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Thanks for the advice. I want to see this provider because she is very established and well reviewed (this site and others), and offering exactly what I want.
I don't see any ill intent from her, I literally have no references which is what she would prefer using. She just offered work verification as the only other way. I'm confident it's about her safety...
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OP, you answered your own questions. Her safety is crucial. If you had references, she wouldn't have any cares for your name and employment information. There is a difference between being discreet and anonymous. Once you've put in the work to cultivate a trustworthy handle and you've got references that can verify that they've had safe sessions with you, things will be a little more easeful. Until then, you are a rando from the internet until you prove that you are not.
As Dallas stated, well established and highly respected providers use work verification as a form of screening. I personally don't call a gent's employer. I don't think there is anything wrong with it, it's just not the format I'm familiar with. Instead I require his work email and then I do a domain name search.