3-DAY SPECIAL ON CRIMINAL RETAINERS

[ShysterJon]

I am a very experienced attorney in Dallas, Texas whose practice is primarily defending people against criminal charges in state courts in North Texas. Occasionally, I’ll defend a client in other parts of Texas, in other states, and in federal court. I also handle civil litigation cases.

Long-time hobbyists and providers know me from my posts on Eccie and ASPD regarding legal issues related to hobbying and other matters. Over the years, thousands of members have reached out to me privately for advice. Many have retained me to represent them in various types of cases, including prostitution, DWI, drug offenses, and assault.

I offer a criminal retainer agreement to long-term, well-established Eccie members, both hobbyists and providers. You can call it 'hobby insurance.' In exchange for a one-time payment, I will: (1) answer your hobby-related questions during an in-person meeting, if you request a meeting; (2) answer your hobby-related questions in the future, within reason; and (3) arrange a bail bond, if you're arrested and if you ask me to arrange a bail bond. (Of course, you would be responsible for paying the bondsman's fee, which is called a 'premium.') In the event you're arrested, and we reach an agreement that I would represent you regarding the matter for which you were arrested, you would receive a credit toward my fee. Our agreement would be memorialized in a written contract. The agreement has no expiration date.

The regular fee to retain me is $250. For three days only – Friday Nov. 27, Saturday Nov. 28, and Sun. Nov. 30, I will discount my fee to $225, a $25 savings.

I've offered the criminal retainer agreement since 2012. By far the most activity has regarded hobbyists needing immediate help with an emergency. I could write for hours about various fact situations, but the common element has been the guy is caught up in a situation in which he COULD be arrested, and he wants some quick help to get out of it. That topic is my specialty. I also get a lot of questions about blackmailers, and if all it takes is a call to end a blackmailer's efforts, I'll do that at no additional charge. Over the years, my success rate with one call has been more than 90%. Lately, I've had a number of new clients with a misbehaving sugar baby.

I have a reputation for being very easy to reach, especially by text message. I can't always talk on the phone because I'm often in a place where I can't answer my phone. I don't keep my phone's ringer on 24/7, but I'm a borderline old fucker so during the night I check my phone at least every two or three hours because old fuckers have to get up during the night to pee. Occasionally, I'll be required to help a client during the wee hours. That's not my favorite thing to do, but it's part of my job.

If you're interested in retaining me, please EMAIL ME (DON’T PM me) at ShysterJon@gmail.com and I will get back to you as soon as I can. Any information you disclose to me remains confidential.