
Fuck....Had to re-read that shit....At first glance, though it said IED.....
LMAO ... that would be one hell of a way to go out.
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Old 04-19-2019, 07:24 PM   #6
Dorian Gray
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Originally Posted by Russ38 View Post
Fuck....Had to re-read that shit....At first glance, though it said IED.....
Same difference
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Old 04-20-2019, 04:58 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brooke Wilde View Post
I don't understand how women get stuff stuck/lost inside of their vaginal canal.
Alternative orifice.

A long time friend of mine was an emergency room surgeon with field experience as a corpsman ... who told me the most difficult surgery he performed with a straight face and without losing it (his composure) during surgery was removing a bowling pin from a guy's "rectum" ... bottom end FIRST!

FYI: When acquiring "toys" with "strings" one might want to make CERTAIN the "string" will remain INTACT before inserting it in a tight place or deep inside. You know? Like pull on it hard BEFORE INSERTING! Some of those rubberized connectors can slip off after some lubrication is applied ... natural or artificial.
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Old 04-20-2019, 09:02 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LexusLover View Post
Alternative orifice.

A long time friend of mine was an emergency room surgeon with field experience as a corpsman ... who told me the most difficult surgery he performed with a straight face and without losing it (his composure) during surgery was removing a bowling pin from a guy's "rectum" ... bottom end FIRST!

FYI: When acquiring "toys" with "strings" one might want to make CERTAIN the "string" will remain INTACT before inserting it in a tight place or deep inside. You know? Like pull on it hard BEFORE INSERTING! Some of those rubberized connectors can slip off after some lubrication is applied ... natural or artificial.
Maybe it was my first time to bowl in socks mate.

IED..heh.. have to yel 'incoming' at the appropriated time. 'Blowin' that pussy up to a new level.

Cheers
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Old 04-20-2019, 08:59 PM   #9
Russ38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LexusLover View Post
Alternative orifice.

A long time friend of mine was an emergency room surgeon with field experience as a corpsman ... who told me the most difficult surgery he performed with a straight face and without losing it (his composure) during surgery was removing a bowling pin from a guy's "rectum" ... bottom end FIRST!
Hmmm....wonder if health insurance covers that procedure....
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Old 04-20-2019, 10:10 PM   #10
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I always make sure to sink a 3/8" screw eye into the bottom of the bowling pin and tie on a 1/4" nylon rope.
Safety first!
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Old 04-21-2019, 01:25 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by Slitlikr View Post
I always make sure to sink a 3/8" screw eye into the bottom of the bowling pin and tie on a 1/4" nylon rope.
Safety first!
If you have a cross dresser, you have to remember the screw is reverse threaded or you could end up with a cross threaded cross dresser.
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Old 04-21-2019, 08:48 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Russ38 View Post
Fuck....Had to re-read that shit....At first glance, though it said IED.....
Well, that would make our Brookie a raging river and not a Brooke.
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Old 04-21-2019, 11:07 AM   #13
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Brooke, think of the movie Man On Fire...... The cop that was the President of La Hermandad (Lt Fuentes?) went out with an IED up his ass.....
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Old 04-21-2019, 03:31 PM   #14
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Quote:
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Hmmm....wonder if health insurance covers that procedure....
Knowing the surgeon he probably wouldn't charge just for the copyrights to the story!!!! He did say it was a "tough" surgery with no eye contact with the others on the team, some of whom were present in the hall way as the surgeon lifted the sheet up to see why it looked like a tent while the boyfriend was dancing around nearby shrilly expressing his dismay as to how it possibly got STUCK! A Fellini moment.
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