As an infrequent client, you will have to change your thinking to match the ladies who view you as a viable client.
There are three kinds of providers: there are newbie friendly ladies like myself who will screen you without the need for references, and will take the time to make sure she's comfortable with you. Then there are the ladies who need the reference/review/verification system for a quicker date who will not take the chance on meeting you if you're trying to meet them with little notice. Then there are the ladies who will take a chance on you because they'll take the chance on anyone, so you're not assured a safe or quality visit.
There's no surety in just being verified. The ladies who are skeptical of meeting you have every right to be. You will have to do your research, trust a lady to screen you, and be a reference for you. Especially if you plan on continuing to be an infrequent client.
Happy hunting!