The Thing That Wouldn't Shut Up

[Dharma]

I was reading a thread where communication was brought up. Specifically, the old, "are you married?" question. I found early on in my career that within an hour of meeting someone, they'll often tell me things that they wouldn't tell their spouse or priest. Sometimes it's all part of them relaxing, sometimes it's part of the intimacy and sometimes it's seriously too much. A couple of times, things I was told would land a person in jail. I often stop clients from revealing personal details simply because they don't understand how far a little personal information can go.

For what I do, I do need to know certain things because the answers can change the session. I don't mind telling clients a bit about me but I usually tell stories about things that have happened to me as part of the entertainment. I try to steer clear of uncomfortable personal details.

I've had massages where I had to ask the therapist to please, stop talking. So my question is this, how much is too much? How much is really part of the intimacy you're sharing and where's that line? Have you ever had to tell a provider to zip it? Ladies, let's hear your answers too. What do you do with a chatty client? Other than giving them something else to do with their mouth, that is.

[Guest110416]

A chatty provider is one of the most annoying things when in comes to BCD times I pay for. In the case of the massage session, small talk chatting beforehand is cool, but once the massage starts, if the massage is any good, I prefer to lay there and relax, possibly hearing some MMMM sounds from her from time to time depending on what part of my body she is massaging. Then, after the massage+ session is done, some more small chat as we are both getting dressed is fine as well till the end of the paid for time or even a few minutes over. FS sessions are a little bit more dependent on talking during the session as it is very important to receive feedback (moaning, ego stroking words or phrases, telling a client constructively what turns you on the most, ect.), but not necessarily a discussion like conversation. Talking about other clients and how bad/good they were during a session is not proper and could be quite uncomfortable and offensive as well. Talking about anything off the subject at hand takes focus of the client IMO, and if you just have to ask them, limit the personal questions to general info only.

All in all, guys are different so it does not hurt to actually ask a client what he prefers when an appointment is made and do that instead of assuming anything, that would make it so much simpler for both individuals.

[oldbutstillgoing]

There are ways to shut a provider up if she gets to talkative. Just saying

[TheRealJohnnyRingo]

Perhaps the best question to ask is who is the customer and who is the service provider? One thing that has astonished me upon my return to this site here is how frequently the tail wags the dog around here and how often the dog permits it.

[Eva Damita]

Originally Posted by OldButStillGoing

There are ways to shut a provider up if she gets to talkative. Just saying

Indeed. Indeed.

I like a little chit chat of just a few minutes beforehand , but I'm not about to "talk my way out" . Ladies who do, typically have no interest in providing exceptional service, it's a "hustle" .

I usually save the chat for when we're laying cuddled with eachother recouping for the next round.

[Kendall4U]

Sometimes we get WAY too much info......just part of the territory I suppose. I like to talk and like it when I know that I've made someone feel comfortable enough to trust me. I have always wondered if you guys open up to everyone or just a few? I don't mind chatting about everyday stuff but try not to delve too deep into his or my private life. Lots of talk in these hobby woods and I know there are folks that can't be trusted. Proceed with caution for sure.

[Grace Preston]

The following only applies to my FBSM sessions---

When I am receiving a massage, I don't like constant chatter from my therapist. So.. when I'm the one giving a massage, I let the gent take the lead-- if they are chatty and want to talk a lot-- then I'm happy to engage. But I've had others who have fallen asleep on the table!! I think in the scope of a FBSM session, it is much easier to read in regards to what a gent wants.

[Muscleup]

Originally Posted by Eva Damita

Indeed. Indeed.

I like a little chit chat of just a few minutes beforehand , but I'm not about to "talk my way out" . Ladies who do, typically have no interest in providing exceptional service, it's a "hustle" .

I usually save the chat for when we're laying cuddled with eachother recouping for the next round.

It's funny. The "Are you married?" question is usually asked at some point in alomst all 1st time sessions. Use to make me very uncomfortable. Now, I'm just use to it. But I do get other questions that are uncomfortable like what I do for a living. However, it's pretty obvious what I do by what I wear. So I guess I should expect that. I really don't like discussing mine or the provider's personal business.

However, I'm the chatty one. Sometimes I can be a bit quick-on-the-draw. :-) So there is a bunch of time left. I start telling stories, attempt to be funny and entertaining. Some of the time I get the sense they want me to shut up and get out. Not in a bad way. Just that we are done and I should go. If I feel that, I shut up and leave even if I've got another 30 mins. Some of them I catch off guard and they actual give me a real laugh, or we actually have a common interest and have a good chat. For me, talking for a bit is very important for a good session experience. If not, I feel like I'm f---ing a mannequin.

[Angel Ryder]

I like to chat a bit, usually I ask what their plans for the weekend are, if they're having a good day, etc. Things like that, but I do not like things to get too personal. I have had clients ask me things I was not comfortable answering and so my answers were extremely vague. Needless to say, the gentlemen caught on and stopped prying. On the other hand, I had one client who would not stop asking me personal info and I had to finally say, "Look, we are not friends. And XYZ is none of your business. Ask me about it again and we will never schedule another appointment again." I just don't trust people enough to open up like that anymore. People, especially in this world, turn on you super fast, especially when you have a falling-out and I'd rather not be at the mercy of someone seeking revenge.

[cabletex7]

Originally Posted by Dharma

I was reading a thread where communication was brought up. Specifically, the old, "are you married?" question. I found early on in my career that within an hour of meeting someone, they'll often tell me things that they wouldn't tell their spouse or priest. Sometimes it's all part of them relaxing, sometimes it's part of the intimacy and sometimes it's seriously too much. A couple of times, things I was told would land a person in jail. I often stop clients from revealing personal details simply because they don't understand how far a little personal information can go.

For what I do, I do need to know certain things because the answers can change the session. I don't mind telling clients a bit about me but I usually tell stories about things that have happened to me as part of the entertainment. I try to steer clear of uncomfortable personal details.

I've had massages where I had to ask the therapist to please, stop talking. So my question is this, how much is too much? How much is really part of the intimacy you're sharing and where's that line? Have you ever had to tell a provider to zip it? Ladies, let's hear your answers too. What do you do with a chatty client? Other than giving them something else to do with their mouth, that is.

tl:dr

[cinnamonshark]

Originally Posted by Eva Damita

Indeed. Indeed.

I like a little chit chat of just a few minutes beforehand , but I'm not about to "talk my way out" . Ladies who do, typically have no interest in providing exceptional service, it's a "hustle" .

I usually save the chat for when we're laying cuddled with eachother recouping for the next round.

I like how you think because I am the same exact way. I have read a few reviews of this happening.

If the ladies start asking a few questions, I'll answer them. But, when they go into, or want full details, I usually tell them that I will talk about it after we are done. Works better that way.

I have had many ladies tell me their issues and I've told them my fair share. But, I've tried to be careful not to divulge too much info. I believe it was Slim in the, "Ladies, What Is Your Two Biggest Client Problems" thread who stated that she doesn't liked to be asked about too much RW info. I'm kinda that same way, but sometimes it does get mentioned (Slim, feel free to jump in add to this if you wish). Edit: I believe you have already stated this previously in this thread, Slim. Sorry dear, I wasn't paying attention.

[Dharma]

Great answers so far! I'm curious about what you gents feel comfortable sharing in your first-time appointment.

When I'm in session, I feel that it's my job to take you away from your worries. If we hit on a subject and I feel you tense up, that's then end of that subject. It's not difficult to steer the conversation elsewhere. It surprises me how much clients want to talk about personal details. And makes me wonder if they have someone who listens, at home.

From the responses so far, I'd say that most clients want quiet, a great session and maybe a little chit-chat after. I go into a session thinking a couple minutes of light, informative talk and then a nice quiet session. Doesn't always happen.

I guess there's a pretty big difference between massage and other sessions.

[Prolongus]

Laughter. The best convo.

[Guest110416]

First time appointments are always tricky, unless you have at least chatted before through PM, text or over the phone. If the provider is good at what she does, the inconsequential chat beforehand should be less than a few minutes, then after the BCD portion of the time, perhaps a little more comfort has set it to chat more openly before time is up. If the provider is one of the many who do the in, on, off, and out with nothing but scripted passion if that, then a great way for her to waste the majority of time a client has paid for is tell a bunch of stories that may or may not be true, but it will eat up the time so as a guy cannot say he did not get his full time in his session.