Compliments: Both sides

[Sir Lancehernot]

Two questions for both sides of the aisle here:

What types of compliments do you think your session partner likes to hear?

And what kind of compliments do you like to hear from your session partner?

I'm finding as I get older that I'm more prone to enjoying (and maybe, just a little) believing compliments of a non-sexual nature.

And, in turn, I'm finding that I'm focusing my compliments on various characteristics that I perceive in my lady friends-for-an-hour that don't relate to the physical activities we've engaged in. Of course, I don't think any woman tires of hearing that she's beautiful, but, after that, I start looking for personality, class, compassion, intelligence ...

One reason, I think, is that I'm projecting my feelings, rightly or wrongly, onto my companions.

Another is that I've had a few occasions when a lady has provided a window into some of the emotional issues that being a provider has brought her; in case they have similar feelings, I hope it helps, and, if not, then I think it's always nice to pay a compliment to someone when you can.

Basically, for the ladies, I think it boils down to whether, in the context of the hobby, you'd rather hear compliments you on how you do your job, or on the person that your client perceives you to be.

And for the guys, it's whether you'd rather hear what a stud you are, or that you're a nice guy (with the potential for an perceiving there to be an unspoken "but ..." as the next phrase.

Or do you really not give a care at all, so long as both parties to the transaction got what they, er, came for?

[SD2011]

Nice post. I know some of the gals are very proficient in the bedroom and I do compliment them on that yet also for what they are outside of that act. Some of these gals are far more than a romp in the hay (intelligent, good hearts, crazy funny, etc). I appreciate that.

For me, the bedroom part is less important (I don't need to hear about me/stud junk etc). I'm comfortable with what I am and what I'm not. Just being decent (or acknowledged as such by a lady/provider) is good enough for me.

[Looking41today]

I personally would like every lady I see to think of me as one of the nicer, more respectful guys she sees. I'm never going be the world's greatest fuck session to any of the ladies. But I would like them to think of me as someone who didn't just come in and get theirs, but as someone who tried really hard to please them sexually and treated them with class, was interested in their thoughts and ideas and also in whatever they want to share and open up about during our session.

[Eva Damita]

I loooove men of all types, so I find one or two assets and compliment him on. Im a sucker for a good kisser and will always compliment on kissing skills.

[LucadeJure]

Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

Two questions for both sides of the aisle here:

What types of compliments do you think your session partner likes to hear?
See you next Tuesday, same time, same place, same donation.

And what kind of compliments do you like to hear from your session partner?
Oh yes babe, see you next week.

I'm finding as I get older that I'm more prone to enjoying (and maybe, just a little) believing compliments of a non-sexual nature.

And, in turn, I'm finding that I'm focusing my compliments on various characteristics that I perceive in my lady friends-for-an-hour that don't relate to the physical activities we've engaged in. Of course, I don't think any woman tires of hearing that she's beautiful, but, after that, I start looking for personality, class, compassion, intelligence ...
And that is the basic reason I repeat with some ladies.

One reason, I think, is that I'm projecting my feelings, rightly or wrongly, onto my companions.
Quite understandable. She just provided you with the most intimate experience we humans can have, the sexual release. In the post-coital afterglow, most men lower their defensive shields.

Another is that I've had a few occasions when a lady has provided a window into some of the emotional issues that being a provider has brought her; in case they have similar feelings, I hope it helps, and, if not, then I think it's always nice to pay a compliment to someone when you can.
I agree that emotional baggage, on both sides of the aisle, may be shared. But, I have learned that I can only offer solace, empathy, and a shoulder to lean on for a brief time. Bringing my issues to her attention is something I try not to do ... but sometimes, in a moment of weakness, I fail. Especially since I am fortunate enough to spend OTC time with some of the ladies ... that is when the defensive shield can crumble because of the comfort level.

Basically, for the ladies, I think it boils down to whether, in the context of the hobby, you'd rather hear compliments you on how you do your job, or on the person that your client perceives you to be.
In my brief time with a lady I never assume I have any genuine insight into what makes her tick. Since I'm a repeat offender with some ladies I do wonder whether I'm in the presence of her true personality as the Provider-Client relationship progresses.

And for the guys, it's whether you'd rather hear what a stud you are, or that you're a nice guy (with the potential for an perceiving there to be an unspoken "but ..." as the next phrase.
I would love to hear what a stud I am or that I keep myself in great shape for my age, or that I have great stamina, yada, yada, yada ... but that doesn't happen. Besides, compared to the studs these ladies can attract in their Real Lives, I'm just a nerd client.

Or do you really not give a care at all, so long as both parties to the transaction got what they, er, came for?

This is the crossroads I have reached. In the past I invested heavily in the emotional side of the Hobby ... that proved an unwise investment decision.

The core around which your questions revolve is the fact that each of us, on both sides of the aisle, operate under an assumed identity. And, in many cases an assumed personality. Therein lies the conflict ... How much of the real person behind Luca do I reveal?

[Jessica Jade]

I always value compliments on my intelligence and sense of humor. I'm also a sucker for the same two things. There's nothing like a smart man that can make me laugh (and doesn't have to try hard at it)

[Prolongus]

I don't tell a girl very often she's Special, but when I do, I mean it for more than the sex.
Usually it's a girl I've seen several times so by now we've shared info on each other.

I'll never forget the look on a fav of mine a few years ago when I asked if anybody told her today how Special she is. It was if nobody ever said that to her. Corny as hell, I know.

[Eva Damita]

Originally Posted by Prolongus

I don't tell a girl very often she's Special, but when I do, I mean it for more than the sex.
Usually it's a girl I've seen several times so by now we've shared info on each other.

I'll never forget the look on a fav of mine a few years ago when I asked if anybody told her today how Special she is. It was if nobody ever said that to her. Corny as hell, I know.

That was probably her first time hearing that. A compliment goes a long way.

[Sir Lancehernot]

Originally Posted by Prolongus

I'll never forget the look on a fav of mine a few years ago when I asked if anybody told her today how Special she is. It was if nobody ever said that to her.

You know, based on my limited experience with women I have wanted to see again, I've found that it's not uncommon for them to be very receptive to such comments. Sometimes such receptiveness has been part of the game to reel me in, but, for those for whom it's been more genuine, it wouldn't surprise me at all that, for whatever reason, they don't hear such things regularly. Usually, it's the providers who provide some validation for their clients, but sometimes it works the other way.