Just Wondering

[bob1962]

I ran into a old girlfriend a few weeks ago this is the woman that helped me get out of a loveless and long term marriage and also got me into this hobby. Now I can't get her out of my head both of us have grown some since we last saw each other over a year ago>
My question is has anyone else been threw this I realized I still love this woman. I know I will always love my ex but I feel like I will always love this woman too?

[Chica Chaser]

Originally Posted by bob1962

I ran into a old girlfriend a few weeks ago this is the woman that helped me get out of a loveless and long term marriage and also got me into this hobby. Now I can't get her out of my head both of us have grown some since we last saw each other over a year ago>
My question is has anyone else been threw this I realized I still love this woman. I know I will always love my ex but I feel like I will always love this woman too?

Bob, Is the lady a provider? Since you said she got you into the hobby I assume so. What were the circumstances of you stopping seeing her originally? Do you have any idea of how she feels about you then and now?

In any event, you should probably contact her again and more or less lay it on the table. Let her know how you feel, she either feels similarly or not. I would trust that she would give you a signal one way or another. IF she's a provider AND she agrees to see you; you will be able tell a lot if she charges you or not. If its a date off the clock, she's interested. If its on the clock, you are just another client to her.

[guest092513]

Bob I am a little confused you said she helped you out of a "loveless" marriage. Are you meaning sexless?. Because you close your post by saying you will always love your ex

[Transplanted2tex]

If your ex GF is a provider, then things get VERY complicated, because you once had a relationship outside the hobby, but your current relationship may be as hobbyist/provider. I would ask her out socially, and if it turns out well, then pursue it. However, if it doesn't, don't try to see her again as a client. I don't have much experience in the hobby, but I would think that it's too easy to mistake a professional hobby relationship from a personal one if you're trying to do both. A provider told me of a client she ended up dating who eventually went psycho on her. I'm not saying you'll go crazy and turn into a stalker, or that it's impossible for a provider and a client to become romantically involved. I'm saying the odds are against you, and it has the potential to turn into an unhealthy situation for both parties. However, if I misread your post, and your ex GF is NOT a provider, then disregard what I said and just give her a call. Either way, love is a risk, but always worth taking. Just be prepared for the consequences.

[XXXRooster]

.2
Ask her out, all she can say is no.

[malacara]

Let her know what your feelings are towards her. If it doesn't work out then I'd stop seeing her as a provider only because it could be rather confusing and can carry on for a long time. I was in a simular situation a few years back, I have an x and still love her but more like a sister. I would ask my friends for their opionions but all I really was after was hearing what I hoped I wanted to hear. A conformation of sorts. The old saying, life is too short is true. Hoping the best for you man.

[SofaKingFun]

With all due respect bob1962, given the information you've provided, I'd strongly advise you to take a step back and objectively look at your situation.
(Keyword; objectively)

I thinck that you need to accurately assess whether the feelings you have for this person are, in fact, love, or rather an infatuation. I'd also suggest that you evaluate whether or not this might be a case of transfererence.

Just my suggestion.

Good luck.



_________________

[Transplanted2tex]

Originally Posted by malacara

. . . all I really was after was hearing what I hoped I wanted to hear. A conformation of sorts. . . .

Malacara makes a good point. Sometimes when we ask for advice we just want confirmation for what we're going to do anyway. I know I've done that plenty of times, especially in matters of love. Bottom line, decide what you're going to do, commit to it, and hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. There are few things worse than pondering the path not chosen.