I am not sure why you see this as incredulous. For a local lady I would agree--but if a lady is paying to travel, and has non-refundable room reservations, I don't see a deposit as an unreasonable request. There are certain cites where NC/NS from guys is rampant (DC comes to mind, but there are more). Not sure why you think she should take all the financial risk.
Obviously before I send a lady a deposit I would make sure she is legit, and there are only a few I want to see bad enough to do that, but it is no more incredulous that a guy saying, "Put up a few hundred in tickets and rooms, and trust me, I'll probably show up".
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