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NipLover · 01-20-2011, 09:23 PM

My only comment on this type of situation is this: In our day and age of technology, there is not an excuse to leave someone hanging. Send a text, leave a voicemail, or whatever. But do something! Don't leave someone hanging. These type of situations invariably start with "I'm running late." And they seem to end with...nothing at all. No response whatsoever. Frankly, if it starts that way and finishes that way, to a guy on the other end it seems to be a lie.
I understand. It has happened to me. But a simple text "Sorry, not gonna happen, but I'll make it up to you" will at least let the guy know what is not gonna happen. Or at least it isn't gonna happen then!

Bobave · 01-20-2011, 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NipLover

My only comment on this type of situation is this: In our day and age of technology, there is not an excuse to leave someone hanging. Send a text, leave a voicemail, or whatever. But do something! Don't leave someone hanging. These type of situations invariably start with "I'm running late." And they seem to end with...nothing at all. No response whatsoever. Frankly, if it starts that way and finishes that way, to a guy on the other end it seems to be a lie.
I understand. It has happened to me. But a simple text "Sorry, not gonna happen, but I'll make it up to you" will at least let the guy know what is not gonna happen. Or at least it isn't gonna happen then!

Let's cut to the chase:
The responses will fall into these categories -
1) Providers have lives too, shit happens (from derelict providers and WKs)
2) There isn't really any excuse for not giving you a heads up ( responsible providers and hobbyists)
3) Um, not really another valid position, I guess...

snoopdogg · 01-20-2011, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NipLover

My only comment on this type of situation is this: In our day and age of technology, there is not an excuse to leave someone hanging. Send a text, leave a voicemail, or whatever. But do something! Don't leave someone hanging. These type of situations invariably start with "I'm running late." And they seem to end with...nothing at all. No response whatsoever. Frankly, if it starts that way and finishes that way, to a guy on the other end it seems to be a lie.
I understand. It has happened to me. But a simple text "Sorry, not gonna happen, but I'll make it up to you" will at least let the guy know what is not gonna happen. Or at least it isn't gonna happen then!

Thumbs Up!

davidsmith0123 · 01-20-2011, 11:30 PM

Um, Niplover, let me guess ... the only good answer is "There really isn't any excuse for not giving you a head's up..."

Ladies, I am not picking on you. This goes for both sides of the equation. Hobbyists who NCNS also have no excuse.

I am fairly new here, and fairly new to the hobby, but i have seen 3 or 4 providers monthly, many repeats but 8 different providers over 5 months, and only once did someone cancel, and in that event she emailed me hours prior to our appointment. I can understand a one-off situation, some terrible problem leading to a NCNS, but in that case the answer still is "There really is no excuse... but let me explain..." And again, that goes for both clients and providers.

In a world of cell phones, it seems hard to understand not providing some type of notice, even in the presence of a S.O. or a child, and that goes for both sides of the relationship. Absent a visit to the E.R. or something similar, there is at least time for a text message, or an email, and possibly a concise phone call or message.

Bobave · 01-21-2011, 01:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davidsmith0123

In a world of cell phones, it seems hard to understand not providing some type of notice, even in the presence of a S.O. or a child, and that goes for both sides of the relationship. Absent a visit to the E.R. or something similar, there is at least time for a text message, or an email, and possibly a concise phone call or message.

Agreed, it applies on both sides of the equation.

Guest102312 · 01-21-2011, 07:51 AM

I am adding my two cents here. When a provider/hobbyist cancels a session dont go bashing the person based on what all providers and hobbyist do as a whole. Take it by one situation at a time. I was drug through the mud because "ALL" providers use that excuse. Some of us really dont have to lie there for I should not be stuck in a category with everyone else.
When contacting me to infor me you can not make it, I know that if your S.O is standing there or even family...they are nosey and so this makes it difficult to give heads up when they are watching you....do you really want to open that can of worms? But lets face it, this kind of stuff happens....life happens and no matter if we want this to change or not it is going to happen. Hell if this kind of thing was meant to be easy no one would do it.
Again my opinion is dont judge all providers/hobbyist as a whole when it comes to this.

irishlad · 01-21-2011, 07:55 AM

OP.

In any other business or even socially you would be correct.

You fail to consider though, that depending on the individual involved this is probably a clandestine activity seen as legally dangerous, potentially embarrassing or both. This can complicate things considerably, especially real-time communications.

Pflugerbill · 01-21-2011, 07:56 AM

Absolutely, there is no excuse for not contacting someone to let them know you will be late or won't make the appointment. It's just common sense. This goes for both sides of the equation.

You can try to justify your lousy TCB all day long with half excuses but the fact remains if you don't do the right thing you screwed up. You've obviously been contacting each other for some length and period of time to set up the appointment so what changes all of a sudden that you can't let each other know?

Dagny D.E.W. · 01-21-2011, 08:14 AM

Like yesterday we didn't have a time set up but I was driving in to be there for the earliest time just in case. He called back and said, it is going to be a NO-GO today. sorry. Took less than one minute.

But at least I knew where I stood and could take the next one who called w/o worrying that I was going to mess him up. Thank you for being a gent and letting me know!

Guest102312 · 01-21-2011, 08:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pflugerbill

Absolutely, there is no excuse for not contacting someone to let them know you will be late or won't make the appointment. It's just common sense. This goes for both sides of the equation.

You can try to justify your lousy TCB all day long with half excuses but the fact remains if you don't do the right thing you screwed up. You've obviously been contacting each other for some length and period of time to set up the appointment so what changes all of a sudden that you can't let each other know?

You are absolutely right, but however take this into consideration.........Say in order to set something up you (the hobbyist) can only get emails at night. Now your S.O. is home or your boss is standing over you to make a last minute deadline obviously making it extremely difficult to send a response. I never initially get mad unless the person has done it to me NUMEROUS times but I try to be understanding due to this is a sneaking thing we call lust, haha.

Guest102312 · 01-21-2011, 08:19 AM

I agree that a phone call or text is called for but that is sometimes difficult, lol.

Guest110911 · 01-21-2011, 01:35 PM

i have never been NCNS'd....but one provider had to reschedule me...and then reschedule me again. she more than made up for it by adding time and lowering rate for each time.