BLONDE JOKES

[Sexy Texan]

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on, everywhere she touches makes her scream.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
The blonde was very angry about this. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
The blonde did not know how the salesman had recognized her. This time, she got a haircut and new color, a new outfit and big sunglasses. She then waited a few days before she approached the salesman.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
Why don't blondes like to breast feed their children?
Because it hurts when they boil their nipples.

[artist6338]

do you know why blondes have one more brain cell than a horse? So that don't shit in the parade!

[Sexy Texan]

Do you know why blondes don't ware hoop earrings?
Because they're tired of getting their heels caught!

[SaytownFinest]

I laughed!

[MuffinThumper]

Why did they call the blonde senior "Twinkie"?
Because she loved to be filled with cream

Why don't blondes talk during sex?
Their mothers told them not to talk with their mouths full.

[Sexy Texan]

Q. How do you brainwash a blonde?
A. Give her a douche and shake her upside down.

Q. How does a blonde part their hair?
A. By doing the splits.

Q. Why don’t blondes eat bananas?
A. They can’t find the zipper.

Q. Why do blondes wear red lipstick?
A. Because red means “Stop, wrong hole.”

Q. Why don’t blondes use vibrators?
A. They chip their teeth.

Q. What do blondes do for foreplay?
A. Remove their underwear.

Q. Why don’t blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
A. Cause their balls show.

Q. How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
A. Fertilized.

Q. How do blondes turn the light on after sex?
A. Kick open the car door.

Q. What is the worst thing about sex with a blonde?
A. Bucket seats.

Q. Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A. She’s been laid all over the country.

Q. What important questions does a blonde ask her mate before having sex?
A. Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate.

Q. Why do blondes have orgasms?
A. So they know when to stop having sex.