Fake power vs real, subtle power

[Zabrina Sarafina]

Question for submissives: do you prefer women in dungeons with "domination" training in nice latex, leather outfits ...and the experience that brings

Or meeting a woman who doesn't partake in any of that ...and is dominant in every day, real life...

Do you just desire a pretend dominant / domination show ...or an interaction with a real dominant woman.

I mean, can you tell the difference in power... one in theatrics .. the other ...

Can you pick up on that

Does real life d/s turn you on more ...more something

Such a difference you can't go back to the dungeon cuz u know that's all b.s

[Lion26]

Why should setting, manner of dress, and accoutrements matter? None of the above determines "real" power or "fake" power...which is a whole other can of worms.

[justabloke]

Interesting question, as all of your questions tend to be. I've had encounters with both types and have come to the conclusion that it really depends whether you are a true submissive or just a kinkster. Let me elaborate.

The whole black leather/latex/dungeon thing is a male fantasy. Men are very visual and are more likely to be turned on by the traditional fantasy figure of a dominatrix. But it is also usually a visual provided mostly by professional providers in my experience. BDSM with a pro is mostly a fun and sexy time that the man knows will end in an hour or so until he can scrape up the readies for the next time. His infrequent visits makes him want to get the most out of his time and money. Gothic dungeons and sexily clad goddesses are part of the entertainment package.

The lifestyle Dominas that I have encountered have never worn that kind of gear. None of them had much in the way of bizarre and erotic toys. The last lady I was with had rope, pegs and fingers but she knew what she wanted. The other big difference is that a lifestyle Domina isn't going to do anything that she isn't enjoying herself, even if the man doesn't. After all, it really is about her pleasure isn't it?

So to answer at least one of your questions, I found it pretty to easy to distinguish between genuine and acting. I love the visual fantasy a pro provides, but also love the headfuck that a real life Dom offers. In real life impact play hurts, but it hurts less if you are with a genuinely sadistic real life bitch who is really getting off on your pain.

There's a place for both as long as you know who you are and what you want.

[Iron Butterfly]

I like a closeted Domie, one that lives a seemingly normal life but is in control BCD, not into the whole dungeon thing but like the kind that take control and gets what she wants.

IB

[Lhornbk]

I'm not into latex at all, and don't really like leather either, except maybe a leather mini-skirt and leather boots. But, I really prefer lingerie and stockings and high heels. I have never been in, or really desired, a dungeon per se either. I do like for her bedroom to be equipped with restraints (particularly on the bed) and for her to have toys and floggers and so on.

So far, every domme I have been with has been truly dominant. Some have been pros who could play the stereotypical domme, but it was very obvious that they truly enjoyed my submission. I don't think I would enjoy someone who was just acting.

[michaelbolton]

i think we then have a true dominant woman without the dom kink...who doesn't need the leather getup as a fantasy because that fantasy is her reality and therefore not enticing...

and the woman who "plays" dominant with the kink...I don't go for the latter because, touching on the underlying theme, it's an act...I'm not much for roleplay/acting in the bedroom because it's not genuine...others are...a preference...the REAL dom in everyday life, now that's hot! And I'm no submissive; I like the sexual tension of the clash...