"High" Volume - Contributing to a probem? Applying some semblance of Consience to your Hobby?

[budman33]

Originally Posted by Whispers

You are the one ASSERTING that I am entitled to something....

Every time you post the same old shit trying to make something there that wasn't you lose a little more credibility.....

I've never said I am entitled to know anything.

I said that before I spend money on a girl that I WANT to know more about her....

I'm beginning to think that you lack rudimentary reading and comprehension skills.

Then again... I guess it is easier to stir shit reading into it what you want to....

Like your earlier comment that I care about whether or not a lady wastes her money or not.....

I could give a fuck about 98% of what anyone does with her money.....

But if I become aware that the majority of her money is going up her nose, down her throat r into her veins......well... that is going to color my decision about seeing her....

You also read a lot more into this and try to make it about providers and that I show some favoritism towards Strippers.....

This is just as much about strippers.....

I provided two examples early in the thread... One a Provider... the other a Stripper....

I'm equal opportunity in where I have seen problems.....

No you have it wrong, again. your initial premise was very good. IF you found out that the money was going to destructive behavior then would it color our hobby choice to see her. YES.

My opinion which you fail to fucking comprehend (sorry vyt, not angry just sometimes f-words are good emphasis) Is that information is hard to come by and not something we have any right to ask for. I agree that I overstepped that i said you felt entitled, but you did say you would WANT to know where your money was going which is really arrogant.

My reading comprehension is fine, work on yours sir.

[TriumphGuy]

Originally Posted by Reya Sunshine

I agree that if you are concerned with enabling a girl's *eccie unmentionable habits* by your continued patronage then you have a moral obligation to YOURSELF to not do something that will make you feel like less of an overall good person. Technically if you see the hobby world as truly just a consumer/merchant situation then other people's issues aren't your business unless it effects you getting your "product" in a timely and cost efficient way without sacrificing too much quality.

I'm a bit curious why you only mentioned spending habits as the most obvious indicator of a provider's *unmentionable* issue without mentioning other well recognized signs such as:

-extreme weight loss/being malnourished and emaciated

-suddenly becoming open to letting people push her personal boundaries whereas before she didn't or if she did before then the provider starts allowing things she didn't previously for less and less compensation...sometimes perhaps even being passed around a group of men for pennies on the dollar just so they can have bragging rights

I guess it all depends on perspective... it's an interesting topic for discussion, thanks for bringing it up.

A really good reply Reya, well spoken.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by Laz

Do I have the "right" to know? Absolutely not. I do not have the right to know what anyone does with their money. If I do know, do I have the obligation to try to help? If I knew I could make a difference then probably yes. However, as has been stated, these are adults and it is unlikely that I can change them.

Should I consider this when choosing a provider to see? Hell yes. Drug and alcohol abuse lead to bad decision making. High volume and poor decision making adds health risks that I could be exposed to. Screening works both ways. I have to believe that a provider considers more than if I have the funds when deciding to see me.

He gets it....

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by irishlad

I don't think any patron of an adult entertainer should make it his business to try to judge an entertainer/provider's mental health or lifestyle.

BUT, I will not willfully and knowingly participate in and enable (by paying for) someone's self destructive behavior if it becomes obvious in the normal course of affairs that such is occurring. In fact that would be true for any business, not just "adult entertainment". No lecturing or saving...but I'm not going to fuel it...that makes me an active part of the problem.

I've waved off even of strippers that fall into the "guilt ridden about sex, feel like they are selling their soul for a buck, need to get drunk to do lap dances" category because I've seen how fast they tend to implode over the years. This business is not for women with sexual hangups just like people with asthma shouldn't be firemen, epileptics shouldn't be pilots and closeted gay men shouldn't be GOP congressmen or Televangelists.

He gets it......

[Whispers]

Others certainly get what I am saying....

If it gets talked about long enough I am sure a lot of others will as well

This has nothing to do with HOW you find out whatever it is you find out..... It is about how you handle KNOWING .....

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by budman33

My opinion which you fail to fucking comprehend (sorry vyt, not angry just sometimes f-words are good emphasis) Is that information is hard to come by and not something we have any right to ask for. I agree that I overstepped that i said you felt entitled, but you did say you would WANT to know where your money was going which is really arrogant.

Sorry man..... But the information is actually QUITE easy to come by.....

And yes... the 2nd part IS correct..... IF a woman is making a crap load of money and I am interested in seeing her and don't already know her I AM going to ask around as to what kind of person she is and if there are any issues surrounding her I should know about.....

I do not DEMAND or feel entitled to know anything...... But I am not afraid to ask....

I guess I learned though many years ago how easy it is to ask around through people I know about others they might know..... maybe I should have accepted that CIA job offer I got as I was leaving Naval Intelligence so many years ago.... Social Engineering has always come naturally to me....

[S O B]

Naval intelligence is an oxymoron.

[harkontume]

Mr.SOB

You truly are an idiot.

[budman33]

Originally Posted by Whispers

maybe I should have accepted that CIA job offer I got as I was leaving Naval Intelligence so many years ago.... Social Engineering has always come naturally to me....

/chuckle

the topic of the thread drew a connection between volume and destructive behavior. I dont think that logic is sound. How you react to someone you know that is into destructive behavior transcends way beyond the hobby world. being a provider or stripper doesn't make you any more or less prone to destructive behavior. I take my hat off to the ladies on this board I know because irregardless of their perceived 'volume' they seem to have their shit together. negative reviews weed out the people that need to hit rock bottom. it's like anyone else in your life or raising kids, if you don't let them fall, they never learn how to pick them-self back up.

Other than you being a hypocrite, it was a great thread with a horrible thread title that had very little to do with the plot of the actual thread. dont get mad, you called me a hypocrite first. /cheers

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by budman33

I take my hat off to the ladies on this board I know because irregardless of their perceived 'volume' they seem to have their shit together. negative reviews weed out the people that need to hit rock bottom.

Here you display the typical ignorance that most have in regards to the ladies they see....

And that is OK.. If you don't know you obviously cannot get involved.... or make a decision with the knowledge in mind...

More than once a lady that has been incredibly popular and known to have their shit together has suddenly disappeared into Rehab or got cross ways with the law as the result of some problem they have.

When it comes out.... There is always that circle of people that "knew".....

Then an expanded circle of people that "thought she might have"...

But did any of them ever attempt to intervene in any way? Did Clients that knew just turn a blind eye and continue patronizing her which helped support and in some cases amplify the problem? Did other Ladies that knew turn a blind eye as well and simply say it is none of their business?

I can readily admit to having done both.... In the past....

But some recent experiences make me think that it's pretty irresponsible to be aware of a problem and to let it go on unknown to others contributing to it and without some sort of effort in actually letting the person with the problem know I know, that others are surely seeing it as well and offering some sort of guidance towards getting help.

It is SELDOM the case.

But.

Sometimes....

It only takes one person that cares enough to reach out to help someone find their way out of a dark spot.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by budman33

Other than you being a hypocrite, it was a great thread with a horrible thread title that had very little to do with the plot of the actual thread. dont get mad, you called me a hypocrite first.

Dog's get mad...

I've been known to get angry.....

But you?....

you occasionally annoy me......

but for the most part....you simply amuse me....

[SofaKingFun]

I'd like to believe that we're all not heartless in the hobby. Sure, I've met many acquaintances and even managed to cultivate some very rewarding friendships in the process. So I can say that without question, I do care about the people I meet; especially my friends. Without hesitation I would address any concerns that I had directly with that person and have done so on many occasions. Sometimes it works out and other times it doesn't.

On more than a few occasions, I've reached-out and intervened when I discovered some errant and destructive behavior from one of my friends. What kind of friend would you be if you didn't?

The issues were addressed and sometimes, things work-out. That's a great and happy ending and certainly rewarding in many ways and on many different levels.

However, I've also had my efforts backfire on me and leave me looking like a complete jackass.

In my case, it happened to be with a few different provider friends.

You'd be amazed and just how many of us in this little sandbox of ours are so quick to jump to conclusions based solely on one person's side of a story- hell, I'm guilty of that too. It happens and I'll freely admit to doing the same. But what sucks is that without ever hearing the other side of the story, you've already been made out to be this fucking pariah and you now have to deal with all of that backlash...That sucks! You've been judged and for what? For trying to help get a person back onto the straight-and-narrow? For doing what's right and trying to intervene?

By the time all of the dust settles and the truth finally comes out, you've been tagged and pretty much ostracised from that particular group who jumped onto their bandwagon. Rarely, if ever, do they ever learn or even want to hear what actually happened and how badly the truth was twisted and all of the lies and fabrications that were made to support that persons claim....that's just the nature of the beast, I suppose.

What a lot of people fail to realize is that if a person is on "banned from discussion/illegal substance", and they don't want to get off of them, there's no helping them. You can only offer advice and your support to help them through their recovery and what-not but if they don't want to accept your help, there's not a whole lot that you can do because an addict will do anything to avoid facing the fact that they have a problem. It's just easier to throw another person under the bus and continue down that path of self-destruction than it is to accept that offer of assistance and face their demons to get clean and get back on-track.


Has this prevented me from stepping-in again when a similar issue presented itself to me with another? Nope. It has caused me to rethinck just how far I'm willing to go before seeing some sort of result or effort on their part. But no, it hasn't stopped me from caring and/or trying to help a troubled friend and I don't thinck that it ever will.

.

.

[mirandalee]

Thats a good one he is the first guy to ask or care where our money is going.. Shit if I didnt have student loans to pay or have to help out family Id be shopping and traveling the dam world... and blowing money, oh well thats life.. But I do agree with Roxxanne..

I do have an addiction by the way "sex" lol...

[Tiffani Jameson]

While I would tend to agree that what a lady does with her money is her own business, if I were a man, I would most definitely want to deal with a lady who wasn't under duress. I think you guys deserve to know what it's like to have encounters with women who obviously have their stuff together. What I think Whispers is driving at is that he'll willingly help a woman who helps herself.

But in this business, with some of you having a certain 'limited pool' of ladies to choose from, having that mentality will shorten that list even more, so it's easy to just 'get yours' and not worry about it.

[budman33]

Originally Posted by Whispers

Dog's get mad...

I've been known to get angry.....

But you?....

you occasionally annoy me......

but for the most part....you simply amuse me....

yes you do amuse me too. i wonder if maybe you are testing out the pimp waters. pimps also are 'concerned' about where their money is going so they can exert control over it in a 'nice' way.

I only bring that up because you said you saw another hobbiest leave an incall, that you were parked in front of with a lady in your car.

that's also what pimps do.