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runswithscissors · 03-31-2010, 12:48 PM

In todays ups and downs of life, if you have had a bad day, need a little smile, and can laugh at yourself, this is for you............Walking up to the front door of my appointment, the door slowly opens, and there she is; a vision in a short silk robe slightly open to reveal an oh so barely there camsole and tap pants; a smile as she steps back to welcome me, trips in her high heels and lands flat on her back! The ice is broken; we laugh and continue on to the bedroom; laying there, kissing, moaning, twisting, yes, my "A" game, I think, until she tells me that the belt to her robe is wrapped around her arm and is cutting off the circulation! We both explode in laughter, we never "finish" the appointment, yet I had the most wonderful time and meet a truly beautiful woman. So lets hear anyone elses falls, trips, head bangs and slips because I know you are out there too...

charlestudor2005 · 03-31-2010, 05:01 PM

Well, in my experience, the ladies are demure and graceful...I'm the clod. It's an effort for her to keep a straight face as I stumble my way through the session.

Ansley · 03-31-2010, 05:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

Well, in my experience, the ladies are demure and graceful...

Yea, I wish. I am a huge klutz!

I was very fortunate to be staying in a suite with a dining room. Just off the dining room was the balcony door. Coming into the room my heel caught on the door and I fell into the dining room table hitting my head. The really bad part is the next morning I did the same thing in bare feet. Believe me nobody I know ever calls me graceful.

charlestudor2005 · 03-31-2010, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ansley

Yea, I wish. I am a huge klutz!

I was very fortunate to be staying in a suite with a dining room. Just off the dining room was the balcony door. Coming into the room my heel caught on the door and I fell into the dining room table hitting my head. The really bad part is the next morning I did the same thing in bare feet. Believe me nobody I know ever calls me graceful.

OK, but you never denied the demure part.

DallasRain · 03-31-2010, 07:32 PM

my doubles girl "farted loudly" while I was eating her...does that count??{lol}

I think the funniest thing that happened was when I was riding a really big big guy cowgirl...we were going wild,when all of a sudden he thrusted me off and I fell on the floor...I knocked down a shelf with snowglobes,breaking my fave...and also knocked off two burning candles getting hot wax on my chest{which kinda felt sexy}!!!! Good thing I did not crash into my mirrors on that wall!!!

pyramider · 03-31-2010, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by runswithscissors

In todays ups and downs of life, if you have had a bad day, need a little smile, and can laugh at yourself, this is for you............Walking up to the front door of my appointment, the door slowly opens, and there she is; a vision in a short silk robe slightly open to reveal an oh so barely there camsole and tap pants; a smile as she steps back to welcome me, trips in her high heels and lands flat on her back! The ice is broken; we laugh and continue on to the bedroom; laying there, kissing, moaning, twisting, yes, my "A" game, I think, until she tells me that the belt to her robe is wrapped around her arm and is cutting off the circulation! We both explode in laughter, we never "finish" the appointment, yet I had the most wonderful time and meet a truly beautiful woman. So lets hear anyone elses falls, trips, head bangs and slips because I know you are out there too...

At least you did not take a dump at the incall.

Michellepdxxx · 04-01-2010, 12:55 AM

I had an outcall with a guy that did the upkeep on vacation homes on the Oregon coast.He had me meet him at one of the cottages~nice place.I wonder how long it took the owner to figure out one of beds needed to be fixed.lol.
The guy called a couple of his buddies to come over and help him fix it~I'm sure it was better than before we used it.

DallasRain · 04-01-2010, 10:40 PM

quoted---At least you did not take a dump at the incall.

---unquoted
I had that happen to me...and it was a horrible one {that guy must have had prunes that morning...lol}

Michelle--that is a beautiful area,bet those cottages were nice!

vnurse · 04-02-2010, 12:42 PM

Hmmm...does collapsing the table count? No one was harmed in the course of events and I I changed the names to protect the guilty! LOL!

Tiffany Cums · 04-02-2010, 01:21 PM

Well, I was laying in my bed with a gentleman, and as always, I was doing my best to 'upsell' him big time....

for some unknown reason, he became very upset

and jumped up off of the bed....as he was hurrying to get his pants back on, he trips and hits his head on my camcorder tri-pod...as he was laying there dazed

, I kindly helped myself to the contents of his wallet

...when he had left and closed the door behind him, I laughed

to myself thinking 'stab'n roll' has nothing on me!

lmao Just Kidding...

I haven't had anything funny happen...nothing! I feel so left out! So I made this up...I hope it made you laugh!

pyramider · 04-02-2010, 08:42 PM

If they are dazed you can perform human experimentation. The human ear does not hold a lot of yogurt.

Chevalier · 04-04-2010, 12:27 AM

Well, there was the time that the lady and I were lying naked and entwined on the bed when the hotel maintenance man opened the door. He backed out quickly. It put me off my game a bit, so to speak.

Since then, no matter how beautiful and enticing the lady, I never forget the chainbolt.

ElisabethWhispers · 04-04-2010, 07:59 AM

I'm waiting for a pilot to arrive at the hotel in Houston where I was staying and well, I'd just had room service and he said that he was sensitive to smells.

He was on his way and so while wearing only a short and completely diaphanous violet robe (folks, it was completely see-through), I pushed the tray outside the door with my foot while trying to not get dressed again.

My foot slipped and I was locked out of my room and was pretty much naked. I didn't know what to do and coming down the hall, I saw a man in a uniform and figured it was my client. He went, "Elisabeth"? and I asked him to run downstairs and get management. Now, this "could" have been funny to him but he didn't find it too amusing.

Then, the door across the hall opened and a young (and gorgeous) woman asked if I was alright. At that very moment I hope that the earth would open up and swallow me whole. I have this purple slip of a robe wrapped around me and told her that I was locked out of my room and was waiting for my date to get someone to unlock the door.

She was at a nurses convention so I guess she was somewhat used to nudity. She called the downstairs desk. Within about two minutes, four men are running down the hall towards my room. Two bellmen, a hotel manager and my client. There are six of us in the hallway and me, basically naked. The nurse went back to her room. The manager runs off the two bellboys who were bugged eyed by then.

The manager walks into the room with us and asks if I'm alright. Before I can SAY anything he looks down and sees a 12 inch suede flogger with silver studs, three bottles of wine, a plate of fruits that I had brought with me from Dallas, various lingerie all over the place and a pink boa.

He doesn't even ask for ID and excuses himself. My date looks at me in horror. We're both sweating. I offer him a glass of merlot and we both gulp it down.

In retrospect, you would think that a fairly worldly man would have had a bit more of a sense of humor about it. After all, it wasn't HIM standing in the hall with a tray of smelly quesadillas on the floor waiting for someone to come with a key to let me into my beautiful suite.

I call this story, "Four men and one naked lady with a tray of quesadillas on the floor".

The sex was good but I never heard from him again.

charlestudor2005 · 04-04-2010, 08:22 AM

EW--I bet this story has made it around the hotel several times. As a matter of fact, you may now be a legend there.

ElisabethWhispers · 04-04-2010, 08:30 AM

Doubt it. After it happened, I called one of my friends who used to be in hospitality for the chain of Hyatts. He used to be a concierge and preceeded to tell me hilarious stories of naked people locked out of rooms, famous atheletes getting blowjobs from drunk girls in the hallway, etc.

Made my story sound almost quaint.

Hugs,
Elisabeth