A St. Paddy's Day Tale

[King MoMo]

Into a Belfast pub limps poor Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, face is bruised and lip split and swollen.

" What happened to you, Paddy?" asks Sean, the bartender.

" Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.

" That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to a big lad like you. He must have had something in his hand."

" That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had,and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."

" Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yerself. “Didn't you have something in your hand?"

" Aye, that I did," grinned Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's plump freckled breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."

[James1588]

Originally Posted by King MoMo

Into a Belfast pub limps poor Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, face is bruised and lip split and swollen.

" What happened to you, Paddy?" asks Sean, the bartender.

" Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.

" That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to a big lad like you. He must have had something in his hand."

" That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had,and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."

" Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yerself. “Didn't you have something in your hand?"

" Aye, that I did," grinned Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's plump freckled breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."

That was superb!

Did you hear the one about the art museum in Dublin? An important new painting had just been added. It showed a group of coal miners, all sitting in a row on a bench. All completely nude, and all black from head to toe. With a single exception: the one on the left-hand end of the row had a nice pink penis to contrast with all that black.

A critic asked the artist if his painting was some sort of political statement about gays and the class struggle or something. "No," said the artist, "it's just a row of naked Irish coal miners, getting ready to go back to work in the mine after their lunch break."

"So," said the critic, "is there some racial significance to the one on the end, having a pink unit?"

The artist just laughed. "The one on the end, there, that's Seamus ... he went home for lunch."