WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS

[Afgm1985]

Ok guys. There's a big problem going around. Because of either personal preference or bad experiences (like being robbed), a lot of providers are asking black hobbyists not to contact them. I'm a good guy but I'm black so I suffer. I feel like it's a lot of the providers I want to see that don't see black clients. So what about those of us black men that are respectful, don't waste time, and aren't cheap?

[Swordmaster69]

Find providers that don't have a NBA policy...there are many in Austin. Obviously, your lack of reviews and recent signup date don't help either, and if you are young another bad hit....

[Afgm1985]

All, the above. Well I'm 28 but you know providers like mostly 30 and over. Sad thing is: I'm picky. After I get finished weeding out the yucky/fake girls, a good percentage of the ones left have nba policies. I guess I'm just venting cause the bad apples are messing it up for everyone.

[tallliwhacker]

Originally Posted by Swordmaster69

Find providers that don't have a NBA policy...there are many in Austin. Obviously, your lack of reviews and recent signup date don't help either, and if you are young another bad hit....

Sword speaks the truth loudly.

Add to your detractors, your first post here is to come into CoEd and type in ALL CAPS that "WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!"

This does NOT help your case.

Originally Posted by Afgm1985

I'm picky. After I get finished weeding out the yucky/fake girls, a good percentage of the ones left have nba policies..

So YOU are permitted to be "picky", but the ladies who post their preferences up front are NOT allowed to be "picky"?

Gents get to chose the ladies they want to see. Ladies get the same choice. We ALL have different tastes. My good friend JustTheresa69 is a beautiful black woman. There are gents here who won't see her simply because of skin color. Their loss. She makes no complaints about the fact that WALDT.

May I ask you this? In your personal life, would you complain if a white woman would reject your romantic advances? Why then the complaint here, simply because the only true difference is that you are offering her a paid date? On the surface, this would appear rather shallow.

As a white man, I have had women of color choose not to date me. I have also had white women choose not to date me, LOL.

We are persons. We are free to exercise our personal choices. Suggesting that the reason or the mere existence of personal choice, somehow "needs to be have something done about it" seems shallow. (FWIW, my wife is black).

At the end of the day, I want to spend time (and/or time and money) with someone who truly appreciates me on some level.

I have my personal preferences. I simply don't advertise them. I have no problem with the ladies that do. In my experience, they advertise because some men react poorly when confronted with the lady's personal preference.

Ladies here are at a marked disadvantage when it comes to exercising their personal preferences. We gents do not have pics, stats, specs, reports, rumors, innuendo, bitches and complaints readily posted and available for the ladies to see.

I was a member of ASPD for 5 months, before I ever posted on that board. I did so, to give me ample time to read and understand the board culture and to not offend or come across as uninformed or ignorant when I posted.

Not saying that you are ignorant, however this post will be read by most every lady in our forum and they will make their own discernment regarding who you are and if they would be willing to take the risk to see you.

Calling ECCIE ladies "yucky" and "fake" will also cross you off the list of several ladies who do NOT have an NBA policy.

Welcome to our corner of ECCIE, sir. I do hope you enjoy your time here.

TW

[justtheresa69]

Wow. My day started with all caps.

What I am about to say, I mean with all respect and as a means of helping a newbie.

As a woman of color, when I was an active provider, there were plenty of gents who would not see me. They have a choice, as I have a choice. I truly have no issue with that in the least.

Ladies who post their "NBA" policy take a risk (IMO) by letting everyone know up front their policy/preference. There are plenty of ladies who DO NOT post their policy/preference.

My preferences, while not published, went far beyond mere skin color (and to be sure, it was not a skin color preference, rather an "attitude" prevalent in our black community).

I preferred to not see any men that would treat me like a piece of property.

I preferred to not see men that acted as if I had to do ANYTHING they said, simply because THEY were the paying customer and the "customer is always right".

I preferred to not see men that were intoxicated (I do drink).

I preferred to not see men that were on drugs.

I preferred to not see men with poor hygiene.

I preferred to not see men that would haggle over price.

I preferred to not see men who were not respectful of me.

I preferred to not see men who were not respectful of my time.

I preferred to not see men who were not respectful of my boundaries.

Unfortunately, I have had many personal experiences (as a black woman) both in and out of the hobby that were very undesirable, unpleasant, painful, embarrassing, etc. The truly unfortunate thing about that is that black men were overrepresented in this group of "undesirable men".

Am I a racist? NO.

I love my black men. I love my people. I love all people. However, the black community of men come from a culture of treating women very differently than other communities. This is MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE as a proud, black woman.

Ad to that, I find men under the age of 30, to behave very differently than men over the age of 30. In my experience, many more poor experiences with the younger men.

Are there not exceptions to the rule? ABSOLUTELY!!!!

However, this is my generalization of my experiences.

I would not dare to presume the reasons for any other provider's "NBA" policy/preference. They are free to have their own criterion and preferences and to post those up front or to keep their preferences private.

Personally, If a hobbyist did not want to see me because of my skin color (or any other reason), I would want to know that up front, rather than have him waste both my time and his as we go back and forth. I think a lady that publishes her preferences up front is doing you a favor. Being critical of her posting her preferences up front, would appear to be unappreciative of the fact that she is not wasting your time.

Did I see black gents? Yes. Did I see men under 30? Yes. However, I was "picky" about it.

Good luck in your search. I hope you find a lady that meets your mutual preferences.

Hugs and Kisses,

Theresa

[Buckskin]

I bet afgm wasn't expecting that.

Do any ladies have a NFL policy. What's wrong with basketball?

[cowboyfan2745]

Sorry to hear that you're having issues. IMO you'll probably need to start with newbie friendly providers that don't have a NBA policy also get a p411 account. Just my .02. Good luck to you.

[knotty man]

Go to the Austin coed. At the top, you will find a sticky of AA friendly providers. Or you can check out Temptation Tammy.she visits here and has the list in her sig line

[tallliwhacker]

Originally Posted by Buckskin

I bet afgm wasn't expecting that.

Do any ladies have a NFL policy. What's wrong with basketball?

There are a couple with NFL and NHL polices, although a lot of ladies simply don't publish those preferences up front.

You will see more NHL policies mention up in the northern states, where they talk of "cups" and "bells" vice "pops" and "shots on goal". Yankees.


Thanks Theresa for chiming in. Most (if not all) of the ladies here are NOT likely to chime in on threads like this, because of the business risk they take and he general criticism that ensues from women "speaking their minds". LOL.

Personally, I have known dozens of ladies with un-published preferences/policies. In each case, they had their reasons.

I have unpublished preferences. I have my reasons. I too, won't do "yucky" or, god forbid, "Fake". It all has to be for reals. I mean, really for reals. Really, really, really for reals.

As to your basketball policy question, Buckskin. I had one lady explain it to me quite simply..... too much back and forth and too much dribbling.......sweaty dribbling while panting....

[Afgm1985]

I really wasn't expecting that. Way to make all efforts to embarrass me on my first post. And I'm fine with whoever's preference. Preference isn't the issue. What is troubling to me is the fact that there is so much unwanted activity from AAs that providers are denying them on the whole (pun somewhat intended). As far as being picky goes: who cares! It is both the right of the provider and the hobbyist to be picky. But picky is not the same thing as prudent. It's one thing to not choose me. It's another to fear or dislike me. Without getting too philosophical, my culture is what "we have to do something about." Bee tee dubs: sorry bout the all caps. I'm used to pop culture sites where they don't take it as serious.

[tallliwhacker]

Originally Posted by Afgm1985

Without getting too philosophical, my culture is what "we have to do something about." Bee tee dubs: sorry bout the all caps. I'm used to pop culture sites where they don't take it as serious.

Foxtrot Whisky India Whisky. "Culture" and "cultural awareness" is the exact point I was making.

On one hand you complain about the "culture" and demand it be fixed, on the other you say you are fine with it.

Sorry if you felt anyone went out of their way to "embarrass" you. Seems to me there is good advice on how to address your "problem" as well as adequate discussion as to the "issues" from the points of view of other members.

Our community is an extremely diverse one, as well as a very tolerant one.

You ARE welcome here. I see the posts as a means of answering your question and responding to your call for action. It would seem you DID get far more feedback than you anticipated. I would not take that in a negative way or take it personally. Certainly no one stooped to name calling you.

If your "culture" is that you can use terms like "Yucky" to describe a lady member here and you feel WE embarrassed YOU, then foxtrot whisky india whisky, india mike hotel Oscar, WE have a very different culture and one that may not mix well.

We do not tolerate the name calling well here. We do not tolerate putting others (especially the ladies) down well here.

In my opinion, an apology for calling ladies here "yucky" and "fakes" was in order. The only apology you offered was for the use of all caps. (Is THAT your sole comment to the feedback Theresa provided?) I think this speaks volumes to the differences between your culture and mine.

Still, I sincerely offer you welcome and wish you the best of luck.

[Afgm1985]

My friend,
I meant you specifically when I said I felt embarrassed. Secondly I wasn't talking about eecie specifically. Remember, I'm new. The bulk of my experience is with bp. And as we all know there is a plethora of both Fake and (get ready) yuckie providers out there. And if the yuckie thing is offensive, since I'm not saying names, the only way they could be offended is if they think themselves to be yuckie. Imagine how I feel about the whole NBA thing. I never meant to cause a ruckus. I only wanted to get something off of my chest. I'm there to enjoy the provider and not commit any crimes or be cheap. I'm clean and am universally handsome. The help I wanted was to maybe get some help on how to communicate that to providers who's nba policy is based on the opposite, not to be cited on my perceived contradictions or shortcomings. You clearly want to show off how experienced you are, so put your experience to good use and teach me. Don't make a joke out of my post. And the cliché "I have a black friend" thing is somehow more racist than just being straight out racist. Is this how you spend your time? Trolling guys who want to safely enjoy providers; while you toot you cyber horn? Well, if you're the kind of person I'm to associate myself with if I want to be on this site then, you're right, we don't mix and this isn't for me. Golf echo tango alpha Lima India foxtrot echo.

[jb0006]

So let's get back to the actual subject from the original post. My suggestion would be to look and find someone you have a physical attraction to, if she has an NBA policy, ask HER if she has any friends or knows any providers she would recommend to you. She may have a loose NBA policy and not even realize it. If you see her recommendations, the may put in a good word for you and she may be open to seeing you. Unfortunately with our current culture people are grouped together, whether it's by race, trade, or whatever. Not all black people are bad, not all cops are bad, not all politicians are corrupt pieces of crap. But there are always a small percentage that ruin it for others. I think it best not to complain, you did right by asking for some advice, but I think you worded it a little wrong. It's also difficult to get someone's tone from reading words from a page, unless you use all caps, which most everyone perceives as yelling. Hope my "advice" helps a little.

[Afgm1985]

Absolutely. Thank you JB

[secpro]

I've been curious to hear from some of the ladies who state NBA. I expect for many, it's a cultural thing. If a gentleman sent you a note asking about that, indicating they are a non-thuggish GENTLEMAN, would you consider it? If so, what kinds of things might a gentleman say / do to help you see his cultural leaning/ that they may in fact be a gentleman?