D/s and the hobby

[bule84]

There have been several threads about domination lately and I am curious about other points of view on this. I am into D/s and other parts of the BDSM scene. I have always felt that D/s play and the hobby don't mix well, at least it doesn't for me. IMO, you have to really get into the mind of your sub, understand what turns her on, turns her off, hard limits, softer limits that need to be pushed, what zones her out, etc And so much more, but you get the idea. All of this is accomplished thru communication and exploration. The limited communication setting up an apt, does not afford this opportunity. Then there is the huge issue of trust, that has to be established.

Some one posted in another thread about looking for a Dom, some points on how to find one and closed by saying something to the effect of - then you have found one for however long the donation lasts.....that really summed it up well for me.

I guess if you established an ongoing thing with one like minded provider, you could get to know her over time, but I would expect that communication between appointments would still be limited. Maybe with a few exceptions

Sure you can find a few providers to have kinky sex with. Pics, bondage, spanking, rough sex, WS, etc. One person can be dominant during those activities, but there is more to D/s than kinky sex for an hour or 2 at a time. Heck, in a good scene you are still in foreplay mode at the 2 hour mark

I have always struggled with how the two mesh, it seems to mesh well for some, so I thought I would ask.

[mm-good]

I too am curious how these two worlds might overlap or mesh.

There are some providers that are experienced in both worlds and can become an excellent D or s partner.

I think for them to mesh you have to work at finding the right partner from the hobby world and build the knowledge of each other as you stated. I am aware of some providers that are on this board that have developed the needed knowledge of regular clients and can fulfill those roles. My bet is this is more of the exception than the rule.

Most of the really good D/s scenarios I have experienced were not in the hobby world but in the BDSM world or with "civvies' that were seeking this experience. In both cases, the process and protocols you mention were very much in play.

Since the hobby world is 'time limited' and more difficult to , I have found it more beneficial to limit activity to 'light' BDSM or other fantasies in the hobby.

It would be interesting to hear from others who have success meshing these two worlds and how they accomplished it.