Don't Try This at Home

[sooner70]

A young country boy married a girl from the city and was taking her out to her new home on the farm. They were enjoying the ride in a wagon pulled by a mule when suddenly the mule stopped and refused to take another step. The farm boy called out to the mule, "That's once!". With that, the mule went on another half-mile and stopped again. The farm boy jumped off the wagon, grabbed a 3 ft long 2"X4" out of the wagon and began to "massage" the mule's head with the wood. After about 5 minutes, the boy jumped back into the wagon, yelled, "Giddy-up" and off they went. The new bride was absolutely horrified at the events and told the farm boy in no uncertain terms she would not give herself to a man who was so cruel to animals. The boy glared at his new bride a few moments then said, "That's once".

[Sweet N Little]

[i'va biggen]

Like-What makes your wife hot?
Wiping my dick on the drapes after we are finished.

[MooneyFlyer]

That's the old joke about the Brit, the Frenchman, and Texas talking about what their women enjoy:

Brit -- She loves the cane, makes her gush
Frechman -- Rose petals in the bed take her to heaven
Texan -- I wipe my dick on the curtains, drives her absolutely fucking nuts . . .

[jbravo_123]

Or the old Southern joke:

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothin', you did done tole' her twice."

[i'va biggen]

Old southern song"She broke my heart so I broke her jaw"

[cptjohnstone]

Originally Posted by i'va biggen

Old southern song"She broke my heart so I broke her jaw"

"She got the gold, I got the shaft" a song written by Tim Dubois, a guy I worked with in college.

He also wrote "Love in the first degree" and just retired from being the producer for Brooks and Dunn

[mikkifine]

I love being single. LOL!