Problem With Sugar Baby

[hbech]

Okay, some background first...

Been married almost twenty years but like to play. Found a sugar baby, this was almost two years ago. After a couple of months getting to know each other and going out on a few dates we entered into an SB/SD arrangement. We never really set serious ground rules because we had gotten to know each other and we are both pretty chill. She's a single mom and was in graduate school when we started and she had no desire (or the time) for a relationship or any drama. It was basically the stereotypical SB/SD arrangement and it worked out great.

Once things got rolling we met up on average three to five times a month. It really was the perfect set up because we were both mature enough not to get all clingy or upset if the other had to cancel. There were times when one of us was either too busy to meet or our schedules didn't sync up. "Is Thur good?" "Yes, see you then." Thursday rolls around "Sorry, can't meet today, next week okay?" "Yeah, not a problem." No drama, no angry protests, no veiled threats, nothing. Totally chill.

I can't stress enough how perfect the arrangement was. We completely left each other alone until it was time to meet. Neither of us even thought about dropping the L-Bomb. I never once pined over her or even remotely entertained the idea of leaving my wife for her. She never tried to push me into being a father-figure for her kid. I had surgery earlier this year and she kept her space while I recovered and didn't expect an allowance.

The troubles started a month ago. We agreed to meet on a Friday at 11am. She completely blew me off and didn't answer my texts. Not a big deal. I was a little pissed but I have far too much to lose by pushing the issue and dealing with an angry mistress. I let it go. Sure enough, the next week rolls around and she reaches out to me to meet. Same thing as the week before, totally blew me off. The week after that I reached out to her very casually, "Haven't heard from you in a while, hope everything is okay." Tried again an hour or so later and left it open-ended, "Let me know if you need your computer fixed." (Our code to meet.) Another week goes by with no contact so I reach out again (This was Friday, a few days ago), "Everything okay? Why have you been ignoring me?" An hour goes by and I text "Maybe you're not getting these texts or something" and I call (something extremely rare so she always picks up) and it goes straight to voicemail. Call again a few minutes later and again, straight to voicemail. Her phone is glued to her hand during waking hours so I know she saw my calls.

At this point I know it is over, I can take a hint. I knew this day would come eventually but I just feel so shitty about the way it ended. Based on what I thought I knew about her, I always thought that our arrangement would end with a conversation, not in this childish manner.

I'm also super pissed at myself for taking it so damned hard. It's not like I was in love with her, there were times when I entertained the idea of finding a new, hotter sugar baby like the pig that I am, lol. I feel like a fucking teenager whose girlfriend dumped him out of the blue. It's stupid and I hate it.

What I am *not* going to do, what I would never do is push the issue and stalk her like Woody Harelson's character in True Detective, show up to her place drunk and beat the shit out of the guy she is fucking in my place. Since I'm not going this route, I'm stuck feeling shitty and pissed. I'm pissed because the sex was great and I've lost the unicorn of all sugar babies.

At least now my finances have opened up so I can start seeing more of the lovely ladies here on this site with more frequency. I enjoy it but its not the same as seeing a sugar baby, one that you can get to know and have a more personal connection with.

Sorry for the long post, I needed to rant and hopefully get some advice.

Questions? Thoughts? Can anyone relate?

[ripiceman]

Phone going straight to voice mail, did you forget to pay her cell bill?? Sounds lkke she met an actual boyfriend, doesnt wanna hurt feeilings. Two years seems a long time for that type relationship

[hbech]

Originally Posted by ripiceman

Phone going straight to voice mail, did you forget to pay her cell bill?? Sounds lkke she met an actual boyfriend, doesnt wanna hurt feeilings. Two years seems a long time for that type relationship

I don't pay her cell phone bill, too much of a trail. LOL

She's had a boyfriend since like April or May, I didn't know anything about him until July or so. Thing is, we hooked up numerous times while they were together and she didn't seem to mind.

Wait, maybe he found out about me? That just occurred to me. Hmmm, not sure that holds much weight seeing as how they're still together. Maybe she begged and pleaded with him that she wouldn't see me anymore if he agreed to stay with her.

I don't know, I just really need closure on this. Sucks in a big way.

[ProviderRider]

Typical....First you are told she doesn't want a relationship and doesn't have time for it or the drama and it ends bc of her getting into a relationship and she mind fucks you. To me that is her looking for drama.
I cant tell you how many times I have heard a male or female say "if I ever get out of this relationship/marriage I wont get into another" and they have always ended up back into a relationship within a few months.

[hbech]

Originally Posted by ProviderRider

Typical....First you are told she doesn't want a relationship and doesn't have time for it or the drama and it ends bc of her getting into a relationship and she mind fucks you. To me that is her looking for drama.
I cant tell you how many times I have heard a male or female say "if I ever get out of this relationship/marriage I wont get into another" and they have always ended up back into a relationship within a few months.

Yeah, the mind games suck. I don't think I'm asking a lot here, just a conversation. I've never given her any indication that I'm possessive or jealous. She's been comfortable enough to tell me a funny story about a guy she was trying to hook up with. We both knew I had no right to object, it wasn't even an issue.

Two years doesn't warrant a goodbye? I would have been totally cool and even excited about looking for a new SB. Now I just feel like a fucking chump.

Won't take long for her to fuck up things with her boyfriend. Shit, she was fucking me for months after they were "Facebook Official."

Ughhh!

[ripiceman]

I know it may be hard, but i wouldnt give her the satisfaction to think you cared enough to be pissed off and trying to keep a dialogue with her. I cant imagine these chicks that agree to a sb/sd relationship are all that stable. You might piss her off and threaten to tell your old lady

[hbech]

Originally Posted by ripiceman

I know it may be hard, but i wouldnt give her the satisfaction to think you cared enough to be pissed off and trying to keep a dialogue with her. I cant imagine these chicks that agree to a sb/sd relationship are all that stable. You might piss her off and threaten to tell your old lady

Appreciate the advice, I'm way ahead of you on that. I'm not saying it's impossible, but she has no idea what my wife looks like or where she works or anything. She also doesn't know where I live or work. But yes, you are right, I'm not willing to risk it.

[smithlane]

I'm thinking my sugar experiences absolutely suck.

That is all.

Sorry for your trouble sir!

[Mt75]

When it ends, it ends. Don't be too upset about it and move on. Stuff happens, people change their mind and more.

I have had a couple long relationships and we are still good friends.

I have had a few teach me the hard lessons in life (don't travel with them early in relationship, found her in my wallet when i got out of shower early at the hotel).

Chemistry is key for a long term one, and lack of drama is important. I have shared my wisdom when i can in the guys forum and via PM msgs.

Got in a bad wreck a few months back (head on collision, lucky to be alive) and haven't done much in the escort side so haven't posted a review (or done anything to merit one).

All I can say is from my experience is don't get attached if one of them bails for whatever reason. They change their minds, get scared, find someone else, or a variety of other reasons.

ALWAYS be safe. Use a burner #, don't give your full name, where you live or anything else (unless you are single and don't care).

Good luck and msg me if you have any questions, and I'll be glad to help

[hbech]

Originally Posted by Mt75

When it ends, it ends. Don't be too upset about it and move on. Stuff happens, people change their mind and more.

I have had a couple long relationships and we are still good friends.

I have had a few teach me the hard lessons in life (don't travel with them early in relationship, found her in my wallet when i got out of shower early at the hotel).

Chemistry is key for a long term one, and lack of drama is important. I have shared my wisdom when i can in the guys forum and via PM msgs.

Got in a bad wreck a few months back (head on collision, lucky to be alive) and haven't done much in the escort side so haven't posted a review (or done anything to merit one).

All I can say is from my experience is don't get attached if one of them bails for whatever reason. They change their minds, get scared, find someone else, or a variety of other reasons.

ALWAYS be safe. Use a burner #, don't give your full name, where you live or anything else (unless you are single and don't care).

Good luck and msg me if you have any questions, and I'll be glad to help

Thanks for all of that, it was a big help. I'm done with her, don't worry about me.

It's funny, looking back in hindsight, the clues are there.

When we first starting dating, we were having dinner at a restaurant and she kept getting text messages. She wanted to focus on our date and was getting visibly irritated so I asked her if everything was okay.

Turns out she was getting texts from her most recent ex. She made it seem like he was stalking her and wouldn't let go. The ex knew she was out on a date but didn't care, he wanted to come pick her up so they could talk.

"He still thinks we are a couple." She rolls her eyes.

What a loser, I thought. She broke up with you and is on a date with someone else. Take the hint, dude, and move on, you're embarrassing yourself.

I laughed. "You broke up with him?"

"Yeah, like a month ago and he won't leave me alone."

"You told him to stop bothering you? That you didn't want to see him anymore?"

"Yeah."

"Wow, that's pathetic."

Now I have serious doubts that she made it clear to this guy that their relationship was over. I just thought he was some loser that couldn't let go and move on with his life.

It gets worse. There's more.

A few months later we hooked up in a hotel and afterwards we made conversation. She tells me this funny story about how she is having lunch with some of her friends and this guy she had dated came up to her while she was eating and made her uncomfortable and couldn't take the hint that he was interrupting.

"Let me guess," I said, "same guy texting you while we were eating dinner that one night?"

"No, different guy. I broke up with him like a year ago and he just won't leave me alone. Every time he sees me out in public, he does shit like that."

Hmmmmm, I see a pattern! How could I be such an idiot and not see this coming? LOL. I just thought these poor guys were madly in love with this hot chick that is great in the sack. It's obvious now I was wrong. She clearly thinks that the cold shoulder is how you end a relationship.

Lesson learned.

[hbech]

Well, well, well.

Guess who is on his way to meet a younger, hotter sugar baby?

That's right! I am!

[EastTexasGrown]

You go hbech!!

[Guest123018]

Originally Posted by hbech

Well, well, well.

Guess who is on his way to meet a younger, hotter sugar baby?

That's right! I am!

Ain't nothing better than old pussy but some NEW pussy!

Have fun

[jwood]

Originally Posted by Seeking ~P

Ain't nothing better than old pussy but some NEW pussy!

Have fun

I like the way you think ~P

[hbech]

Oh my! This is just too much to handle!

Lunch with another possible SB tomorrow!