Sexless Marriages...Why? I don't get it.

[TheAntichrist666]

Why? A marriage without sex to me, is like a sandwich without the bread or a taco without the tortilla. I have buddies that are older and married and a lot of them are going through this. They look very very frustrated to me : (

[WiLsOn]

"Marriage is the death of hope!"

[bistraight69]

I feel that the decline in martial sex begins after a woman has children. Some woman feel that they get all of the love they need from the child or children rather than from their husband. Some woman just don't have the same desire or drive for sex, which could be due to hormone changes. Some are just to tired and overwhelmed or could have postpartum depression. Some women feel intimidated by their new strange bodies. Insecurity sets in, due to weight gain, stretch marks, extra tummy flab, breast size changes,etc....

Also there is consideration of who your wife's friends are, meaning are they influencing her with their own negativity about sex. If that is the case then she needs find other friends.

[WiLsOn]

Again, "marriage really is the death of hope!!"

[TheAntichrist666]

Good points, I sadly agree.

[LexusLover]

I believe that women do not marry for sex.

And hope men don't either.

[TheAntichrist666]

Isn't sex a part of marriage?

[i'va biggen]

Wedding cake kills a woman's sex drive..

[CuteOldGuy]

It's only a problem if one party wants sex and the other doesn't. If the two people involved are happy, who cares? If they're not, they need counseling or a divorce lawyer.

[WiLsOn]

Originally Posted by CuteOldGuy

It's only a problem if one party wants sex and the other doesn't. If the two people involved are happy, who cares? If they're not, they need counseling or a divorce lawyer.

Or one of the people needs to get a Hobby!

[Poet Laureate]

I've discussed this with friends over beer many times. Here's my take:
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First, when a woman has a baby, and is the primary care giver for the baby, she may find it difficult to cycle from mommy to mistress when her husband gets home and wants to fool around. The husband doesn't understand that she needs to be romanced again, and gets frustrated and angry. And what woman wants to make love with a frustrated, angry man?
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Second, it is well known that women can't compartmentalize as well as men. Even if we know the rent is due tomorrow and we're broke, we can get it up and get it on. Most women can't. They worry about things more than men do, and when they're worrying, they don't want to also be sucking your dick. They're not in the mood because of the worry. This makes the husband frustrated and angry. See the last sentence of #1.
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Third, good point about the changes in their bodies. Most women notice things that their husbands either don't notice, or don't really care about. Most husbands are so grateful just to see their wives naked that a few stretch marks or ten extra pounds won't matter to him. But they matter to her, because she is usually far more attuned to her appearance than we are. So if she doesn't feel good about herself, she can't understand how you COULD, and she puts your desire to make love down to merely being horny, rather than to the fact that you love her and want to express that love in a physical way. Now, many men could still get laid if they were able to express themselves better, but most can't, so they get frustrated and angry. See the end of #1.
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Last, OF COURSE men get married for sex. Other than to have a woman cook and clean for them, which most can't because they have their own careers, the availability and frequency of sex is the biggest reason most men marry. Unfortunately, many women USE the availability and frequency of sex as a way to GET a man to marry them, and then they are surprised when the man gets upset because availability and frequency decline, passion wanes, and the dull routine of daily life takes over. Unless BOTH SIDES work VERY DILIGENTLY at keeping romance alive, the marriage is doomed, because the man will get frustrated and angry. See #1.
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When I got married the first time, my step father told me to get a large jar, and drop a coin, any coin, into the jar every time my wife and I were intimate in the first year of our marriage. Then, on the day following our 1 year anniversary, he said to start removing a coin every time. He said that when the jar was empty, I would know what kind of sex life I'd be having for the rest of my life. It took three years and eight months to empty a jar that had been filled in one year. By the time the jar was empty, intimacy had dropped to about once a month. That made me frustrated and angry. See #1.
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Many men stay in sexless marriages because they have a sugar baby or see providers regularly, and they have a wife they need for social-business occasions. Sometimes they just like their wife as a person, don't want to disrupt the kids' lives, or have financial reasons for staying together. Some men feel guilty about leaving their wives. There are lots of potential reasons to stay in a sexless marriage. For some, none of the reasons are good enough. For others, I offer sympathy and support, and the names of a couple providers I know he'd be attracted to.

[TheAntichrist666]

I totally agree with you Poet Laureate.