Sick of Spending/Consumerism

[Zabrina Sarafina]

*Now this rant is going to sound unbelievable coming from a marketeer (and a woman)...but it's truly Really how I feel*

So we are again middle of that crazy spending season...and you better be spending or the economy will collapse stocks will crash ppl will lose jobs oh no!


A year ago I looked into my closet...full of teenagy clothes...outdated fashions...stuff I overspent on because I never/rarely wore...and I'm thinking of this disease...and it is a disease...I had back then...where if I felt lonely I went shopping, I felt bored I went shopping for someThing to entertain me bedazzle me, cheer me up...something pretty and New. So I brought it home...always something expensive...added it to my collection of barely used clothes in the closet...waiting for the right time to come so I could wear it. Time never came/comes...

So now I'm looking inside my closet feeling this heavy burden...I take a garbage bag start throwing more than half my closet in there, sorting out what could be sold, donated, or just dumped. I had to get rid of as much as possible.

After getting rid of all that Junk, I feel so much lighter, better, free..


I told myself then no more stupid compulsive emotional shopping.

And I made good on that promise, by avoiding the mall completely for months - that was the only way I could control myself.

Fast forward to last spring/summer...and the cycle began again. I felt like a new person and to make the image of this new character strong I had to re-vamp my entire wardrobe. So I dropped a shitload of money into my favorite designers.

I felt good, I felt guilty but justified my spending by saying my happiness is worth it.
Because I was still trying to hit my savings goal I had to work even more so I could keep shopping and buying clothes for this new persona. I was happy when I hit all my goals - bills no problem - savings - shopping - yayy but miserable stressed overwhelmed...trying to figure out how I could make more because there was still so much shopping to do...the stores kept coming out with new pretty things I needed for my collection.

Then this fall I finally collapsed. I just quit. Shopping. I felt so disgusting and fed-up. Funny at the same time at my job I was working on a marketing plan with my team to launch this heating/cooling unit and I was head of my team, I enjoyed the responsibility, of the creative design, and doing the research....I was working in all my personal time as well studying researching reading up on all the top marketing gurus...getting deeper into the mind of the consumer, all kinds of strategies...er brainwashing....I was giving lectures...I thought this is where I belong...I'm so glad I found my niche.

And then...I quit.

It's like a switch turned off, my whole perspective did a 360

All this advertising we're bombarded with 24/7....that snickers bar...another new mac...nikes...coach purse....closet organizers to hold all your junk in a neat orderly fashion lol

all the work that goes into it

to make ppl spend spend keep spending enough keep spending more

people struggling to make ends meet...because the list of wants is infinite

People lining up in the freezing cold overnight for black friday deals...more junk



And it never ends. Why do you use materialistic things to fill that empty void? Why do you need to drop thousands for a ring, fancy wedding in order to live happily ever after with the love of your life to make her happy...and of course show off to people your wealth...

We are never satisfied. Nor can we quite figure out exactly what it is we lack that produces this ache of dissatisfaction.

The American way of life has degenerated into a crisis of addiction, with most of us trying to fill the void within us with whatever promises to take away the angst of existence so common to us in the West, however temporarily. We crave something beyond our experience, and the pain of that longing haunts us in every lonely moment, every empty victory, every success or acquisition which can only disappoint us when the smoke of novelty clears and we find ourselves alone again with our dissatisfaction.

The great Buddhist scripture, The Dhammapada , tells us that "from craving arises sorrow and from craving arises fear."

What is wealth anyway?

Is it a huge endless supply of money energy to give you the purchasing power to keep buying your happiness..

But what if you're a cheapskate, you live frugally, and never indulge in all the materialistic pleasures of a physical existence...are you better healthier than all those other materialistic people? Are you happier?

I don't know.

I feel there is a delicate balance to all of this...

But I've reached a stage where I'm beginning to see in a new light...what I really value; experiences, my love for traveling, connections with people...I stay from random shopping...but it's like whenever I'm visiting a new place and I ask for advice on what to do...all ppl can tell me is about all the shopping and restaurants shopping and restaurants...you've got to be fucking kiddin...!

it seems so easy...you've wanted that car for so long and now you can finally buy it - because it will make you so happy, you're walking through the mall - (which makes me sick to my stomach now btw) and you see this nice suit...you immediately think how you'll FEEL wearing it...see how this disease works?

You can't even watch mtv vh1 for the music because of those stupid celebrity shows where they take you on a tour of their homes, closets...and it's so disgusting...makes me sick...how that money could have been spent somewhere else...

Then you see and hear of those "silent" people struggling not to meet their wants but their basic needs...it's so funny...here you are spending 10k on your christmas vacation getaway ...and there's ppl out there trying to figure out how they'll afford food, rent, for another week

I'm not sure how I feel about it.

It's like the caste system in india

thanks for reading my crazy rant. i'm sure it's just part of my seasonal depression

[Guest123018-4]

Spending and or consumerism is basically a conditioned and learned response. Coupled with planned obsolescence and relentless advertising, you are conditioned to have to have the latest and greatest or you are not cool. I just love the cell phone commercial that lambasts the Iphone buyers for constantly having to buy the next one that comes out with the ear plug on the bottom or wherever.

I should have bought all the apple stock I could when they came out with the ipod.
Suckers

[Randy4Candy]

Well, hmmmmm - it seems to me from reading the only two posts on this provoking thread that I can see two different takes on consumerism. Of course, this has been something that has been bandied about for decades, hell, centuries. I suppose that we can look at people as marks and suckers or go deep and see them as merely weak and undisciplined.

The most troubling thing I read in the OP's "rant" and, a good rant it is, was the bit about things people would tell her about as "attractions" when she was in a new location. That is pretty sad. Of course women and clothes is something I don't even begin to fathom and it's smart on my part not to even go there. But, there is always some good advice I received when young and have tried to adhere to with varying degrees of success, whether it be furniture, clothes, tools or vehicles: "buy quality, timeless and classic - and you won't have to buy often." This, however, means that the satisfaction is derived from sturdy craftsmanship and design instead of new and shiny.

[Out_of_Bounds]

Originally Posted by Zabrina Sarafina

*Now this rant is going to sound unbelievable coming from a marketeer (and a woman)...but it's truly Really how I feel*

So we are again middle of that crazy spending season...and you better be spending or the economy will collapse stocks will crash ppl will lose jobs oh no!


A year ago I looked into my closet...full of teenagy clothes...outdated fashions...stuff I overspent on because I never/rarely wore...and I'm thinking of this disease...and it is a disease...I had back then...where if I felt lonely I went shopping, I felt bored I went shopping for someThing to entertain me bedazzle me, cheer me up...something pretty and New. So I brought it home...always something expensive...added it to my collection of barely used clothes in the closet...waiting for the right time to come so I could wear it. Time never came/comes...

So now I'm looking inside my closet feeling this heavy burden...I take a garbage bag start through more than half my closet in there, sorting out what could be sold, donated, or just dumped. I had to get rid of as much as possible.

After getting rid of all that Junk, I feel so much lighter, better, free..


I told myself then no more stupid compulsive emotional shopping.

And I made good on that promise, by avoiding the mall completely for months - that was the only way I could control myself.

Fast forward to last spring/summer...and the cycle began again. I felt like a new person and to make the image of this new character strong I had to re-vamp my entire wardrobe. So I dropped a shitload of money into my favorite designers.

I felt good, I felt guilty but justified my spending by saying my happiness is worth it.
Because I was still trying to hit my savings goal I had to work even more so I could keep shopping and buying clothes for this new persona. I was happy when I hit all my goals - bills no problem - savings - shopping - yayy but miserable stressed overwhelmed...trying to figure out how I could make more because there was still so much shopping to do...the stores kept coming out with new pretty things I needed for my collection.

Then this fall I finally collapsed. I just quit. Shopping. I felt so disgusting and fed-up. Funny at the same time at my job I was working on a marketing plan with my team to launch this heating/cooling unit and I was head of my team, I enjoyed the responsibility, of the creative design, and doing the research....I was working in all my personal time as well studying researching reading up on all the top marketing gurus...getting deeper into the mind of the consumer, all kinds of strategies...er brainwashing....I was giving lectures...I thought this is where I belong...I'm so glad I found my niche.

And then...I quit.

It's like a switch turned off, my whole perspective did a 360

All this advertising we're bombarded with 24/7....that snickers bar...another new mac...nikes...coach purse....closet organizers to hold all your junk in a neat orderly fashion lol

all the work that goes into it

to make ppl spend spend keep spending enough keep spending more

people struggling to make ends meet...because the list of wants is infinite

People lining up in the freezing cold overnight for black friday deals...more junk



And it never ends. Why do you use materialistic things to fill that empty void? Why do you need to drop thousands for a ring, fancy wedding in order to live happily ever after with the love of your life to make her happy...and of course show off to people your wealth...

We are never satisfied. Nor can we quite figure out exactly what it is we lack that produces this ache of dissatisfaction.

The American way of life has degenerated into a crisis of addiction, with most of us trying to fill the void within us with whatever promises to take away the angst of existence so common to us in the West, however temporarily. We crave something beyond our experience, and the pain of that longing haunts us in every lonely moment, every empty victory, every success or acquisition which can only disappoint us when the smoke of novelty clears and we find ourselves alone again with our dissatisfaction.

The great Buddhist scripture, The Dhammapada , tells us that "from craving arises sorrow and from craving arises fear."

What is wealth anyway?

Is it a huge endless supply of money energy to give you the purchasing power to keep buying your happiness..

But what if you're a cheapskate, you live frugally, and never indulge in all the materialistic pleasures of a physical existence...are you better healthier than all those other materialistic people? Are you happier?

I don't know.

I feel there is a delicate balance to all of this...

But I've reached a stage where I'm beginning to see in a new light...what I really value; experiences, my love for traveling, connections with people...I stay from random shopping...but it's like whenever I'm visiting a new place and I ask for advice on what to do...all ppl can tell me is about all the shopping and restaurants shopping and restaurants...you've got to be fucking kiddin...!

it seems so easy...you've wanted that car for so long and now you can finally buy it - because it will make you so happy, you're walking through the mall - (which makes me sick to my stomach now btw) and you see this nice suit...you immediately think how you'll FEEL wearing it...see how this disease works?

You can't even watch mtv vh1 for the music because of those stupid celebrity shows where they take you on a tour of their homes, closets...and it's so disgusting...makes me sick...how that money could have been spent somewhere else...

Then you see and hear of those "silent" people struggling not to meet their wants but their basic needs...it's so funny...here you are spending 10k on your christmas vacation getaway ...and there's ppl out there trying to figure out how they'll afford food, rent, for another week

I'm not sure how I feel about it.

It's like the caste system in india

thanks for reading my crazy rant. i'm sure it's just part of my seasonal depression

Now here is one with potential.
I might just follow through with what I've been contemplating.

[CuteOldGuy]

Excellent and thought provoking insight, Zabrina! Thank you for the post!

[Guest032516]

Spending money on escorts is one of the most frivolous consumerist spending examples I can think of.

Will you be reducing your hourly rate from $300 to $100. It is a step in the right direction, you know.

Also, please get rid of the music on your website or put a big easy to spot "mute" button right on the home page. Many potential customers browse your website from work. Are you trying to get them in trouble?

[Out_of_Bounds]

Originally Posted by ExNYer

Spending money on escorts is one of the most frivolous consumerist spending examples I can think of.

Will you be reducing your hourly rate from $300 to $100. It is a step in the right direction, you know.

Also, please get rid of the music on your website or put a big easy to spot "mute" button right on the home page. Many potential customers browse your website from work. Are you trying to get them in trouble?

Fuck that! Come to Houston and break me out of retirement!
300 an hour ain't bad.
Any chick with libertine in her web address is a chick I'd like to hop into bed with.

[Zabrina Sarafina]

[QUOTE=Randy4Candy;1051980942]I suppose that we can look at people as marks and suckers or go deep and see them as merely weak and undisciplined.

I don't like using any of those labels...but the reality we have created revolves around making a living from the above

The most troubling thing I read in the OP's "rant" and, a good rant it is, was the bit about things people would tell her about as "attractions" when she was in a new location. That is pretty sad.

Yes...I'm from Chicago, I'm trying to Escape shopping & restaurants when I travel...I want to see the art culture history the people outdoors...whatever they have that I have not yet experienced!

Of course women and clothes is something I don't even begin to fathom and it's smart on my part not to even go there.

I don't why women are more to prone to spending...perhaps something to do with vanity and being self-centered. There I said it :P

But, there is always some good advice I received when young and have tried to adhere to with varying degrees of success, whether it be furniture, clothes, tools or vehicles: "buy quality, timeless and classic - and you won't have to buy often." This, however, means that the satisfaction is derived from sturdy craftsmanship and design instead of new and shiny.

Well yes...I do tend to buy quality timeless classic.......but I keep buying

With my lack of "discipline"...therefore I completely avoid malls as much as possible. My threshold of control when I see something I WANT is zero. Life's not about resisting temptations...right. Oops wrong point[/QUOTE]

Originally Posted by The2Dogs

I just love the cell phone commercial that lambasts the Iphone buyers for constantly having to buy the next one that comes out with the ear plug on the bottom or wherever.

I have never spent and never will on anything apple. Until they're done taking over the world leaving me with no other option

I should have bought all the apple stock I could when they came out with the ipod.
Suckers

Originally Posted by Out_of_Bounds

Now here is one with potential.
I might just follow through with what I've been contemplating.

Uh oh...should I be concerned?

Originally Posted by CuteOldGuy

Excellent and thought provoking insight, Zabrina! Thank you for the post!

Was that sarcasm?

Originally Posted by ExNYer

Spending money on escorts is one of the most frivolous consumerist spending examples I can think of.

Agree. At least it has stress relieving health benefits

Will you be reducing your hourly rate from $300 to $100. It is a step in the right direction, you know.

The step in the right direction would be to increase your spending to increase my spending

Also, please get rid of the music on your website or put a big easy to spot "mute" button right on the home page. Many potential customers browse your website from work. Are you trying to get them in trouble?

All of my PAYING clients compliment me on my taste of music.

Originally Posted by Out_of_Bounds

Fuck that! Come to Houston and break me out of retirement!
300 an hour ain't bad.
Any chick with libertine in her web address is a chick I'd like to hop into bed with.

Thanks I like you too though I don't believe beliefs are daaangerous. You'll have haveta explain that one to me. I believe having strong core beliefs provide the guidance and support to reach fullest potential

[CuteOldGuy]

LOL! No, Zabrina, that wasn't sarcasm. I genuinely thought your post was intelligent and thought provoking. Seriously!

I only get sarcastic with the lunatics on here. And even if you were a lunatic, which you aren't, you are too gorgeous for me to be sarcastic with you.

[Randy4Candy]

Originally Posted by Zabrina Sarafina

But, there is always some good advice I received when young and have tried to adhere to with varying degrees of success, whether it be furniture, clothes, tools or vehicles: "buy quality, timeless and classic - and you won't have to buy often." This, however, means that the satisfaction is derived from sturdy craftsmanship and design instead of new and shiny.

Well yes...I do tend to buy quality timeless classic.......but I keep buying LOL, time to work on "new and shiny" part, hee hee!

With my lack of "discipline"...therefore I completely avoid malls as much as possible. My threshold of control when I see something I WANT is zero. Life's not about resisting temptations...right. Oops wrong point Well, we can go with another cliche' here, "nothing worthwhile is easy."

On the bright side of all this is the fact that you are young and realize that at least some tweaking of your approach is needed which indicates that you can also count. Since you are involved in marketing, you are uniquely aware at a more intense level of what buttons get pushed to foster jonesing for possessions. Maybe you need to create a personal marketing program against what drives your own brand of consumerism. You are younger and see the need to make changes. You seem to have the smarts and desire implement them. You will fail - welcome to the human race - at times. BFD, stay hooked to your plan and realize that the trap closes tightest when you think you've "won."

Since you're footloose and fancy free, come down to the DFW area while it's cold up north, even if it's just on the way to warmer places. The airports here have flights to almost as many places that O'Hare does. And, the roads go to NYC, LA, Seattle and the tip of South America.

[Guest040616]

Originally Posted by Zabrina Sarafina

Was that sarcasm?

Originally Posted by CuteOldGuy

LOL! No, Zabrina, that wasn't sarcasm. I genuinely thought your post was intelligent and thought provoking. Seriously!

I only get sarcastic with the lunatics on here. And even if you were a lunatic, which you aren't, you are too gorgeous for me to be sarcastic with you.

Zabrina, it was a blatant attempt from StupidOldFart to "suck up!" Since he is incapable of dazzling the lady's with his wealth, good looks or brilliance, sucking up seems to be the only way he is able to win a lady's favor! Other than that, if sucking up doesn't work, he has very few options left!

However, if you're looking to be baffled with his bullshit, StupidOldFart is your guy!

[Whirlaway]

COG was serious, while also being a polite gentleman; a technique that get's women's attention and affections...Give it a try BigTex you might enjoy it. But COG was likely raised to be a gentleman, and you BigTex ?

Your dismissive observations on politeness and gentleman behavior is telling.

[CuteOldGuy]

Ah, BigTurd. At least you look nice with that 10 gallon hat on a 5 gallon head.

And Zabrina is gorgeous! And now it appears that she is intelligent and introspective as well. I'm not sucking up, just stating a fact. But if it appears that I am sucking up, and it works, then I'm all for it!

I was just in Chicago, and had I known then what I know now, I would have expressed my appreciation for her in person. Next time I'm in Chicago, I definitely will!

And I'm not ashamed to show my respect for the ladies on here. I appreciate what they do and understand what a hard job it is. I would never put them down for what they do. You're right about one thing, BigTurd, I would never have a lady with the looks and class that Zabrina has give me a second look were it not for her profession. That is one of the best things about this hobby.

[Doove]

Originally Posted by CuteOldGuy

And even if you were a lunatic, which you aren't, you are too gorgeous for me to be sarcastic with you.

Hopefully her next rant will be about guys who trip over themselves sucking up to ladies based solely on their looks.

[KCJoe]

I see the news stories about all the people out shopping on Black Friday (Thursday) and think to myself, what a bunch of idiots. Spending money they don't have, on products that they don't need, for people who don't care.

I quit spending money on christmas years ago and I have my home paid for to show for it.