Provider references: Whats the point? Clients take heed, it's not enough.

[Calista_Syn]

So, maybe I'm too anal retentive about these things, but when I am contacted by a another provider for a reference, given some kind of memory marker, handle, or ID, to snoop through, I can give an accurate and full reference on my client. Not that it happens often, but when it does, I can say things like "he's a very nice guy, likes it when you XXX" or "I'd see him again, but you gotta be firm about ending the session" or on rare occasion "that guy is an ass". Whatever the case may be..

The problem I've encountered since taking off on tour Thursday, and contacting several different providers for references, is that none, save 1 was actually able to give me anything resembling a strait answer. I will commend Dakota Taurus, as she went back and forth with me and the client on the phone until a well informed and accurate reference was attained. The other 5 so far, who I won't blast, but are all members here, were just ridiculous. Things like "I don't know, I might know him" even when given a substantial amount of information on the visit including intimate details. One girl, a prospective clients latest engagement that was less than 2 weeks old and whos listed number on here and on her website matched what he gave me, just denied it was her phone all together. I'm quite appauled at this behavior. Simply because I feel it is our duty, if we agree to serve as a reference, to provide pertinent information when requested. Our safety and well being depends on it. I've even taken to contacting the last visited provider on their p411 list after a gent with 38 OKs ended up being the worst call ever.. It's just not worth not taking the time to do.

My question if for any provider willing to answer: How do you keep track of your clients in order to provide helpful references to help keep fellow providers safe? For me, I will most likely not remember a name or handle, but will always recall a defining factor (location/date of engagement, appearance, conversation highlights, or most any other memory marker given). How important is it for you to actually speak to a clients reference? Do you skip a voice confirmation if a review if posted?

My advice to hobbiest, (and feel free to comment as well if you have an opinion on the matter) is this: You might really want to consider signing up for p411, at least it's a little extra peace of mind. Maybe start posting reviews, so there is a frame of reference when verifying you. Seriously. Unless you are strictly dealing with women who feel as strongly as I do about these matters, provider references will just not suffice.

[Old-T]

OK, maybe it's time to post this again.

References are WORK. It is as much the guy's responsibility as the lady he's asking to provide a reference. The guys who get most bent out of shape about a lady keeping ANY records are often the same ones who get most bent out of shape when a lady they saw 6 mos ago doesn't remember them.

So--for anyone who cares--here are some simple steps to greatly increase your success with references (nothing is perfect):

1. Treat the original lady nicely. Do SOMETHING that makes youstand out from the crowd. It need not be $10,000 diamond ring special. A distinctive e-mail when you first write her, a distinctive gift (one with some significance to the lady is best): a box of jell-o, a children's bed time book, a box of gourmet dog treats, ...)

2. Before using her as a reference, ASK HER. Even if she said "Sure, use me as a reference!" a year ago, things change. More importantly it jogs her memory if it's been a while. Let her know what lady will contact her about you--some ladies are rightfully concerned if "Miss Suzy" contacts her out of thin air, especially if "Miss Suzy" is from a different town.

3. When your reference confirms all is good, THEN use her as a refernce. If she writes back, "Who in the world are YOU??!!??" you might want to try someone else.

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

Originally Posted by Old-T

OK, maybe it's time to post this again.

References are WORK.

Indeed, as well as a courtesy and not a requirement. That statement alone says alot.

[Calista_Syn]

Originally Posted by Old-T

OK, maybe it's time to post this again.

References are WORK. It is as much the guy's responsibility as the lady he's asking to provide a reference. The guys who get most bent out of shape about a lady keeping ANY records are often the same ones who get most bent out of shape when a lady they saw 6 mos ago doesn't remember them.

So--for anyone who cares--here are some simple steps to greatly increase your success with references (nothing is perfect):

1. Treat the original lady nicely. Do SOMETHING that makes youstand out from the crowd. It need not be $10,000 diamond ring special. A distinctive e-mail when you first write her, a distinctive gift (one with some significance to the lady is best): a box of jell-o, a children's bed time book, a box of gourmet dog treats, ...)

2. Before using her as a reference, ASK HER. Even if she said "Sure, use me as a reference!" a year ago, things change. More importantly it jogs her memory if it's been a while. Let her know what lady will contact her about you--some ladies are rightfully concerned if "Miss Suzy" contacts her out of thin air, especially if "Miss Suzy" is from a different town.

3. When your reference confirms all is good, THEN use her as a refernce. If she writes back, "Who in the world are YOU??!!??" you might want to try someone else.

Perhaps I'm naive when assuming the woman I'm contacting is aware of her name and number being given out as a reference. I do my best not to come across hostile or alarming, always starting with saying "I'm Calista Syn, a verified provider on Eccie" or something of the sorts. Never considered she might be weirded out if it wasn't expected.

[ElisabethWhispers]

I generally follow the "Harlotry Handbook" and don't keep records. Sometimes, it proves to be inconvenient but generally men don't mind that I don't keep records.

So when I give a reference, and I get them quite frequently, someone is going to HAVE to share with me some pretty good information before I can remember them.

And a lot of men will use me as a reference when I haven't seen them for a year or so. When that happens, then I'll have the lady asking ask him where he saw me, describing my room, etc.

While it would be great for everyone to have P411, some of my best clients just don't want to do that. And I completely understand why.

The whole reference thing has always been an interesting dichotomy. There are many ladies who screen themselves but they won't offer up a referral. Or they don't return a call.

Then you have those ladies who will call you back, or answer an e-mail, with really good timing and forethought (I am in this group!). And I find that to be a very good thing.

Elisabeth

[Eva Damita]

Use excell spread sheet. Name, time, donation, other/car, number, and source ... I have it for each city. This lets you keep track.

[Guest080613-2]

I most of the time can remember a gent from handle, name or any other factor of contact or things done for me or conversation or his rear end tattoo sometimes 5 to 10 yrs back. Calista it is very frustrating when u can't get exactly what u are looking for. I miss u so be safe of ur journey, call me if u need me even just to vent and get ur heinie home! Love u chicky!

[pyramider]

All the ladies remember me ... they all laugh at me when they see my whopping package. I swing an impressive 1.3" of limp love.

[Nicolet]

I try to give as much detail as possible, probably more than the other lady expects! But I want to know more than, 'oh, he is a sweetheart'..... I was recently asked about someone who I had seen a year ago. After that much time has passed, memory does fade.
I am happy to give a reference to anyone who needs it.
@ pyramider, your a grow-er not a show-er! Can't fool us!

[shorty]

For some ladies its a matter of competition or hobby $ for not wanting to give out references. Some ladies figure XXXhobbyist is a regular of mine and why should I want him spending his money elsewhere.

[gimme_that]

Originally Posted by Eva Damita

Use excell spread sheet. Name, time, donation, other/car, number, and source ... I have it for each city. This lets you keep track.

This a screening nightmare, way too much info. Hopefully your data you collect and save on your computer is never compromised........

[gimme_that]

Originally Posted by shorty

For some ladies its a matter of competition or hobby $ for not wanting to give out references. Some ladies figure XXXhobbyist is a regular of mine and why should I want him spending his money elsewhere.

Yep they may be getting undercutt rate wise by the reference while she makes a better deal while u wait on her response.

[Tiffani Jameson]

You are correct. That is why I'm newbie friendly, and would rather screen a potential client myself. If you can get a lady to return references, it usually takes a week to get a response, to get 'he's okay' or 'I don't keep records'. It's useless getting them to a point, but I don't mind giving them. And I give them to the lady the way I would want someone to give them to me.

And you bitches that go behind a girl's back after you say 'No, I've never met him', and talk to the client about why you're seeing another girl when they could see you, it really doesn't make you look good.

[Kloie]

Again Tiffani is correct and Shorty has a point too. I can't remeber how many times I have heard "my reg. girl will get mad if she finds out I'm seeing someone else" WTF!!! This hobby is about variety! Variety is the spice of life!!! I don't mind giving a ref. But as far as details I never though the girls wanted to hear details like that. Thanks Calista for bringing it up!


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