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April Cox · 03-20-2013, 04:05 AM

As time passes, one tends to visits with the same people. We all have our ATF's and regulars, people that we just click with and get to know. Humans are social creatures and bonding with other humans is in our nature.

I was thinking of some people that I still see and speak with that I have known for years, and how the bond has become personal, friendship, and not just a work relationship.I tend to share with people more than most, I love my guys, what can I say.

Sometimes bonding with a person with the wrong motive can lead to some one getting burned.

I am curious to know what you guys and ladies think, And what is too personal? Where do you draw the line in how much of your personal thoughts and details that you share?

How close is too close?

Drtry2 · 03-20-2013, 07:02 AM

How close is to close?....It is only revivent to the situation for me. There is one well know popular provider that is my ATF, but I stopped seeing her when I felt I could leave my wife for her. That was to close.

Arverni · 03-20-2013, 07:04 AM

April ... I just think I am a pretty good judge of character. So if I meet someone and I feel comfortable with her - then I pretty much share everything - or anything she cares to ask or know. If I don't feel comfortable with her then I won't. I've never been burned and I've been in more than a few rodeos. You have to have the mentality though - and realize that sometimes you just can't have everything you want. If you can deal with that - then you can get as close as you feel like. If a guy falls in love with a provider - I don't see a problem with it as long as he realizes that there are limits he can't exceed. He can't force the "universe" to comply to his wants and desires - so as long as he can be happy and content with the "boundaries" - it's all good.

My ATF ... I really, really like her a lot - she is more than just an acquaintance to me. I would pick up the phone and talk to her everyday if I could - but that would be interfering too much in her personal life. My donation is for her time (not that "other" thing you know!

) ... so calling her up and taking up her personal time without compensating her is outside the boundaries. I can live with that - because even though I like her a lot - I'm mature enough to live with the boundaries and just enjoy the parts of life that we can share together.

And then again - I'm sometimes known to be completely full of shit! :P

reddy938 · 03-20-2013, 07:31 AM

I have a tendency to seek the GFE more than PSE, so I when I find a down to earth provider with whom I totally click with and who would be the type of woman that I could easily see as a real girlfriend I am hooked.

Yes, there is danger there because on my part the fantasy begins to hide the fact that on the providers part it is more likely just a business arrangement with a likeable hobbiest. Bascially my ATFs are women who satisfy more than my sexual needs. I'm just a hopeless romantic who gets totally involved in the romantic part for an hour or so, then back to reality, but with wonderful memories with a very nice and sexy woman.

jl11 · 03-20-2013, 08:38 AM

April Cox · 03-20-2013, 10:25 AM

Great responses

thanks guys.

If any ladies wanna chime in, that would be awesome too.

You can't help but get to know some one after visiting often over time

thegfegirls · 03-20-2013, 11:09 AM

Well while I am sure my view is not the same as many, I think there is a reason a provider does not use her real name when working, so stepping outside of the professional light into personal can many times be a very bad thing. We have all seen here countless times when provider and client become closer than they should and then the inevitable fallout and two people have wayyyy too much info on each other.
A provider should be a professional and know how to keep things light and fun without having to get personal and a client should know that a provider is working and while it is ok to be friendly to the checkout girl at the grocery, you step over a line when you lend her money, meet her SO, know her full name, or have her private address. It is the same here. If you are seeking something personal then perhaps finding a person who doesn't use a stage name and that you don't pay by the hour is a good place to start because those facts alone should tell you she does not want something personal.
I cannot speak for other providers but with Elves we try and teach them that their stage name is an alter ego, have fun with it, while it is NOT who they really are, it gives them a chance to have the fun and when they are done, turn it off. When a client gets personal and ends up knowing them by their real name, you have just crossed a line you can never come back from. A client who you may think is just a nice guy, could end up outside your home jerking off at 3am and showing up at chuckee cheese while you are having family fun with the kids.
Elves are from all walks of life, but none in their personal life are easy hussies as far as we are concerned. Now in their professional life, we hope they are,lol. If you are able to cross the line easily from your professional life to your personal life, perhaps your personal life needs some work, because if theres little difference from the hussie at work to the woman at home, then why bother with the stage name, just hang a red light on the porch after the kids leave for school and leave the door unlocked!
Remember if you get personal with one client, and not with others, then you are playing favorites and I for one wouldn't come and see you anymore, because if your treating the other guy special and not me, while I am paying the same money.. then you aint worth my time or dime. Every client wants to be special, so no clients are going to agree with what I have said here because in the end many want the same thing.. that ATF "friend" who does a little extra with them for a little less, cant blame the guys, but providers should know better.. us men think with our cocks and wallets.. providers should be thinking for us. If a guy find you here he is finding a PROFESSIONAL , don't give that up, cuz it may be the only protection you have against ending up in a bad way.

johnathan · 03-20-2013, 11:34 AM

That is the smartest thing you said so far...

CaptainQ · 03-20-2013, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thegfegirls

if your treating the other guy special and not me, while I am paying the same money.. then you aint worth my time or dime.

Agree with most of what you said except this one. Some people just click better, making the whole experience better for the provider and she may enjoy doing things a little differently for some. It may seem like she's is giving preferences to one client and perhaps it is true. But as long as she's providing a certain standard to all, I don't see any major problems with it.

So, treating one guy a little better than others may not be fair, but that's life, even as a paying customer. I'm sure I've been on both sides of the coin and I have no problem with it, most of the time I know going in that was my risk and I was willing take the lower end if I knew what the lower limit was (but I guess that part is the key). Shit happens all the time in RL.

thegfegirls · 03-20-2013, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptainQ

Agree with most of what you said except this one. Some people just click better, making the whole experience better for the provider and she may enjoy doing things a little differently for some. It may seem like she's is giving preferences to one client and perhaps it is true. But as long as she's providing a certain standard to all, I don't see any major problems with it.

So, treating one guy a little better than others may not be fair, but that's life, even as a paying customer. I'm sure I've been on both sides of the coin and I have no problem with it, most of the time I know going in that was my risk and I was willing take the lower end if I knew what the lower limit was (but I guess that part is the key). Shit happens all the time in RL.

Not exactly the "special" I was speaking of.. Not going to put out details so don't ask but not too long ago , a certain board known providers version of special meant lack of latex (their own words). My comments were on what some of her "other" clients might say... me , id say sell the stds to someone else thanks, if I want an std they are free on Plank Rd.

**my comments are in NO way directed at the OP, I don't know her.

ilovedatass · 03-20-2013, 03:04 PM

Century43 · 03-21-2013, 06:47 AM

I understand both sides of this topic and agree that a provider and client relationship should always have a level of professionalism. From time to time two people meet and they just click and form a friendship. This is happen in all industries and yes it does come with some risk. My thoughts are if two people are mature enough, can separate the two and respect the boundaries so be it.

DallasRain · 03-21-2013, 09:18 AM

I have one guy that i have a special connection with....and i always tell him that if i am "ever single again",I would marry him! lol
I could never love anyone the way I love my main guy.....he has been with me for over 30 years and is my soul mate.......................... ............but I think there are different levels of love in certain situations....I feel that there is a special connection between that client & me.he knows stuff about me that i choose to tell him due to a high trust factor.......I do have alot of other regular clients that I feel close to also.

April Cox · 03-21-2013, 06:04 PM

I'm with you Dallas, sometimes there is a click, and it is not unprofessional to have other conversation besides just work. This biz is more that just sexual, it can also be about conversation and being able to be a real escort, go out into public places and carry yourself with character on an extended dinner date or out of town trip, keeping it professional and allowing it be personal and intimate at the same time.

LovelyLolita · 03-22-2013, 04:55 PM

So many people view GFE as just she is gonna BBBJ, or she is gonna let you DATY, CFS,....ect. What you probably dont realize is its sooo much more than that. Providers have to be open minded with the gentleman. Allow a conversation to start that will seduce the mind, allow you to laugh freely and have a good time. Of course we must keep certain details confidential to protect ourselves, but beyond that we're people too. So when two people are in this type of environment and they click,....well yeah a type of relationship will ensue. It can be as personal as you let it as long as you respect the boundaries, and as long as you are having fun. Thats the point right? To enjoy ones self.