A women's perspective

[iamselfmade]

A question about love or lust ...

I know I just fucked up. A relationship of 5 years ... down the toilet. On a diffrent note I held this little fine chica close to heart. Divorced and she found me, rebound if you will. Great friendship and lots of hot sex. Recently she got serious ... very serious ... marriage, kids, move in Ect... But things were not all quite right. So now she is mad, have not spoke to her in months and she calls me out the blue just to tell me she is seeing someone else and that "I fucked up" that she met his family and they met her family. Then she comes over ... we fucked like rabbits, all night ... then in between days, same story ... calls late at night, txt late at night telling me how I fucked up... then she buys me a ring for xmas ... we fuck ... repeat ... My heart cares for her so its been hard to just cut her loose. I know I have been her crutch and she has been mine ...

So the question is this. In a females point of view, what is she doing? What is the meaning of what she is doing ...

And more so ... do I let her be ... let her give 1 hun to her so called "relationship" and take myself out of the equation?

And is this a SURE indicator that when she was "unhappy" with me that she was doing the same thing?

-Iamselfmade

[pyramider]

You used each other, pretty simple.

[Jewish Lawyer]

Originally Posted by iamselfmade

A question about love or lust ...

I know I just fucked up. A relationship of 5 years ... down the toilet. On a diffrent note I held this little fine chica close to heart. Divorced and she found me, rebound if you will. Great friendship and lots of hot sex. Recently she got serious ... very serious ... marriage, kids, move in Ect... But things were not all quite right. So now she is mad, have not spoke to her in months and she calls me out the blue just to tell me she is seeing someone else and that "I fucked up" that she met his family and they met her family. Then she comes over ... we fucked like rabbits, all night ... then in between days, same story ... calls late at night, txt late at night telling me how I fucked up... then she buys me a ring for xmas ... we fuck ... repeat ... My heart cares for her so its been hard to just cut her loose. I know I have been her crutch and she has been mine ...

So the question is this. In a females point of view, what is she doing? What is the meaning of what she is doing ...

And more so ... do I let her be ... let her give 1 hun to her so called "relationship" and take myself out of the equation?

And is this a SURE indicator that when she was "unhappy" with me that she was doing the same thing?

-Iamselfmade

I would say that you are an insurance policy, and if the other guy doesn't marry her, you will be a suitable substitute.
Myself, I love Latinas though as you know, they can be rather volatile, so I wish I had married a Jewish one - but I haven't found too many who fit the bill, plus my current wife of almost fifty years is rather possessive.

[iamselfmade]

Volatile indeed ... Just like the stock market!

[Billy Babitt]

She's a bitch. Playing mid games is horseshit. And she knows EXACTLY what she's doing to you.

Screw her brains out while you can, and when she walks out don't look back.

Calling it like I see it....

[billw1032]

I am not a relationship counsellor, nor do I play one on TV, but... It's possible she's getting pretty far down the road with the other guy but he isn't really what she wants and she's looking for a better option. When things were good, did the two of you have anything more than the sex? You said things were not quite right. How much not right? Something you couldn't have overcome? And remember, when looking back you tend to remember the good times and forget the problems, so be realistic. If it truly was something you want back and could make last, then now is the time to make a play for it. If not, then do as the others suggest and just enjoy it while it lasts knowing that it's going to end sometime soon. Or, walk away now before you get in too deep and get hurt again.

[Luke Skywalker]

Funny. The guy asked the womens opinion, but only guys responded.

[iamselfmade]

Originally Posted by Luke Skywalker

Funny. The guy asked the women's opinion, but only guys responded.

Male input is ok too ... I wanted to hear females input but they still might be asleep from working hard last night!

[iamselfmade]

Originally Posted by billw1032

I am not a relationship counsellor, nor do I play one on TV, but... It's possible she's getting pretty far down the road with the other guy but he isn't really what she wants and she's looking for a better option. When things were good, did the two of you have anything more than the sex? You said things were not quite right. How much not right? Something you couldn't have overcome? And remember, when looking back you tend to remember the good times and forget the problems, so be realistic. If it truly was something you want back and could make last, then now is the time to make a play for it. If not, then do as the others suggest and just enjoy it while it lasts knowing that it's going to end sometime soon. Or, walk away now before you get in too deep and get hurt again.

"When things were good, did the two of you have anything more than the sex?"Yes but when we traveled ... Away from home base ... There was a friendship for sure. It was always hard to get along with her when we were home because of the distractions ... work ... kids ... ect ...

"You said things were not quite right. How much not right?" From early on there has been indicators ... No support from her family, left her kid with mom, rather sleep in the streets instead of going back home, extremely clingy, made very poor choices while we dated ... When we had long runs together I felt relieved when she would go back to her place ... She was suffocating at times ...

"Something you couldn't have overcome?" I forgave her, but yes some of the choices she made is what kept her from moving in and having her a part of my family. That was one of the last arguments she had "Im good enough to be around you but not your kids and family?" She had that chance and blew it ... So she knew she would never be around like she wanted too until my kids were up and gone.

"And remember, when looking back you tend to remember the good times and forget the problems, so be realistic." This is why I say Male input is ok now ... I am a man of reason. This statement is the realest thing that has been stated yet ... You my friend are absolutely right. Right on the money ...

"Or, walk away now before you get in too deep and get hurt again." This is the better out ... I do not want drama ... I know how life is, everything comes out in the wash. I do not want to be the cause of issues. I once had the attitude "If she gonna fuck around Ill fuck her instead of some one else" Now ... I just do not want the issues that come from that ... she can be some one else's issue ...So as hard as walking away might be, its the best solution.

[Prolongus]

Are you not giving her a donation and cumming like Old Faithful? Doesn't sound like much of a problem to me...sounds like nirvana.

It also sounds like the other guy is the one with the problem...which might be on the way to a HUGE problem if he's a hobbyist now that she knows his real-world shit.

[iamselfmade]

Originally Posted by pyramider

You used each other, pretty simple.

Indeed ...

[doug_dfw]

Originally Posted by iamselfmade

A question about love or lust ...

I know I just fucked up. A relationship of 5 years ... down the toilet. On a diffrent note I held this little fine chica close to heart. Divorced and she found me, rebound if you will. Great friendship and lots of hot sex. Recently she got serious ... very serious ... marriage, kids, move in Ect... But things were not all quite right. So now she is mad, have not spoke to her in months and she calls me out the blue just to tell me she is seeing someone else and that "I fucked up" that she met his family and they met her family. Then she comes over ... we fucked like rabbits, all night ... then in between days, same story ... calls late at night, txt late at night telling me how I fucked up... then she buys me a ring for xmas ... we fuck ... repeat ... My heart cares for her so its been hard to just cut her loose. I know I have been her crutch and she has been mine ...

So the question is this. In a females point of view, what is she doing? What is the meaning of what she is doing ...

And more so ... do I let her be ... let her give 1 hun to her so called "relationship" and take myself out of the equation?

And is this a SURE indicator that when she was "unhappy" with me that she was doing the same thing?

-Iamselfmade

Save yourself. You two are not a match and since you seek counsel here, double that observation. Move on.