Omg, one of my biggest pet peeves!!!!!
One of the biggest complaints I hear from straight men: "Women aren't communicative enough during sex."
I am SUPER communicative, especially where this is concerned. I always tell a gent who is about to go down to Chinatown for the first time with me, exactly what I like. I am also very forthcoming with continued instructions during the trip. (Right there, that's good, keep doing that.)
Yet, STILL some men, I guess? decide they are going to do what THEY want, and totally disregard what I say. Grrrrr, it makes me so angry!
Gents, how would you like it if we are reciprocating and start attacking your schlong like it's the last hot dog during a 2 year famine? Ugh!
Ok, rant over.
My input: first, every lady is different. Here's a wild idea: ASK her what she likes, BEFORE you begin! Novel, I know.
Secondly, LISTEN to her verbal or non-verbal cues throughout so that you know if what you are doing is right.
Thirdly, if she tells you to do something specific, DO THAT, and NOT something else!
For myself, I like the tip of the tongue, up and down on my little soft mound, in a repeated fashion. NO biting, NO sucking, DO NOT ram it in the hole like you are trying to force a hole in one, do not do crazy circular motions like you are trying to do donuts. And sometimes more pressure is better.