Is Good Ole'Fashioned Intercourse Becoming Obsolete?

[awl4knot]

Originally Posted by hetta26

Perhaps it could be that this type of relatiohip is extremely impersonal and it, therefore, requires more extreme types of stimulation to achive satisfaction.

Elisabeth's premise is that there has been a recent change in sexual preferences. Since P4P sex has always been impersonal, that wouldn't explain a change in preferences. In fact the opposite could be argued. The NSA nature of the hobby may spur some men to try "forbidden" practices that they would not use with "normal" women.

I guess I'm not a deep thinker. A pretty woman in lingerie, a few kisses and caresses and I'm ready to go.

[ElisabethWhispers]

It's achieve. But we know what you were writing!

Although there is a sense of being impersonal ... for me, it's not impersonal at all. Perhaps a little bit of that is "this" is the way that I achieve my personal satisfaction because I do not date.

When there is a connection, even for a short period of time, I feel completely tuned in and completely "there".

And honestly, who says that screwing is a plain jane activity? I find that it can be a pretty wild ride.

Again, though, that's just me.

I certainly understand that men might prefer oral sex for the reasons above. Also, I know that men have intended to have a complete experience with me but when oral sex begins, they don't wish for it to end. It is fairly obvious that women in our sphere are often EXCEPTIONALLY capable in that arena. Grin.

Hugs,
Elisabeth

[ElisabethWhispers]

Originally Posted by awl4knot

Elisabeth's premise is that there has been a recent change in sexual preferences. Since P4P sex has always been impersonal, that wouldn't explain a change in preferences. In fact the opposite could be argued. The NSA nature of the hobby may spur some men to try "forbidden" practices that they would not use with "normal" women.

I guess I'm not a deep thinker. A pretty woman in lingerie, a few kisses and caresses and I'm ready to go.

Good point. And perhaps porn (as you suggested before) is partly to blame for men wanting to try different things. Seems normal enough. Add to that the idea that many of my clients have never orgasmed in the mouth of a woman (or in her ass), then you have a certain need that is being fulfilled.

But we're cut from the same bolt of cloth, I believe. Give me a grinning man with a rock hard erection and has masculine intent ... and I. Am. On. It.

Always.

I attract a heavy kink quotient. Always have. Probably it's my weight and age combined. But as mentioned above, I always enjoy ... probably more than most other things ... and joyous interlude of kissing and well, you know, that it's just a hard combination to beat!

Warmly,
Elisabeth

[rednecksatyr]

LOL, I do well and greatly enjoy the old "Beast with two backs."

[MOCHAakaMOCHA]

I don't think so I get more visiting for the regular things than anything fetishy or pse-ish. Oral & what I call "sex in the front", bodyrubs, breast fondling etc

Originally Posted by ElisabethWhispers

I'm thinking that it's taking a back seat to blow jobs, oral servicing and kink. For many. Or perhaps it's just my impression because I tend to attract patrons who are wishing to explore alternative sexuality.

But I'm just not seeing that men are enjoying, for the most part, a good old fashioned fucking. What I AM seeing is men wish to lay back and just enjoy being serviced. This is completely fine. It's what I enjoy as well. Sometimes.

Although with some people, there are physical limitations and that precludes them from enjoying a more vigorous time together. I understand that. But when those variables aren't in the equation, is your number one pleasure just oral?

I believe for most, it is. I know that most of my female friends would prefer oral sex to penetration. Which is something that I don't believe that I will understand in this lifetime.

Wanted to start a dialogue about it.

Warm kisses,
Elisabeth

[awl4knot]

Originally Posted by ElisabethWhispers

Although there is a sense of being impersonal ... for me, it's not impersonal at all. Perhaps a little bit of that is "this" is the way that I achieve my personal satisfaction because I do not date.

When there is a connection, even for a short period of time, I feel completely tuned in and completely "there".

And honestly, who says that screwing is a plain jane activity? I find that it can be a pretty wild ride.

Elisabeth,

I agree that you can have intense and true connections in the demimonde, though they may cause problems if uncontrolled. One of the components and products of intense, satisfying orgasmic sex is the feeling of intimacy and connection that develops after "mating." And even though we on this board commercialize the mating function, we still are susceptible to its instinctual imperatives.

Intercourse promotes connections because it is interactive and demands reciprocity. When I am making love I am constantly looking for verbal and physiological clues on how to please my partner and bring her to orgasm. I rarely close my eyes during sex (except during a great blow job) because I need to see and enjoy the fruits of my efforts.

Some of this may be the bi-product of age and reduced orgasmic capacity. I usually save my solitary O for the end of a session so for me to be "giving" to my partner is in part a selfish stragem to prolong the session, but it has its rewards. There is nothing sweeter or more compelling than simultaneous orgasms that culminate a session. It doesn't happen often, but it does, instinctually, create a warm bond.

These warm feelings may be only chemical in nature but we should embrace them. Happiness and satisfaction, even if short-lived, are too rare to be disregarded, even if money has been exchanged.

I apologize for my lengthy outpouring. I am snowbound and a bit bored.

Awl4knot

[Candence]

I love for intercourse to be the "grand finale"and everything that comes before just gets me all revved up and rearing to go! Giving a bbbj gets me soo hot because I truly enjoy the act of giving pleasure.

However, with all that being said, I too have found that most of the gentlemen I see do seem to enjoy the oral exploration most satisfying. I have often wondered if it is in fact, what they are not getting at home....

[BellaIsabella]

Originally Posted by Candence

I love for intercourse to be the "grand finale"and everything that comes before just gets me all revved up and rearing to go! Giving a bbbj gets me soo hot because I truly enjoy the act of giving pleasure.

However, with all that being said, I too have found that most of the gentlemen I see do seem to enjoy the oral exploration most satisfying. I have often wondered if it is in fact, what they are not getting at home....

Wow, I am the complete opposite, I am the type of women who is always very eager and impaitent to get to the "finale", I've never been much for a lot of foreplay, but I do enjoy sex a great deal!

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by Candence

I have often wondered if it is in fact, what they are not getting at home....

I've always been pretty blunt that my SO and I don't have a sexual relationship. So, I get nothing at home.

[Ed Highlight]

Originally Posted by Candence

I love for intercourse to be the "grand finale"and everything that comes before just gets me all revved up and rearing to go!

Candence, I am with you!! I'm hard as I'm gonna get and you're as wet as can be from all the playing around (very fun and exciting by the way) - now let's put everything together the way it was intended and make the magic happen!!!

[Laurentius]

It certainly isn't obsolete with ME! LOL

I like intercourse and find it very enjoyable.

But I think there is another variable in this equation that Elizabeth may not be considering: providers don't always do all they can to make it worth doing.

Now, I am not speaking about any recent engagements, but there was a time where I wasn't very good at choosing providers and my experiences weren't as good as they are nowadays. A lot of the ladies I saw were pretty highly rated, and they certainly didn't charge below average -- but they were definitely not a good choice *for me.*

First, many hadn't the slightest clue about how to make a condom work better for a guy. There are lots of different ways -- but I'll give just one: use a ribbed condom turned inside out with surgical silicone lube on the portion facing the penis. Not all condoms are created equal; but most just used whatever they grabbed cheaply, popped it on and started riding. You know it's bad when a guy fakes orgasm just to make sure the lady doesn't rub herself raw down there.

Second, again with the cluelessness, girls who *thought* they were being "safe" by doing CBJ and quite obviously using their teeth while so doing would then try to use the SAME CONDOM for intercourse even though the tender ministrations with their incisors had clearly compromised the mechanical integrity of the condom. And when I would require a second condom for intercourse, they'd make a stink.

The stink focused on two things. First, that I would DARE tell them how to do their jobs (albeit nicely) and second the fact that a condom (when I'm shucking out $350+) was too expensive. (!!!???!!) A lady who makes a stink over something like that is a real turn-off. It's a bigger turnoff when I realize I really shouldn't have to tell someone charging a very professional rate something so basic.

Third, they want you to climax instantly, and if you still haven't had a climax in 30 seconds, they start with the fake moaning "Oh, I'm cumming, oh oh oh." I'm sorry, but it is so ostentatiously fake to anyone with half a clue that it makes it difficult for me to relax my vigilance enough for the autonomic nervous system to take over and reach PEI.

During intercourse some of these ladies really tried to hurry things along; which can be counterproductive. I'm pretty sexually sensitive, and just as a clitoris can be overstimulated; so can a penis. So their "hurry up" approach of overstimulating, especially combined with bad theatrics, just added up to me faking orgasm to make them stop already.

Fourth, they were simply doing the motions for the most part. There was no feeling of intimacy whatsoever. It was barely one step above masturbation and maybe not even that. Hey, if a guy is into porn that might be just the ticket; but I don't view porn and I'm not particularly interested in disembodied intercourse with a 98.6 degree blow-up doll.

Incidentally, those ladies who offered BBBJ were reasonably good at it. But the intercourse was just ... I'm sorry but it is true ... bad. Not worth it.

So it MAY be that one reason why guys are looking for less intercourse is that the intercourse they are having with providers is simply not as ... satisfying ... as it should be. This may reflect many underlying fundamental issues.

Like I said, I have not had any such issues in the past couple of years because I have approached things differently; and I have enjoyed the intercourse with the ladies I have seen. I really enjoy it a lot. It's the highlight of a session.

BUT -- based upon some of my past experiences, I could see that if other guys had similar experiences with those (and similar) well-reviewed providers, they would be willing to forego intercourse.

This is not a typical posting from me, but some guy out there has to be willing to say unpleasant things. And it can be summarized thusly: there is a population of providers out there that has simply not developed intercourse as a skill as highly as they have developed other things.

[gimme_that]

I agree dude.

Lord forbid you book an hour appointment and try to have vaginal intercourse for 30 to 45 minutes of it......for most providers they consider being a miscreint or too handsy.

This is partly why I book 2 hours or more. The sex is the most important part for me. Oral is good....but most ladies I have seen really couldn't do it past 15 minutes on average.

[awl4knot]

Laurentius,

I agree that the level of commitment to fine intercourse is lacking in some providers, but that would not persuade a f#cking type of guy to go over to the French. No, he would seek out gals who can really f#ck since that is what he wants.

I use to be sceptical of the girls who would from the moment of insertion hump at a triphammer pace in CG and would start moaning about their incipient orgasms within 30 seconds. But two younger ladies who I trust tell me that by the time we get to the f#cking they are ready to go and want it hard and fast. I still prefer a slower ascent, but when their asses are smacking your pelvis, their eyes are hooded in concentration and their breasts are bouncing like crazy, it seems a bit cruel to slow them down.

Awl4knot

[BellaIsabella]

Originally Posted by awl4knot

Laurentius,

I agree that the level of commitment to fine intercourse is lacking in some providers, but that would not persuade a f#cking type of guy to go over to the French. No, he would seek out gals who can really f#ck since that is what he wants.

I use to be sceptical of the girls who would from the moment of insertion hump at a triphammer pace in CG and would start moaning about their incipient orgasms within 30 seconds. But two younger ladies who I trust tell me that by the time we get to the f#cking they are ready to go and want it hard and fast. I still prefer a slower ascent, but when their asses are smacking your pelvis, their eyes are hooded in concentration and their breasts are bouncing like crazy, it seems a bit cruel to slow them down.

Awl4knot

I am a younger lady who can relate!

[pjpenner]

For me, there are so many different factors involved that a single preference doesn't fit all (or even a majority) of occasions. Some of those factors include:

• The skill level of the provider
• My ability to "please" the provider (my skills)
• My relationship with the provider as developed over time
• The type of session. Some sessions are intimate. Some are playful. Some are simply directed by lust and passion.

Since my favorite type of session is very intimate; I prefer for the oral pleasures (BJ and DATY) to be foreplay with the climactic end for the two of us to be in a position of intercourse that allows for intimate kissing and eye-to-eye contact.

Maybe I'm just fooling myself, but I still think "making love" is possible in the world of P4P.

I seriously dislike the feeling of being serviced and being involved in a bang fest. My own personality and needs don't allow me to enjoy these two types of activities ... to any degree of satisfaction.