I have some engravings of some presidents and famous statesmen that I would happily trade for a few moments of your time.
I'm pulling your leg (or perhaps wishing that I could.)
No... I really don't have a lot to barter with, unless you need help prepping for your GED or maybe a math or science test. If that's the case, just lemme know and I'll just stick around a little while after our regular (compensated) session.
Wait... I could sing at your wedding. Oh... Wait... That might be a troublesome barter situation.
Anybody need a house sitter or pet sitter? No... That wouldn't work. I'm the one with the house and pets.
Oh... I know... I'll be your cabana boy. Can I turn down your bed? Fetch you a towel? Rub your feet? Your shoulders? Your... Oh my... I think I may change careers.
Oh well, maybe I'll just stick with the usual system.